Medjugorje LGBT Ministry

Here we share a wide variety of stories as they happened as we were out & about on the streets of London!

Can you sell me a Rosary?

Yesterday as I was returning home, there was a lady I know sitting on a bench near the door.

‘Michael, can you help me? Can you sell me a rosary?’, she asked.

Now I have no access to the shop but I do have a secret stash of rosaries upstairs & so I replied:

‘No but if you come with me, I will give you a rosary!’

Delighted, she came upstairs with me & I could see that she was already touched by the fact that I invited her in.

‘I haven’t been up here for such a long time’  she commented nostalgicly!

Meanwhile, I went down to my room & found about 8 different rosaries & said ‘take your pick!’

Unable to decide, she rhymed off a poem in Italian that would decide for her & eventually she took a rosary.

‘I have no rosary she said because I give them all away. I used to have a beautiful one from Medjugorje but I gave that away too’, she explained with joy & love.

I know this woman for many years & she has often been the subject of much gossip & judgement & yet, all I could ever see was a woman who truly loves Jesus & Our Lady & who has a big heart for the poor.


I truly believe that sometimes God allows us to meet these people that our spiritual lives are more about giving than receiving & this poor woman was an example of that as she had given away even her favourite rosary!

Mother Teresa once said that ‘what you cannot give away, possesses you ‘ & so maybe a chance for us all to ask God what it is that we might still be attached to & then the grace to just give it away!!

Our Lady of the rosary, pray for us!!

Heaven’s Humour!

Last week, I was in Fatima, a very special place when it comes to Our Lady & particularly, the ‘immaculate heart of Mary’.

I arrived back on Wednesday, September 30th, only to find a large envelope outside my bedroom door!!

Opening it like a child at Christmas, it was a birthday card that somehow got delayed in the post but that’s not all, the card was from my friend Peter who lives across the road & on the front it had a giant picture of Our Lady of Fatima!!

Now, it gets funnier because Peter isn’t Catholic, he certainly wouldn’t have a clue about Our Lady of Fatima & I have no idea where he managed to find that image.

And of course, let’s not forget that somehow, I received the card just as I arrived from Fatima!!

Little things like this, remind me of heaven’s humour but also of Our Lady’s motherly love for all souls & not just Catholics.

Indeed, one of the hurts of Our Lady in Fatima was exactly that, that so many deny that she is their mother & in doing so, block her motherly love & care from touching their hearts!

How much I thought, was she smiling as Peter went to all that effort to give me that card despite not being Catholic & how much, does she love him & every soul even if they barely know who she is!

May we make every effort to make the love of Our Lady known to every soul of all nations, peoples, religions & may her immaculate heart triumph as she promised in Fatima!

He’s a Father!!

On Sunday evening, I went for a beer in my ‘local’ & was excited to talk to the manager who is Portuguese as I was just back from Fatima

Over the years they’ve got to know me & call me ‘the Father’!!

Anyway, yesterday, he did all the evangelisation for me even if it was a little mortifying.

Speaking to one of the waitresses, he said really loudly so everyone around could hear:

‘See him over there, he’s a Father, sometimes he brings us the Holy water & sometimes I talk to him to destress & it takes away all my demons but I don’t do confession with him!!’

Quite a fair analysis of our relationship except now everyone was looking at me.

Part of me wanted to disappear & the other part was thinking of what a great evangelisation opportunity it was.

‘You must know lots of secrets’ commented a guy beside me who turned out to be from Russia!

‘Ask me no questions & I’ll tell you no lies’, I smiled back at him with a cheeky smile, hoping nobody would ask me for a priestly blessing & I’d be exposed as a fraud!!!

Such at times are the challenges of evangelisation & as ministry in the Church as a lay person. Often, people in the world have no concept of lay-ministers etc & for them, you are either a priest or a nun or nothing at all!!

Maybe that’s our great challenge in today’s world, to show the church & the world that lay people are by no means second class Catholic & that God can work very powerfully through them with the power of the Holy Spirit & use them to complement the ministries given to priests & nuns!

Come Holy Spirit

Call me fat!!

Yesterday as I was praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, I got the sudden prompting to go for a walk & so off I went, wondering who or what I was about to bump into!

Suddenly as I passed the local shop, I bumped into a girl who I know from the gym!?

‘Hello fatso’, I grinned, remembering that she told me the last time I met her to call her ‘fat’ when I commented that she had lost weight!!

She smiled as she explained to Rayne who happened to be passing by also that she has ‘body dysmorphia’ & that if someone says that she is thin, that she will binge eat until she’s not thin anymore!

It all sounded a bit strange to me but there is no point annoying people!

However, as I left, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to pray for all those who struggle with eating disorders & body image, especially in today’s society where ‘image’ is everything.

Some people eat almost nothing, for others it’s eat & vomit, others make up daily meal plans that seem more complicated that sending a man to the moon & yet, deep down, people are in fact searching for healing, for truth & for inner peace.

May we pray in a special way today for those people who somehow struggle in this area. May the healing love of the Holy Spirit touch their hearts & free them of all irrational belief systems & grant them peace.

Rosary Blessings!

Yesterday was one of those funny days, I slept in a little & while in the coffee shop, I heard God whisper in my heart:

‘Prepare for an unusual day!’

Immediately afterwards, I went to my gym, only to find it closed & so I had to go to another gym where I haven’t been before! As I do some quite unusual exercises & handstands, it wasn’t long before I got talking to the trainers & opportunities for more evangelisation were opening without me even trying!

Afterwards, I headed towards Ealing where the divine mercy devotions were taking place & I was early for once!.

I arrived at 2pm only to find the Church closed with a notice that the mass was on in a different Church, some 10 minutes away. I also noticed an old black lady sitting on the wall praying the rosary & when I told her that there was no mass, she was so disappointed.

However, I told her that we could take a bus to the other Church & at this stage we were speaking french as she was from the Congo!

Rushing with her zimmer frame down the streets of Ealing, we eventually got the bus & were on time for the gospel!

However, it was what happened next that touched me the most.

After mass, she came to find me & with tears in her eyes, she said:

‘Merci, merci, merci….O, Mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy…..mercy…!’

I gave her a big hug & told her how much Jesus loves her & she was ecstatic.

On the train home, as I was pondering on it, it hit me that evangelisation doesn’t have to be about big things or dramatic healings or miracles but rather the little things done with love.

Sitting on the tube, I suddenly noticed that the young man opposite me had a rosary beads in his hands! He saw me looking & I could tell that he was slightly uncomfortable! Perhaps he thought I was judging him. He had no way of knowing that I was Catholic!

However, in my hands, I was hiding a small prayer beads that I got in Fatima & so I casually let him see it!

Suddenly, he let his rosary drop so we could all see what it was & the cross!!

‘What mysteries are you praying?’, I asked him with a smile!

‘The joyful’, he smiled back!!

Again, it was nothing dramatic but how wonderful it was to see him praying publicly & not caring!!

Our Lady in Fatima, called herself the ‘Lady of the Rosary’, she promised exceptional Graces to all who pray the rosary regularly & I couldn’t help but feel that Our Lady had sent me to that old lady praying the rosary to get her to mass & to the other young man, to give him a bit more courage!!

What a wonderful gift we have from God in Our Lady & how much we should heed her pleas when she asks us to pray the rosary,  trusting that she will bring resolution to all our problems!

Our Lady of the rosary, pray for us & help us to pray to you!

Don’t Pray to Mary!!

Our Lady certainly as humour!! On Tuesday, as I sat talking to a priest, he mentioned how the message of Fatima is particularly hard to swallow for protestants!

‘Whatever about praying more to Jesus but doing reparation for the sins committed that wound the heart of Mary, is just a step too far for some.’

Little did I realise, I was soon to meet such a person!!

The very next day as I walked from the shrine to the bus station, I asked a girl I saw if I was on the right path.

She was very sweet & told me that she too was going to the bus station & was talking the same bus! The only difference was that my flight was at 4.30 & hers was at 6.30!!

As we waited, we got chatting a little & she told me that living in Fatima was difficult, especially with all the pilgrims & hard work.

Somehow, she opened up & told me that she’s evangelical & all of a sudden, I got the same old ‘bible-only’ sermon that I’ve heard many times before!

She said that she sees pilgrims and all they do is pray to Mary without a single mention of Jesus & for her, this is idolitory.

Now, she also read on Ryanair that you should be at the airport 3 hours before your flight & so I knew immediately that I was dealing with a ‘letter of the law’ type of person!

The Holy Spirit got me to the airport 30 minutes before my flight & I had lots of time!!

Still, as the conversation continued, she surprised me by telling me that Fatima has about 4 evangelical churches & that she believes that Mary did not appear in Fatima but rather it was Satan disguised as an ‘angel of light’.

Putting all of that aside, I noticed that she seemed troubled & decided to redirect the conversation!!


Yesterday was her birthday, she was leaving Portugal to work in the Netherlands & was full of anxiety & fear.

‘Can I pray for you?’, I asked, deciding to be more evangelical than the evangelicals!!

I placed my hand on her shoulder & I felt heat as God’s healing touch passed through my hands.

Suddenly she opened up more!

‘I’m married, my husband just ignores me, comes home & just plays video games & if I say something, he gets aggressive with his tongue.’

I could feel her pain. It was written all over her body!

‘Before leaving today, I prayed & I think God sent you to me’, she added, feeling very emotional.

Soon our bus arrived & we didn’t meet again until we got off at the airport.

She thanked me for the prayer & told me that she was feeling much better while she also told me that I was very late for my flight!!

As we parted ways, I thought of how much Our Lady loves her, what a gentle heart she has & how sad it is that so many protestants don’t understand the role of Our Lady.

Ir really hit me that this is literally the message of Fatima where the visionaries saw the heart of Our Lady surrounded by thorns & of course these thorns come from those who don’t know her & don’t love her!

Evangelisation isn’t always about entering into theological disputes with people, sometimes actions speak louder than words & I can only hope & pray that she felt a touch of Mary as I chatted with her & prayed.

Our Lady, help us Catholics to show our protestant friends that you are not the devil in disguise but rather, you are our beautiful mother, praying by the heart of Jesus for all our intentions & that you desperately desire them to know the fullness of God’s love & of your place in His heavenly Kingdom!

Lady of Fatima, pray for the evangelicals of Fatima!!!

Telephone to Heaven!!

Good afternoon from the bus from Fatima to the airport! What an amazing few days with yet more evangelisation adventures!!

On Tuesday, I discerned Our Lady asking me to pray for priests & so I offered mass, rosary & 2 hours of Eucharistic Adoration as well as the evening prayer.

After my second hour of adoration, I was prompted to go to confession & as the reconciliation area is beside the adoration chapel, it was easy to find.

A kind nun pointed me to a priest who spoke English & so there I was, face to face with the father.

There was a grill between us but because I choose to sit rather than kneel, I could see that as I was talking, he was looking at his phone!

‘Is that Jesus on the phone?!’, I joked, ‘you must give me His WhatsApp!!’, I added, while inwardly feeling disappointed at his lack of presence or consideration.

‘I’m just waiting on an important message’, he replied, now slightly embarrassed but not enough to turn it off!

I continued with my confession etc & then he replied by giving me a lecture on Church teaching on sexuality.

‘You haven’t listened to a single word I said, have you, instead you were staring at that phone & now your giving me a sermon on teaching that I explicitly said I agree with…’ I replied.

The room went quiet & sensing that I wasn’t aggressive, he finally put his phone away & what opened up was a 30 minute chat about ministry to the LGBT community, the story of Fatima, carrying one’s cross & I even got to share some of my testimony!!

As I parted, he asked me to pray for him & I smiled at Jesus saying ‘I certainly wasn’t expecting that!!’

The day wasn’t over & I went to evening mass at the Basilica only to be in front of a priest who was on the phone during the mass.

‘What is it with priests & their phones today?’, I pondered, trying not to get annoyed.

Anyway, the next morning, I was perched on the wall as the same priest walked by & despite having a headache, I mustered up an enthusiastic ‘hello Father’.

He stopped & was delighted to talk. He asked me about 50 questions in the space of 5 minutes like I was at a quiz!

Are you Catholic? Do you go to mass? Do you know the story of Fatima? What happened in August in Fatima? What happened in October?

I got about half of them right or sort of right before again, the conversation opened up to ministry & he was super interested in the LGBT Ministry.

Turns out that he is a parish priest in London & recently he was asked to give a talk to the youth group on homosexuality etc.

So as you can imagine, we had a great chat & as he left, he promised to keep me in his prayers!

Reflecting on both encounters, I couldn’t help but smile at how Jesus had managed to turn both situations around & what started with disinterest anything but the mobile phone, finished with wonderful spiritual sharing & prayer.

Let’s pray for our priests, that they don’t get consumed by their phones & know when to put them away & be present to other blessings that God is placing in front of them!

Finally, in case anyone is interested, I didn’t get the Lord’s WhatsApp!!

Jesus, yes, the Pope No!

Good afternoon from a cloudy Fatima! I was up early, found a local gym, got to mass at the chapel of apparitions & am now in blog mode!

My flight arrived in Lisbon at about 1pm yesterday but my bus wasn’t until 4 & so, rather than get grumpy, I decided that it would be a great way to evangelise.

The Holy Spirit didn’t let me down as I met the most charming couple while ordering a coffee & we ended up talking about spirituality for a good hour!!

I still had two hours left so I got an orange juice when suddenly a French couple with poor English asked if they could share my table.

I agreed, still not letting on that I speak French as they didn’t seem over friendly & I was in need of more grace to start up another conversation!!

Finally, I bit the bullet & asked them where they are from while commenting that the Pope is currently in France.

Their faces remained pretty sour as the lady told me that the Pope would actually be visiting her area & she wanted nothing to do with him.

‘I’ve definitely hit a nerve’ I thought as I wondered if I could soften her heart a bit!

Were you always religious?’ She asked as I thought inside that she should talk to my mother to find out just how unreligious I was!!

As I began telling her my story of going away from the church, my conversion, life & ongoing struggles in the church as a gay Catholic, she began to change!

Almost with tears, she told me of the hurt of covering up the sexual abuse scandals & the hurt in general that she experienced with lots of priests who were not transparent.

She told me of her love for Jesus but bewilderment with the Church & all the pomp & that she actually looks after the church in her local village.

I could see that she was a very kind, sensitive & genuine person that felt crushed by the institution & was hanging onto the bit of faith that she had left.

It hit my how injustices turns people away from the Church like nothing else & the critical importance to have humble & just priests, not afraid to take responsibility when or if they make mistakes.

As we parted, I promised her prayers from Fatima, knowing that God wanted me to hear her pain for a reason & that many more are like her.

It also showed the importance of sharing some of my own negative experiences in the church & not pretending that everything is brilliant! People relate to truth & vulnerability & they run a mile from what is fake.

My testimony like many others is one with untold abuse & injustices but the real testimony is one of forgiveness because I’m still in the church, still smiling & going from strength to strength!

So let’s pray for all victims of abuse, not that the church will suddenly become perfect because that’s not going to happen but rather that they get the grace to forgive, to persevere & to become strong soldiers of love & justice in the Church itself.

Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us!

E-Pray!!

As I’m sitting here on a Ryanair flight on my way to Fatima, I’m going to tell you about a wonderful little miracle that happened yesterday!!

Over the last month or so, I’ve been helping a friend of mine who lives alone. His carer suddenly resigned & I volunteered to take his place. It was a way of helping Nick & also earning a few extra pounds to go where God sends me.

Nick was an atheist when I met him first but after a certain healing he got after I prayed with him, he’s now agnostic! In other words, he’s gone from believing that there is no God to believing there is something!!

Now, he’s been living in the same place for 18 years & so when I started helping him, one of the things that I said to myself was:

‘That sofa has to go!!’

Now, I’m not an exorcist but one thing I have learnt over the years is that objects carry energy & sometimes demonic forces attach to them much like how a spider or another insect would!

Now of course, the preferred home for a demonic presence is in the person himself but if they can’t achieve that, then getting as close as possible to the person will do!! Anything is better than hell!!

Returning back to the sofa, whether it had a demon or not, I can’t say but it definitely had very bad energy & everyone agreed!

After a bit of convincing, we put it on ebay & wouldn’t you know, there was hardly any interest. Then suddenly a few days ago, Nick’s ebay crashed & it took me two hours to get it back and a lot of prayer!!

Afterwards, I said to Nick, let’s pray & he agreed!!

We both prayed for a number of things, including getting rid of this sofa!!

Only two days later, Nick contacted me, ecstatic with joy. Suddenly, totally out of the blue, not only had someone expressed an interest in the sofa but they had bought it, were renting a van & were collecting it yesterday evening!

I called his friend Desmond & told him & his reply was:

‘I won’t believe it until it’s actually gone!!’

I understood where he was coming from as people can be notorious for changing their minds!

Nick asked me to help the people load the van & I asked Rayne to help me & yesterday evening at about 8pm, the people were there with the van!!

We had to carry it (two separate pieces) down 4 flights of stairs & into the van but it was worth every moment!!

As soon as it was finished, Nick popped out to buy us pizza & wine & I blessed the whole apartment with exorcism holy water that I brought from the church!!

We had a lovely evening celebrating & even Nick couldn’t get over the serendipity of it all!

However, what the world calls serendipity, I call grace & God intervening to free up situations & move things along for people’s good!!

So, praising God for this little miracle & also encouraging any of you to clear out old objects that may be carrying bad energy etc. from your houses & rooms & fill your place with as much love, light, freshness & blessings as possible!!

Next blog from Fatima!! Prayers for all!

My Filthy Hands!

It’s been a busy & yer very prayerful few days! Of all the things that struck me, it was my conversation over the phone with one priest!

Vulnerable, he shared with me some of the struggles he was facing & the challenges of being a priest.

One thing that struck me in particular was when he spoke of celebrating the mass & how as a priest, he feels the laity looking at him & his ‘Holy hands’ touching the body of Jesus.

‘My filthy hands’ more like, he said, so acutely aware of his unworthiness & sinfulness & the challenges of being a priest & of being a man all at once.

Now, I should add that he wasn’t after confessing to me that he had recently murdered someone or robbed a bank for that matter. Rather it was the everyday faults & failures of daily life, the slow martyrdom that we all face!

Yet, how beautiful I thought that he was in touch with all this & with his unworthiness. Jesus can do an awful lot with souls like this provided of course they keep coming to God through the sacraments for more healing, more love, more patience, more humility…more everything!!

It’s also a reminder to us to pray for our priests & not to expect too much from them or to be too disappointed when we discover their faults 

The seminary is for about 7 years where as it takes a lifetime to become a saint!

So let’s pray for priests, remembering that God can use them powerfully despite their imperfections & may we pray particularly that they do not fall into undue discouragement when faced with the reality of their ‘filthy hands’!!

Pretty Woman

Sometimes God just surprises us even more & yesterday was certainly one of those days!!

My friend Nick asked me to collect him at at one of his friend’s houses & so I found myself cycling to this random address while finishing a rosary after mass.

Nothing could have prepared me for what came next!!

I buzzed & got to the apartment only to be greeted by a pretty woman with breasts as big as melons, covered in tattoos & for good measure, she was dressed in nothing except a swimsuit!!

She greeted me warmly & in I went to a very chaotic apartment, conscious that she was definitely in a little need of God’s healing touch.

As she proceeded to tell me her life story, I couldn’t help but think that she looked exactly like Dolly Parton & yet my heart went out to her as she told me about all the traumas & difficulties in her life. 

She had spent time in jail, been the victim of witchcraft & occult attacks, had objects moving in her house on their own etc.

Rather than listening to her going on & on forever, I told her that I was a Catholic & am involved in the healing & deliverance ministry & would be happy to pray with her.

‘I was baptised Catholic too’, she told me while enthusiastically accepting my offer.

She took me to another room, her bedroom, which was decorated like a barbie house & asked if she could lie down while I prayed so she could feel comfortable.

‘Sure’, I replied, thanking God that I’m gay while laughing interiorly at the madness of the entire situation.

We prayed for about 20 minutes as I guided her through certain forgiveness prayers & then other prayers for inner-healing, deliverance, infilling of the Holy Spirit etc.

When we went back into the sitting room where Nick was waiting, we all noticed a big shift in the energy in both her & in the apartment. Her eyes were different, the place felt more peaceful & I could feel the presence of Our Lady there, who loves this woman like she was her only daughter.

As we left, I promised to come back with Holy water & some statues & images of Jesus & Mary.

She was so grateful as she told me how much she loves Jesus & desires to get her life back on track & as I left, I reflected on Jesus’ infinite love & mercy, the utter craziness of the afternoon, the dangers of the occult & the need for deliverance ministry but most of all, how totally privileged I was to be used by God to bring some light into this lady’s darkness.

‘Jesus, we love you, use us to bring light into the darkness, into the dark shadows where nobody else will go & bring great healing & freedom to these souls, trapped in the grips of the enemy!’

Please pray for this woman &

Jesus on the boat!!

On Saturday night, I was invited to a boat party organised by the ‘West London Queer Project’, a group that helps LGBT people in London to find friends & community. For me, it was a great opportunity for evangelisation.

Ironically, it was on the same boat three years ago that I met Nick for whom I’m now doing a little work a few days a week as a carer and so I was excited as to who I might meet this time!

I said my usual prayer to the Holy Spirit & off I went!!

About half way through, I went downstairs on the boat to sit down & there was an older gentleman beside me & I just said a quick hello and asked him where he’s from.

‘Ireland’, he replied while adding ‘County Clare’.

He didn’t seem to realise that I was Irish too & also from Clare so I played along for a bit, pretending I didn’t know where it was! Turns out he was from Clare’s main town, Ennis, and had left 30 years ago.

‘I left, not because I wanted to but because I had to’, he said with sadness as he explained that being gay there was not a realistic option (don’t I know). 

I went on to tell him about my life as a gay Catholic while explaining that I live in a Catholic Church in London.

‘The Church ruined my life’, he said as he was so happy to hear that changes are happening & more and more gay Catholics are emerging.

‘I’m a very spiritual person’, he told me, explaining that he prays every day & despite all the hurt, his celtic spirituality is still very important to him.

Needless to say, I got his number & sent him my own testimony & as the evening continued, we all danced & had some fun!

Yet, as I walked home, I was once again convicted of all the hurt members of the gay community who feel that the church has ruined their lives & how important it is now for the church to restore their lives, give them back their faith, their dignity & their place as loved children of God.

Lord, raise up more brave missionaries to reach out to the LGBT community with love & understanding! I

Shut up & Pray!!

Last night, I was at a wonderful charismatic prayer meeting at Westminster Cathedral hall. The speaker gave us a wonderful talk on a Spanish saint, known as the ‘Bishop  of the Abandoned tabernacle’!

In short, profoundly grieved by how little time people spent praying at the tabernacle, he dedicated his life to promoting prayer & helping people to both understand & believe in the Eucharistic presence of Jesus.

The speaker then commented that things are just as bad today with so few people praying & often our churches full of endless chatter & talk both before, after & sometimes even during mass!!

She mentioned how years ago, there was such a thing as ‘Shhh Cards’ that one could give to chatter-boxes in churches which read something like:

‘If you wish to talk, please talk to me in the tabernacle. I am truly here, please tell me your worries & we will figure it out together.

Please do not disturb the other people in the church who are talking to me….’

In other words, a very polite way of saying: ‘will you please shut up & pray, you are in a church for heaven’s sake!!’

Aa I sat in the church this morning after mass & the chattering began, I thought again of last night’s talk!

I’m not sure if ‘Shhh’ cards might go down too well but certainly, we have a big challenge. How to reclaim our churches as places of prayer & foster in all Catholics a profound sense of the sacred…

‘Bishop of the Abandoned tabernacle’, pray for us!!

Dance for Jesus!

One of the best ways of evangelising is through our hobbies & the benefits are win win!

Firstly, God doesn’t want us burnt out & so no matter who we are, we need to take some time out for ourselves & for the things we enjoy.

Secondly, it’s a fantastic way of meeting new people in a casual ‘equal’ kind of a space while enjoying a mutual activity.

My latest hobby has been attending a dance class in Soho for gay people. I started a few months ago & was actually quite nervous before going!!

Yet I felt the Holy Spirit pushing  me beyond my fears as questions were in my head like:

‘What if they ask me what I do & I talk about Jesus & they all start laughing?’

I did what I always do in these situations, I went anyway & to my surprise, I found a super friendly, fun, kind & welcoming group with a real sense of encouragement & community.

And yes, after the first class, we went to the pub  & they did ask me what I did in life & yes, I did talk about Jesus!

However, rather than laughing at me, they were super encouraging, asked many questions about the Catholic Church etc & it actually became a great source of even more personal healing & growth.

Evangelisation isn’t about ramming Church down people’s throats, especially people who have been very hurt by the church. Rather, evangelisation is about sharing, praying, loving, listening & most of all witnessing the gospel.

Of course, I’m now friends with many of these people on Facebook & Instagram where they can see more about what I do & hopefully learn a little more about hese people on Facebook & Instagram where they can see more about what I do & hopefully learn a little more about how special LGBT people are to God & His yearning desire for us all to know Him personally.

Needless to say, my dancing was like my singing, room for a lot of improvement & yet, sometimes this is even better for evangelisation because rather than arriving as an expert, you humbly arrive as a beginner & you allow other people to help you.  a

s they do, you see their kindness, their goodness, you put aside all judgments & fears & you see another beautiful child of God that you have the privilege & opportunity to spend some time with!

So, why not take up a new hobby, something you always wanted to do & spread some love & Christianity as you go?!!

The POWER of Prayer!

One of the amazing things about prayer ministry is that you just don’t know what God will do!

Some people think that it’s about being sick but it’s far more than that as this little story will show.

Last week, a man came who was exasperated with visa issues & problems & he asked us to pray with him.

As we prayed, he felt God doing something & got a deep sense of certainty that things would work out somehow.

Fast forwarding one week, he came yesterday full of joy! Somehow, in almost a miraculous way, his case worked out. A new caseworker arrived on the scene & ‘like an angel sent from heaven’, it was resolved.

Prayer is so powerful for all situations!

Then there was another girl who was afflicted by the effects of witchcraft & last week as we prayed, she cried & cried & cried. Yesterday she said that her week was ‘much better ‘ & she was smiling!

Prayer is so real & so powerful. Let us thank God for the gift of prayer & seek out prayer for the seemingly impossible situations in our lives…..for nothing is impossible to God!@

Birthday Thanks!

Today, this blogger turns 21…again…but on a serious note, birthdays are such a wonderful time to give thanks!!

Ironically, it’s also the anniversary of my conversion when a gay french friend of mine invited me to mass on Sunday, September 14th 2008 and for the first time, it hit my heart, God was real & He loved me.

My journey of transformation began as He asked me to leave Ireland & everything familiar to me & go to the South of France where life began again!

From France to India to Australia to Ireland & then to Medjugorje, Croatia & finally London. ..the last 18 years have not been boring.

Still, I think of everyone who helped me on the way, every house I stayed in, meal I ate, tears I cried, prayers & laughs we shared & all I can do is say thanks to everyone who has been a part of my journey!

A special thanks to everyone in London, especially Mgr. Keith Bartrop who gave this wandering gay a place to stay & grow in my mission, to all my charismatic friends over at St. George’s who welcomed me so warmly & rekindled my charismatic side & to all my amazing LGBT friends who I have met over the years while evangelising…thank you everyone!

My only prayer as a new year begins is that more & more people be touched by God’s love, especially the most broken, the most lost & the ones that have been given up on!!

So, on this glorious feast of the cross, may the power of the cross heal &  transform many, many lives, especially those in the LGBT community.

Use Your Gifts!

Good morning! On Friday evening, I went to the charismatic prayer meeting at  London’s Westminster Cathedral where a lady gave us a wonderful talk on using our gifts!

She started off explaining how she wasn’t charismatic at all & through a charismatic friend of hers who kept pestering her to come to a meeting, she finally experienced the Holy Spirit & the rest is History!

As her talk went on, she kept emphasising one thing, that we must use our gifts & whether it’s a healing gift or a teaching gift or whatever it may be, we must use them.

As I happened to share my story of praying for the priest at the start of the meeting, she used that as one of her examples:

‘If he didn’t step up & offer to pray with the priest, nothing would have happened.’

With motherly love, she continued to explain how the young people of today are thirsting for something & are thirsting for God & how we must reach out.

Of course, reaching out isn’t easy. It’s far easier to wait in the church for people to come in than to actively reach out & yet this is what Jesus wants!

Jesus didn’t call us to be just the ‘salt of the Church’ but rather to be the ‘salt of the earth’ & so to bring & use our gifts into every dimension of the world around us.

It’s not easy but then she reminded us!

Acts 1:8 (NIV):
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Come Holy Spirit on us afresh & help us to use our gifts boldly, humbly & confidently so that we may be living signposts to others finding you!

Your Prayers are Powerful!

About a month ago, a young priest from Colombia came to stay with us in the Church to learn English. However, within a very short time, he caught a cold that he just couldn’t get rid of.

Lots of people were giving him lots of things but to no avail. The cold was there & he was so congested that he couldn’t talk!!!

As I was observing the situation, I wondered if I should offer to pray with him but somehow, the time didn’t quite seem right until suddenly, I was collecting my bike on Monday morning & I saw him in his room coughing & spurting.

‘Can I say a prayer with you?’, I asked & he agreed immediately.

I prayed for a few minutes & besides my hand feeling a little hot, nothing spectacular seemed to happen.

This morning, Friday, as I was getting my bike, he was there again with an enormous smile!

‘Your prayers are powerful man’, he said recounting that on Monday afternoon, his voice came back & he was suddenly healed after 3 weeks of being sick!

‘Praise God’, I smiled, delighted to hear such a positive story first thing in the morning!

As he is leaving today, he was emptying his room & he had enough medications to open a pharmacy. There was limsip, vaporub, paracetamol, cough bottle & more but it was ultimately the Holy Spirit who healed him!

A great reminder to us all that many physical illnesses have in fact spiritual roots & that God’s healing power is still happening in today’s world & Church, you just have to go to the right places!!

A Driverless Life?!

‘Have you seen the cars going around with no driver?’, asked the Lady serving me at Sainsbury’s yesterday!

I replied that I hadn’t as here in London, even the ‘driverless taxis’ still need to have a driver, even if the driver is doing nothing!

However, this lady says that she saw one without a driver & furthermore, swore that there is ‘no way’ that she will ever sit in one!!

It got me thinking! If life is like a taxi, we want to sit in a taxi where we feel safe & where someone safe is taking us to a given safe destination.

Seeing a taxi without a driver arouses in some, the feelings of danger, uncertainty & of vulnerability and so understandably they don’t want to jump in!

Yet, how many people are living lives with no real direction, with no real destination & with no driver because they have no relationship with God in their lives?!

Just like a driverless taxi, they are being ferried along by ‘something else’  & they have no real control or input.

The cares of the world take over, things like money, careers, fashion, success have been pre-programmed into their taxi ride through life & so very often, they are just going along with the ride!

God however offers another taxi ride with heaven as a destination & not the vain successes of this world.

And so, just like this woman at Sainsbury’s, more & more people are standing up & saying ‘no’ to a life without God & just coasting along with the current values of society!

Now of course, driverless taxis do have a destination & I will most certainly try one out but, they do make us stop & reflect about life & cause us to ask essential  questions like ‘who or what  is guiding my life & if it’s not God, where am I going to end up when it’s all over?’

Purgatory!!

Yesterday, I paid a trip to the dental hygienist & as I sat there, helpless in my chair, my thoughts switched to a soul in purgatory!

In Catholic theology, purgatory is a place of purification where the effects of sin are removed from our souls, much like plaque from our teeth.

The first similarity was the light! The light was very intense & I had to put on a pair of glasses to bear it. Similarly, souls in purgatory are at different levels of light & have to carefully progress from one to another, only as the purification process allows!

Second similarity! I was utterly helpless & 100% dependent on the hygienist. As he scraped & flossed & polished my teeth, I felt like a helpless paraplegic unable to move!

Thirdly was love! Although not a comfortable process, the room was immaculate, the hygienist & his assistant were extremely kind & as gentle as he could be while getting the work done! Purgatory too is a place of love where the angels help us as much as they can.

Next was the different stages! He started off with the electric scaler to get rid of the big stuff, then the hand-scaler, then the tepe brushes, then the floss & finally a polish!! Purgatory too has different levels & stages because God desires to draw us to an immaculate state of holiness.

Another valid point is that the whole process was considerably less painful than last time & that’s because I was apparently brushing my teeth better!! Similarly, the better we look after our souls on earth, the shorter & less painful will be our purgatory & who knows, maybe we’ll be able to skip purgatory!!

That said, from reading the lives & accounts of the mystics, we come to understand that there are countless souls in purgatory, some in enormous anguish as they took very little care of their spiritual souls while on earth.

God in His mercy, wants to free them but without our help, He can’t.

So, let’s offer our prayers today for souls in purgatory & pray that people will become as diligent in looking after their souls as many are at looking after their teeth through strong prayer lives & rooting out sin & vices over time with the help of the sacraments & a loving community.

As a child, I learnt this poem about looking after my teeth & going to the dentist:

‘I wish I looked after my teeth, all the toffees I chewed & sweet sticky food, I wish I looked after my teeth.’

Perhaps we need to teach another one about soul care & purgatory!!:

‘I wish I looked after my soul, all the lies I told, angry, mean & cold, I wish I looked after my soul!!’

Full-Fat Holy Spirit!!

On Friday evening, the Holy Spirit led me to a very charismatic inner-healing programme run by very anointed Indian priests.

As usual, the preaching, teaching & presence of Jesus was palpable & we all got more & more healing & strengthening for our lives!

Returning back to London, I told a Catholic friend of mine about it & let’s just say, his enthusiasm wasn’t the best.

Perhaps it’s because for some, charismatic spirituality seems silly or childlike & not something really fitting for ‘strong men of faith’.

Pondering this in my heart & disappointed at how some people reject big parts of the Holy Spirit & of healing ministry, I found myself at Hillsong yesterday morning where the pastor was speaking on exactly this topic!

‘Some people just want some of the Holy Spirit but God always wants to give more.’ He explained.

‘God wants you to have the Holy Spirit in you for your own journey to heaven but God wants you to have the Holy Spirit upon you so that He can use you to touch others.’

He then spoke of the baptism of the Holy Spirit & all the different gifts like praise, healing, deliverance & of course there are far more gifts that he didn’t mention.

He explained how sad it is that at time we block God because some of the ways that He works seem silly to us or to our culture & yet he continued, God is never in the comfortable.

‘The cross wasn’t comfortable, the first Pentecost wasn’t comfortable, the first apostles being sent to prison because of their preaching wasn’t comfortable…’

How then are we perhaps ‘bending’ the gospel to make it more comfortable?

Are we allowing the Holy Spirit to transform our culture & allow ALL of His gifts & charisms to flow through us or, are we transforming the Holy Spirit with our culture, picking & choosing the bits we like in the name of fitting in?

Finally, the pastor prayed with us all for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, just like the charismatic Indian priests who are full of love for the sacraments & open to all the different gifts & charsims of the Spirit which let’s face it, are essential for the ministries of healing & evangelisation.

‘Come Holy Spirit, may our Catholic Church become a place where the supernatural meets earth & where every priest & layperson is open to all your gifts & charisms regardless of how foolish or silly we may seem or sound!’

God bless all those Indian priests for their tireless work despite all the backlash & lack of support or appreciation that they may receive from other clergy! Allow their ministry to grow even more & grant those who mock them the grace of repentance!!

An Arrogant Atheist!

After mass on Friday, I was once again guided to a particular coffee shop & no sooner did I sit down than a man began to talk to me!

‘I’m Jewish but I’m actually an atheist & I am here waiting for my  ex-boyfriend!’

Listening, I translated what he said into:

I have issues with religion.
I’m not really an atheist as being Jewish is still very important to me.
I’m gay & have big issues with my ex!
I was definitely going to need coffee for this one!

‘I’m gay too’, I said!

‘Yes, I knew that as soon as you sat down!’

‘Great, I didn’t realise I was such a screaming queen’, I joked while telling him that I’m a Catholic & had just been to Church.

‘Well, I have a very scientific mind, and I KNOW that there is no God!’

His tone was slightly aggressive & he didn’t even seem open to listening to why I, & millions of others believe in God.

Rightly or wrongly, I confronted him & said:

‘That’s a very arrogant thing to say, of course you are entitled to believe that but you must respect others like me who believe in God & not take us as imbeciles!’

The conversation switched now to his ex & this was no easier as he proceeded to tell me of a 5 year ‘open relationship with rules’!

The  ‘rules’ made learning Japanese sound easy & I began to understand why his partner Brooke up with him!

He then launched into a big psychoanalysis of his partner & much like the atheist comment, he was right & everyone else was wrong.

I was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable & could feel that I was dealing with one very complicated individual with a lot of issues & a big fat ego!

I began telling him about inner-healing & he wasn’t having any of it as he turned on me & said:

‘You called me arrogant & you said this & you said that…’

At this point, I knew that the best thing to do was to end the conversation. He wanted & argument & I wasn’t entering into the battlefield!!

‘I didn’t call you arrogant, I said that what you said was arrogant but listen, I’m getting very bad vibes now & I just want to have my coffee in peace so let’s just leave the conversation at that & I wish you a good day!’

He agreed until half a minute later, he wanted to send me something on his phone. Fortunately, his ex arrived & they both left!!

Afterwards, I considered how Jesus had taught me an important lesson for evangelisation, that sometimes you have to be very firm & walk away from a situation or a person. Jesus didn’t spend endless time talking with the Pharisees & sometimes he rebuked them terribly but even this was an act of love because their pride & arrogance needed to be broken.

‘Lord, help us to be strong when we are faced with very difficult people. Teach us what to say & also teach us when we should simply walk away & pray!’

Evangelisation & Small Talk

Yesterday, at St. Mary of the Angels, Mgr. Keith gave us a great homily, one particularly relevant to evangelisation.

It was the feast of a former Pope, St. Gregory, who before becoming Pope, was a benedictin monk.

He loved the silence of the monastery & how he didn’t have to mix in the world, making idle talk with lots of people…..until he became the Pope that is!!

As Pope, he had to meet countless people & he had to make an effort to talk to them & at times, engage in fairly superficial conversation.

He remarked that he was now doing all the things that he formerly hated !!

However, there was a difference, he was doing them with a heart of love, seeking to bring people to Jesus through his gentleness & presence.

Fr. Keith then remarked how many of us would love to live in a monastery, away from everyone, we might like to have no Facebook or Instagram & not to have to engage in mundane conversation like how the weather is or what soccer team is playing at the weekend and yet, often Jesus is asking us to do exactly that.

Jesus, who became fully human, invites us to be fully human too in a holy way & then through our example & accessibility, to make holiness attractive to others.

This can demand enormous sacrifices from us as we meet people talking perhaps with vulgar language or telling us about things that are quite disturbing & yet, this is how to love people & without loving them, we can’t really evangelise.

In many ways, we need to be like ‘monks in the world’, where our cell is our inner sanctuary with Jesus & our parish, is the world all around us & not just a selef

Lord, through the intercession of St. Gregory, help us to be outward focused, help us to love others & to make those daily sacrifices that allow friendships & connections to build with ordinary people, even if it means talking about things at times that are really of very little interest to us!

Are Camp men Real men?!

‘Effeminate or ‘camp’ gay men have less testosterone than ‘normal’ men’

Was the argument that one man tried to say to a friend of mine, not knowing that she is a medical doctor!

As she told me about the incident the other night at the Admiral Duncan, we both felt sad & frustrated at the level of ignorance out there.

‘If that was the case, these gay men could be treated with testosterone & then potentially be straight’

She argued as she explained to him that effeminate gay men do not produce less testosterone & that just because they may behave a little more camp, doesn’t make them any less of a man than a butch rugby player!

The man however was not convinced as she explained to me how he was very attached to his theory!

Sad we both thought & yet the common challenge for us all when we are attached to a theory or a belief system that simply isn’t true!

In reality, maybe some of these camp men know more about being a man than any other men. Often, from the earliest of ages they have been called the most horrible names from the school yards to the streets & even in our churches.

They have needed to find the strength to continue, the strength to live in environments where they have been constantly mocked & judged & often to do this with minimal support!

Jesus, help us never to judge or to mock those people in the gay community that seem ‘more gay’ or more ‘camp’ than others.

Help us to love each soul & to bring healing to those who have experienced extreme rejection or  extreme judgement.

Help us to create a loving & inclusive Church where all indeed are welcome & are respected!

All the Naked Women!

After mass yesterday, an elderly man called me aside & a little distressed said:

‘So many naked women, there are boobs everywhere, it’s immoral!!’

Of course he was referring to the Notting Hill Carnival & the scantily dressed men & women.

This particular gentleman takes his faith seriously & obviously felt tempted by lust as he saw many beautiful women with little on.

‘You better stay inside’, I smiled at him, amused that even at eighty, he was still struggling.

‘Yes’, he joked while adding

‘With binoculars!’

Walking away, the incident got me thinking of how our dress & behaviour can affect others & the challenge nowadays of dressing & looking well without sexualising it.

Of course, some people may find us sexually attractive even when we are perfectly dressed & giving out no such signals & in those cases, we need firm boundaries & those people need to mature.

Yet, there are other situations when we need to adjust out of respect & charity for the struggles of others.

Finally, the incident reminded me of an old joke! A woman, tormented by her husband’s sexual drive, asked the priest when it will stop?

‘Six months after his death’, the priest replied !!

So on that note, may we strive to promote holiness & wholeness in all we say & do & in how we dress & may we learn to love & appreciate the beauty of the human body & put our binoculars away!!

A Gay-friendly Future

The Notting Hill Carnival began yesterday & I did what many other locals do, I got as far away as possible!

The Holy Spirit first sent me to an LGBT inclusive Church at Waterloo where I must say, I was blown away with the welcome & vulnerability.

The service began in their coffee shop where all gathered around the pastor as she delivered a really good talk on Peter denying Jesus & yet ultimately, good coming out of it.

We then sat around in small groups with a question similar for us, when was our faith challenged & what happened.

It was wonderful to see how vulnerable everyone was. One man mentioned that when he was younger, he had a gay housemate & this really challenged him, especially as he came from an evangelical background.

‘How could God reject his housemate or indeed all gay people?’

It didn’t add up.

Another was gay himself & vulnerably told us a similar story; an evangelical background & so getting married & hiding his orientation until all went bust with his wife finding out & the harrowing pain & shame that almost drove him to suicide.

What struck me was that while one of the men was straight & the other gay, both had eventually come closer to God through the pain & confusion of the gay dilemma & that, gay & straight, we could all sit around the same table & talk openly & vulnerably.

In many cases, when LGBT come to Church, they hide a lot of themselves as they don’t feel safe. It might take them years for example to tell others that they have a partner or kids for example because of the fear of rejection & the lack of inclusivity.

As we got chatting afterwards, I told the pastors about my own ministry & how ironically, I am quite involved with St. George’s Catholic Cathedral which is literally only a few hundred metres away!

‘We do work with them’, they told me as they mentioned an initiative they do on a Friday morning!

How wonderful I thought as I could see the Holy Spirit at work, building bridges & perhaps preparing the way for even more collaboration for ministry to the LGBT community.

The day continued with more lively conversation over lunch & finally a bit of karaoke in the evening after Mass in Soho.

Perhaps the main message of the day was that sometimes the issues that we are trying to avoid, like LGBT, are actually opportunities given to us by God to get to know Him more, to get to love Him more & to enter into an even deeper understanding of who He is & how He loves each & every person in the human race in an individual & special way, tailored to who they are & what they need.

‘Lord, help our Catholic Church to be LGBT inclusive & that nobody feels that they must hide parts of who they are or how they live in order to fit in.’

The Saint who Loved Sin!

Yesterday was the feast of St. Augustine, one of many saints in the Catholic Church who loved the pleasures of the world, especially sex, before experiencing God’s love!

As the priest spoke about him during the homily at yesterday’s mass, he reminded us of the timeless nature of Augustine’s testimony that is as relevant today as it was over 1500 years ago.

As a young man, he explored all sorts of other philosophies & religions, loved sexual pleasure with woman & yet was seeking life’s deeper meaning & purpose!

Finally, he had an experience of God’s love & from this experience, he became a Catholic.

It wasn’t all plain sailing & he didn’t suddenly become Holy overnight! One of hid famous quotations was:

‘God, grant me thr grace of chastity…but not yet!!’

His story is so relevant to us today, especially in our very sexual world whether gay or straight.

Firstly, it reminds us that people really need to experience God’s love for themselves to come to believe & this is why in Medjugorje, Our Lady says:

‘Pray for those who have not yet experienced God’s love!”

Without an experience, it’s almost impossible to come to believe in Jesus because there are so many different theories & alternative explanations out there!

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly for us today, Augustine’s testimony shows that one can believe in Jesus after an experience & yet still struggle with a vice, lust in Augustine’s case.

This is so important today because so many people struggle with sexual addictions & others at times shame them & blame them as if somehow they could stop if they tried harder!

Augustine realised that it wasn’t about trying harder but that it was about a deeper experience with God & a special grace!

Again, this is why in Medjugorje, things like regular prayer, mass, confession & fasting are recommended because these are what we call ‘channels of grace’ & while sometimes people get extraordinary graces to change their lives overnight, often people get smaller graces which may seem imperceptible but yet over the period of months & years, lead to enormous changes.

And so, what a blessing we have in Saint Augustine to remind us of God’s love & patience & that above all, everything is about grace!

May we be thirsty for grace through prayer, healing Retreats & above all, by humbly & honestly throwing our lives before God & asking Him to transform us & transform the mess that we may have made into something beautiful!

St. Augustine, pray for us & pray especially for everyone struggling with sexual addictions.

Is ‘Gay’ just for men?

Last night, I went to a dance class in Soho, primarily for LGBT people & friends. It’s always fun & a great way to meet some new people too.

Afterwards, we often go for a drink & have a chat & as it happened, I got talking to a super friendly woman who has just moved from Germany.

She asked me some questions that really got me thinking & opened up even more questions:

‘Is the word gay just used for men?’

‘What’s the difference between ‘queer’ & ‘gay’?”

‘How is pansexual different from bisexual?’

And the funny thing was, we both agreed that it was as confusing as hell!

Nowadays, ‘gay’ can be used for either a man or a woman, it’s sort of an umbrella term. ‘Queer’, which used to be an insult, is slightly broader, it basically covers anyone who’s not straight.

As for bisexual or pansexual, I honestly can’t really explain the difference. Both can be attracted to people of other genders but from what I understand, gender is less of an issue for the pansexual? 

Clear? Of course not, I still don’t understand it properly!!

As we talked, we both acknowledged how tricky many LGBT terms are to understand & so the need for patience when or if people make a mistake.

The conversation spilt over onto the transgender community & how easy it is to get someone’s pronouns wrong, especially if their appearance doesn’t match their gender identity and even more especially, if you have had a glass of wine!!

Fortunately, in my experience here in London, people are pretty forgiving, especially if you are friendly & they see that you genuinely made a mistake.

Still, I know other people who would be afraid to talk to LGBT people in case they made a clumsy mistake & got their heads chewed off!

As we concluded, we agreed about the need for people from different communities to talk to each other calmly, to explain different terms & concepts & above all, to be patient & forgiving as change takes time & some things are pretty confusing even for us LGBT people not to mention for those with little experience with the LGBT community!!

‘Lord, give us loving, patient & merciful hearts that build bridges of love & understanding & tear down hurts & prejudices!’

I’m Gay Too

‘The best form of flattery is imitation’ & so how happy was I when yesterday I received a message from a beautiful lady that I met in Krakow to tell me of an encounter she had at the airport!

She got talking to this stranger from Sweden & she mentioned the Divine Mercy Congregation & also how she met me there & my outreach ministry to the LGBT community.

Sure enough, the guy opened up & told her that he too was gay & that last year, he was in Lourdes with his boyfriend where they immersed themselves in Holy water & took more home!

I could feel the lady’s joy as she messaged me & how touched she was that this man opened up to her.

However, her message wasn’t all positive as she mentioned that some of those travelling with her got frustrated with her for talking to strangers!!

It’s funny isn’t it how some can do a retreat on mercy & yet have no desire to reach out to others, something that happens when people become too self-focused & fail to understand the communal dimension of healing!

Personally, I’m glad that this lady is so brave because it was thanks to her that I met all those at the retreat in Poland & even got dinner!

And so, once again, a call from Jesus for us to be generous with grace & to reach out in love to those all around us, whether on the train or at the airport or wherever because many of these people may be in desperate need of some love, encouragement & prayer!

Jesus, I trust in you!

No Thanks!!

Yesterday at the gym, a lady noticed me doing one of my funny exercises & she said to me:

‘Can you do that again? I found it very calming as I watched you’.

Flattered & glad she couldn’t see the stress inside my head, I thanked her.

‘Were you a gymnast as a child?’ , she inquired as I began to tell her about inner healing & how as God healed me, I have become more sporty & flexible.

‘I need healing, I have a lot of fear.’, she humbly said.

‘What should I do?’

Suddenly, I remember that I had a divine mercy magnet from Krakow with me & I showed it to her & explained.

‘This is Jesus, He’s God & He appeared to a mystic with this image & words & promised to help anyone who prayed it with His supernatural powers.’

I was quite pleased with my explanation which wasn’t overly religious, nor did it make Jesus sound like superman!

‘Would you like it?’, I asked, conscious that it was quite a bit to take in.

‘No thanks’, she replied firmly but still open to conversation.

‘Where do you meet?’

So, I told her about the healing masses at the Cathedral & she seemed very interested!

As I parted, I reflected on God’s patience & considered all times when I was younger that someone may have given me a religious item such as a rosary & I too may have said ‘no thanks!’.

Yet, Jesus was waiting & He knows the ‘moment of grace’ for each one of us when suddenly our ‘no thanks’ turns into a big ‘yes please!’.

May we continue to pray & intercede for these people even if they don’t respond as quickly as we might like. Seeds are been sown nonetheless!!

The Found Sheep

Back in London from an outstanding few days in Poland & the Holy Spirit sent me to Hillsong yesterday where the praise, worship & talk were heavenly anointed!

The pastor spoke about the lost sheep & the good Shepherd who left the 99 to find the one. 

She powerfully reminded us that we are all members of the flock & even the lost sheep, although lost, are still members of the flock!

She then challenged us! When do we become an obstacle to the lost sheep coming back to the fold? When does our religiosity & pride hurt others because they look different to us?

As she spoke, I thought of my own ministry & life, the countless times I was asked to leave religious environments, being put out of Paray le Monial, the police being called on me in Medjugorje etc… ..all because I didn’t look like the other sheep (the straight sheep!!!)

It was wonderful to hear such an anointed & challenging sermon but, a sermon is no good if we don’t put it into words & so I prayed my usual prayer:

‘Lord, lead me!’

An hour later, I found myself having a coffee in ‘Pret’ when this lady, who seemed very agitated began cleaning all the tables around her.

She noticed me looking & perhaps felt that I was judging her. I smiled & said:

‘You are doing a great job, if only everyone was like you!’

The conversation started & it wasn’t long before she was telling me of her Dad sexually abusing her at 11, her countless suicide attempts & yet her love for life!

Rachel was definitely a lost sheep & so I began gently telling her about my life, living in a Church, difficult family & she was so touched. People relate to honesty & vulnerability.

‘Can I visit your Church?’, she asked & of course I said yes while conscious that she really needed a lot of inner-healing ministry which our Church in Notting Hill doesn’t have at the moment.

‘Come to St. George’s Cathedral!’, I said, ‘there is a lot of healing ministry there!’

She skipped out of the coffee shop & my next stop was the gym where I bumped into Ricardo.

Ricardo is gay, a very gifted person in so many areas & he has entered a pageant, representing his area of the Philippines.

Although a performer, he was telling me how nervous he is & asked me what I do when I’m nervous!

‘I go into the Church, I find a quiet spot where I talk to Jesus & have a good cry!’

‘I was going to go to Church today and you know what, I’m going to go tomorrow & do that!’

As I cycled home, I prayed for both Rachel & Ricardo, delighted that once again, God had used me to bring a bit of love & mercy to some of His beloved sheep, estranged from the main flock!

May we be open this week to being the hands & feet of Jesus, gently reminding lost sheep that they are still a part of the flock!

Crashing a Silent Retreat !!

Just when I thought that God couldn’t surprise me anymore, He gave me an even bigger surprise yesterday!!

After morning mass in Krakow followed by the gym, the Holy Spirit called me back to the Divine Mercy centre.

I arrived about 1pm & I heard Jesus say ‘you should be more sociable today’ as on Wednesday, He told me to stay quiet.

Hungry after the gym, I went to the restaurant & there was this lovely American lady in the line behind me. I said hello & before you know it, we were sitting down & talking about Jesus & life as we ate lunch. Ironically, she was on a silent retreat but as we were talking about Jesus, we both figured He wouldn’t mind!

The time flew by & soon it was 3pm, the hour of mercy in the chapel. It was packed & the feeling of the supernatural in the chapel was palpable.

Afterwards, I wandered about & to be honest, I got a bit lost. I found myself in a different chapel which was empty besides a lady with her son & another woman in the corner.

As they were chatting, I looked over & shortly afterwards, they walked out. However, as she walked past me, the lady stared really intentionally at me & then suddenly said:

‘Michael!!’

Initially, I had no clue who she was & then suddenly I remembered! We had a wonderful chat as she explained that she too was doing the silent retreat!

She was so kind & she insisted that I join the retreatants for dinner at 6pm & I knew in my heart that Jesus was saying yes!

6pm soon arrived & before you know it, I was having dinner & whispering to everyone!! We were like the naughty kids in school down the back and wouldn’t you guess, the lovely American lady happened to be at the same table too!

Everyone was so welcoming as I began talking to them about Jesus’ mercy for the LGBT community. The man on my left was an anaesthetist from Switzerland & he had particularly interesting stories of trans men giving birth where the mother was the biological father & the father was the biological mother!

Then the priest leading the retreat arrived & instead of scolding us for chatting, he sat down to chat with us! He was especially open & understanding to the LGBT Ministry, the desperate need for it & Jesus’ mercy for everybody!

Soon after, we had 45 minutes of adoration after which I got talking even more with the priest & my friend & her son. I shared much of my testimony & it was so moving to speak of God’s love for LGBT people on the very grounds of the Divine Mercy Congregation where St. Faustina would have lived & walked  about!

It was like heaven was meeting earth as we spoke of Jesus’ infinite & boundless love for everybody & to top it all off, although the priest was Polish, he is also a priest in London’s Westminster diocese!

Soon, my Uber for the airport arrived & as I hopped into the car, I sensed that something very special had just happened & that the merciful heart of Jesus was opening VERY wide for those struggling & hurting souls in the LGBT community & more.

As I waited for my flight, I sat quietly reflecting on my life & the words of a song came to me:

‘I set out on a narrow way, many years ago, hoping to find true love, along the broken road’

And I most certainly did find true love & so will many others! His name is Jesus 

What an amazing day & a massive thanks to everyone for making me so welcome & loved on the ‘silent’ retreat!!

Jesus, I trust in you!!

E- VAN- gelisation!!

Yesterday, I really had an extraordinary day of evangelisation! It all began when at 2pm when I was due to join a tour to Auschwitz.

Gathering at the designated bus stop, there was a group of about ten Italians with very little English!

‘God help me’, I thought as we waited on the bus.

Finally, the bus arrived. It was more like a minivan & out hopped a handsome young polish man who quickly told me to sit inside with all the Italians!

Suddenly, more Italians arrived & so that they  could all sit together, he asked me to sit up front. He didn’t have to ask twice as I rushed to get away from little Italy.

As the bus set off, I noticed that he had an accent from Dublin when he spoke english & I was right. He explained that he grew up in Ireland & that of course opened wide the door for the next 2 hours of conversation.

Before you know it, he was telling me about his life & struggles, his different girlfriends & breakups, his friend who’s in rehab who may be secretly gay….

It went on & on & on like a free counselling session!!

I then told him about my life & story, about the Holy Spirit & demons, about Medjugorje & LGBT evangelisation.

He was absolutely fascinated & told me that his mother had been to Medjugorje only last month for the first time!!

I told him about St. Faustina & the Divine Mercy Congregation in Krakow which he had never heard of &, I urged him to go as I explained how powerful prayer from places such as this can be.

Of course, another advantage was that the Italians had little English so effectively, I had pretty much a private guide who was able to tell me all sorts of interesting facts about Auschwitz & Poland in general, all in a thick Dublin accent which was fantastic.

The tour itself was brilliant as he didn’t bore us with too many details. I put a little video on YouTube if you want to know more:

https://youtu.be/qROjqt5Si_U?is=Jaju86GVazmOxffl

On the return journey, our conversation shifted towards the Church & various questions like how England became protestant, what’s the difference between being Christian & being Catholic, the apparitions of Medjugorje & his own life plans for the future.

Although not a regular church-goer, his heart was so open & as we parted ways, I thanked God for such an extraordinary day of evangelisation & for this young man.

‘Lord, we pray for all young people out there, many bursting with questions & searching for healing & meaning to their lives. Help us to be your hands & feet, reaching out in new ways with mercy, love & hope

Mercy BOOMS!!

I woke up early yesterday with a plan; to get a coffee & then go directly to the ‘Congregation of Divine Mercy’ which was a short bus ride away.

Sitting down for my coffee at about 8am, suddenly a group of four french people came in & as I was feeling rather sociable, I said hello!

They were delighted to meet this french speaking Irish chap & although in their sixties, reminded me of a group of teenagers who had left home for the first time!!

They asked me what I was doing yesterday & so they had fallen right into the trap of evangelisation!!

As soon as I opened my mouth about Jesus & the divine mercy, BOOM, one of the ladies dropped a big plate & it smashed all over the place.

‘If I had a pound for every time this happens’, I thought as I remembered meeting Séamus for the first time & telling him that nearly every time I go into a coffee shop & talk about Jesus, glasses break, plates fall & sometimes there have even been power cuts!’

The secret is to take no notice at all & to simply continue & so I spent the next thirty minutes telling them all about Jesus & my life story & the divine mercy. They loved it & even invited me to visit them in France. I could tell that they weren’t practicing Catholics but they certainly had very open & good hearts!

Making my way onto the bus, I was surprised to meet the world’s most friendly bus driver! So friendly that I thought he was going to stop the bus & come with me to the Divine Mercy centre!!

The centre itself was amazing. It was very quiet at this early hour in the morning & sitting in the chapel of St. Faustina proved to be a very emotional experience for me. I’ve read about her & asked her to help me for twenty years, especially in the worst moments of my life when hope was all but gone & so to sit there, reflecting on it all was very special.

Arriving back home, I suddenly realised that I hadn’t booked my ticket to Auschwitz & to my horror, it was all but fully booked except for one slot costing over £100.

I’ve never been a museum person & so I was disappointed that it wasn’t possible to just go & browse about at one’s own pace & so, the thought of paying £100 for something I didn’t even want horrified me.

So I did what any human being would do! I called on my mother, Our Lady, to help me!

‘Trust’, I heard her say & then ‘look it up in french’.

Sure enough I did & you’ll never guess, I found this ‘alternative tour of Auschwitz’ that goes to different areas & doesn’t go to the museum at all….and for £40!

I felt Our Lady laughing at me. They always guide me on the ‘alternative route’ & so, that’s the plan for today. I’m sure it’ll be a great opportunity to do even more evangelisation as I meet others in the group!!

Finally, after a quick session at the gym, I went to a ‘traditional polish folk’ evening & it was amazing!

The Polish people that I’ve met so far are so very kind, friendly & fun & after a day of prayer, it was so beautiful to see some of their local culture & experience their traditional foods.

Prayers for everyone & let’s remember, the love, mercy & goodness of Jesus have no limits!!

Jesus, we trust in you!

From Death to Life!

Yesterday, I went to Kracov in Poland, for no other reason than that of the Lord Himself telling me to come here in prayer.

He has put two main things on my heart. Firstly, to visit the shrine of the Divine Mercy because it’s here in Kracov where St. Faustina lived & received her revelations. There is now a great basilica at her former convent. Such is usually the case with the saints who were tortured while alive & loved when dead!!

The second place that I will visit is Auschwitz, the concentration camp where over 1 million people were killed during world war II & no doubt, the resting grounds of countless saints who were unjustly killed.

However, before all that, evangelisation continues & I was amazed before going how when I spoke about visiting Auschwitz, so many people suddenly opened up their ‘spiritual & deep side’.

From a gay Jewish friend of mine at the bar to another gay French man at the gym to a priest friend of mine & to the girl sitting beside me on the plane … .everyone had something to say about Auschwitz regardless of religion etc.

There is something about death & about suffering that brings all human beings back  to basics & back to a common reality & I was very touched how people who might normally be joking with me, suddenly showed another side of themselves.

It’s perhaps also a reminder of why God allows suffering because most of us, & certainly me, had no great interest in God until great suffering entered our lives & we suddenly needed Him.

And yet, that also is the message of the Divine Mercy where I’m going today!

No matter who you are, how long you have been away from God or what you have done or what perhaps has been done to you, Jesus is there saying:

‘I love you, trust in my mercy to heal your life!!’

The ‘Rug-Doctor’!!

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me to help clean a very dirty rug in his house.

I jumped on the internet & we rented a special carpet cleaning machine called a ‘rug doctor’ & we got to work.

Filling the machine with water & the cleaning product & watching it do its work, I couldn’t help thinking of our souls & how Jesus cleans them!

My first observation was that the rug wouldn’t have been anything so dirty & difficult  to clean had it been cleaned regularly. As it was, the rug hadn’t been cleaned for years & the stains & dirt were literally embedded into it.

In Medjugorje, Our Lady calls us to going to monthly confession for this very same reason.

Second observation! The rug was so dirty that one could think that its true colour was actually darker!!

If we get so used to bad habits, after a while we too can say ‘that’s how I am’ rather than realising that it’s actually how we have become!!

Thirdly, as I emptied the dirty water tank several times, it was astonishing how black the water was. It was literally like muck & it just kept coming & coming despite the rug still not looking very clean!

How often do we go to confession & we feel that not much has happened when in fact in God’s eyes, buckets of the effects of sin have been washed off us!!

Next were the very difficult stains which we simply could not remove in one afternoon.

These reminded me of our very deep inner wounds. We know they are there, they are obvious to us & everyone & yet there is no quick fix. We need time, patience & perseverance & even at that, something stains may be only fully purified in purgatory & that’s not to talk about the more serious things like the cigarette burns etc.

Perhaps though, the most important lesson that I learnt from all this was of God’s patience.

You see, if we were to wash the rug constantly for say a week, we might make it cleaner but in the process, we’d surely destroy the material.

God does the same with us! He goes step by step, wound by wound, day by day, year by year…it’s the project of a lifetime & thus the importance of being on the journey of healing, prayer & persevering, no matter how slow the progress appears.

Our Lady of Medjugorje recommends five stones to help us:

– Daily prayer
– Regular Confession
– Adoration of the Eucharist
– Bible Meditation
– Fasting

All of these practices allow Jesus, the ‘soul doctor’ to clean our souls so that in eternity, we may shine like a majestic royal rug & the name of Jesus will be praised for ever more!!

We are People, not Numbers!

Yesterday was the feast of a very well known Polish Catholic Saint, Maximilian Kolbe. How appropriate that the Holy Spirit would lead me to the Divine Mercy Apostolate in London’s Ealing, where a Polish priest was celebrating the mass!

During the Homily, the priest reminded us of the saint’s death. He was a Catholic priest & was imprisoned in Auschwitz where he voluntarily gave up his life so that someone else would not be killed.

In the camp, the priest explained, each prisoner was given a number & holding up a piece of paper with ‘16770’ written in green, he said:

‘This was his!’

The priest continued to explain that although we may have various different numbers, ultimately we are human beings with names as a ripped the paper into pieces.

Although he didn’t mention it, it reminded me of Pope Leo’s message about Artificial Intelligence & how we are more than just numbers or data for an algorithm but rather we are people, each special & individual, uniquely loved by God.

Of course, next week I’ll actually be in Poland & get to visit Auschwitz myself, so today’s homily was a welcome reminder & ‘appetiser’ before the trip!

St. Maximilium Kolbe, pray for us, that we too may be generous with our lives in helping others & may we always remember, we are people & not numbers!

Michael, You & I are going to Hell!

Evangelisation is full of meeting all sorts of people & often people who have committed quite serious sins in their lives.

One is a friend of mine who had about 5 abortions when she was younger & now lives with terrible fear & guilt.

Now, Catholic theology is all about love & mercy & putting sins in their context so for example, a young girl forced to have an abortion by her family is in a very different situation to someone who knowingly & willfully aborts just because it’s not convenient.

Unfortunately however, most Catholics aren’t really educated when it comes to these nuances & so what they understand is that they committed the act & so they take all the guilt!

And so, there I was yesterday minding my own business when suddenly I got a message in french:

‘Tu sais Michael j’ai peur qu’ on va aller en enfer toi et moi . Nos péchés sont monstrous’

Which translates into:

‘You know, Michael, I’m afraid that you and I are going to go to hell. Our sins are monstrous.’

Accompanied by her message were a few extreme videos from YouTube about how awful certain sins are, presumably homosexual acts & abortion from her message!!!

Now, to be honest, her message didn’t bother me personally but I did feel a lot of love & compassion for her because she is tormented & many of these YouTube videos from so called famous priests often seem to frighten & traumatise people rather than restore & edify them.

Indeed, earlier that day another man told me that he heard on YouTube that:

‘Padre Pio said you should never clap your hands at mass!’

That means that all us charismatics are in trouble!!

The same man mentioned having to block someone else who sends many YouTube videos because they were full of fear, half truths & left him feeling sick!!

Going back to my friend, I did my best to reassure her of God’s love for her & forgiveness & not to allow herself to be tormented by her past but it’s easier said than done.

Many of these people live alone & out of boredom go onto YouTube where they get retraumatised  & so once again, it’s a reminder to us to reach out to others, to help build them up & if we do send them something to watch from YouTube or whatever, let’s be sure it’s something saturated in God’s love & mercy & hope!

God’s Loves Us Unconditionally

What an amazing day I had yesterday with the Lord! I was prompted to go to Westminster Cathedral for confession & the blessings started with the kindest priest saying:

‘Well done brother, it’s all by grace & not by being good & so by coming here, you are making Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross worthwhile!’

What a powerful reminder that Jesus delights in helping us & all we have to do is keep coming for more.

‘And also, mother Mary loves you because she sees how special you are to Jesus!’

I was feeling tearful at this stage as my faults & failings were being obliterated by love & encouragement!!

After lunch, I was guided back to the Church where I sat in the chapel for the souls in purgatory. I often pray a rosary there for the Holy Souls.

About half way through, a Cathedral guide dressed in red came to show some tourists the chapel & if I’m honest, it was quite irritating as I was deep in prayer!

That said, I learnt a few things about the chapel & its design and as the tourists were leaving, I smiled to the guide & said:

‘You forgot to tell them about these two living stones (an old lady & I) praying the rosary!!

He smiled & I think I made my point, Cathedrals are living places of prayer & not galleries from the past!

Finishing my rosary, I went outside & there was Paddy, a beautiful man full of love for Jesus with a very difficult life story.

He committed a murder years ago while very mentally unwell & has spent his life in & out of the psychiatric hospital.

‘They kicked me out of the Cathedral because when King Charles was made king, I shouted ‘We only have one king, Jesus.’

He was so happy that I stopped to say hello as he spoke about God’s unconditional love for everybody & his own mental health struggles.

Honestly, it was like talking to Jesus at the door.

‘I sleep outside Michael, I have a place but I prefer to be outside & among the people than looking at four walls staring at me.’

What a powerful reminder of the need for community & love & how we all must help one another!

‘I have to go now’, I said & he immediately asked me to say a prayer for him.

‘Prayer works, even the scientists are recognising it, there is power in what we say!’

As I cycled home, I thanked God for such an extraordinary meeting & for the gift of knowing Paddy.

Jesus, help us to meet you & see you through the Paddy’s of this world. Grant us the grace to look beyond human appearances & past mistakes to meet you in these living tabernacles remembering that while the tourists were admiring the art, the real masterpiece was sitting outside!’

I Don’t Believe in the Devil

Yesterday was one of those days that evangelisation went into overdrive with so many different opportunities to share!

It started off in Finchley where I volunteered to participate in some market research project for a small payment to help with the bills.

I was in a group of 7 & we were asked questions regarding people with disabilities. However, before all that, we all had to introduce ourselves & so it was ‘in at the deep end’ as I announced that I live in a Catholic Church & am very involved in the healing ministry.

Who knows what the others thought but there was no noticeable negativity!

As the session went on, we were asked to comment on the discrimination that people with disabilities experience & if we could relate & of course this was the ideal moment to out myself as a gay Catholic & to talk of some of the difficulties & prejudices that LGBT people can face even in Church circles & while, being gay isn’t a disability, it can sure feel like it at times!!

The group listened attentively & I can only hope that it made some of them reflect & who knows, perhaps some could relate directly.

Sometimes, evangelisation is about simply sharing our story & leaving the rest to the Lord.

As the hour came to a close, I prayed for those who face these types of challenges every day in their workplaces & business meetings, sharing their faith & views & risking a backlash.

Not long after returning home, it was time for dinner at the Church house & although one might think that no evangelisation is needed  here, it’s not quite the case!

Somehow, somebody mentioned the devil & an old elderly priest gleamed:

“I don’t believe in the devil”

Years ago, I might have entered into a conversation about this but experience has taught me that in some cases, one is best advised to stay silent & pray.

This however was not the strategy of another housemate who began telling the priest of every demonic experience he ever had!!

The more he spoke, the more I could see the priest was becoming less & less convinced! To people who don’t believe in such matters, direct experiences sound like madness!!

Of course, the same priest does not believe in the resurrection of the body either so I wasn’t exactly surprised.

Later that evening as I was praying, I felt a heavy burden to pray for priests because if the priests don’t believe then how on earth will anyone else come to believe, not to mention receive inner-healing & fe

And so to summarise, we go out to evangelise but sometimes, the greatest evangelisation is needed on the inside, in the heart of our church with our priests.

‘Lord, help us to walk that very fine line of sharing our faith, respecting people’s freedom & beliefs & not getting discouraged when even our priests let us down at times’

Thank You so Much!

Last night, I went to Karaoke for the first time in quite a while & it was such a positive experience!

Firstly, so many people came to say hello, ask if I was ok & then ask after Séamus. It was really a feeling of not only being known, but being cared for, much like at a charismatic church.

As the drag queen passed by, I told her about Séamus doing drag in Northern Ireland & then a group of priests calling him in afterwards to ask him questions etc.

‘Well, at least they are asking & good on  Séamus for stepping out & persevering’, she replied with genuine concern & understanding of the situation.

Suddenly, an older man who looks after his partner who is unwell rushed up to me shouting:

‘Thank you so much for the Holy Water that you gave me in May. You have no idea how much that meant to me & I put it beside my bed as I sleep!’

‘Wow’, I thought, trying to remember giving it to him & amazed by his enthusiasm.

Next was a friend who I had previously given an Our Lady statue to:

‘Michael, would you be able to get me another statue?’

‘Of course’, I replied, feeling now like a ‘Holy drug dealer’ except that instead of cocaïne & meth, I had Holy water & statues!!

Many others came to say hello, some shared their struggles & in between all that, I sang two songs.

First was ‘I dreamed a dream’, made famous by Susan Boyle & a song that gave me hope when I lived in India & felt lonely!

Next was ‘L’ hymne à l’amour’ (a song to love), sung by Edith Piaff when the love of her life died & she was consoled with the faith that they would be reunited in Eternity.

All in all, a great night & in so many ways, similar to the Church environment where people sing, share, support eachother & have a little fun to unwind from the stresses of life.

God bless all the members of the gay community all over the world who perhaps need someone like you to give them a little Holy water or a Holy medal & remind them that God hasn’t forgotten them!

This is my penance

This weekend has had no shortage of wonderful ‘Holy Spirit’ experiences!

Let’s start with Friday evening when I went to Slough where an Indian founded ministry ‘Divine Ministries UK’ runs a monthly healing service.

I arrived early & after praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament went down to the little shop where there are many religious items for a fraction of the price one pays elsewhere. I bought a pocket-sized new testament for £3 from a really nice girl who was complaining to her colleague that nobody was speaking her language, Tamil!

So how funny & surprised she was that I suddenly started speaking tamil!!

I spent 4 months in that region of India about 15 years ago & learnt a few words & it was so nice to see her face lighting up as the only white person in the building actually knew some of her language!!

Laughing at how the Holy Spirit works, I went for a coffee as there was at least another hour to wait for the service. I was guided very directly to a specific coffee shop with literally ‘go in there’ from the Holy Spirit.

It’s always sort of fun when this happens as it’s like going on a treasure hunt, knowing that I’m there for a special reason & yet, not knowing what the reason is.

Anyway, having my coffee, I overheard a group of young people & they were talking very loud. One was going on a retreat & the others were teasing her. I wondered if it was the same retreat…

Suddenly, the girl said something really loudly & then apologised to the whole coffee shop which of course was the ideal time for me to say something!

‘Sounds like you need that retreat’, I smiled as I pointed to my new pocket Bible & asked if she was going to the Divine retreat to which she said she was.

At this point, all her friends started getting interested & decided that they too would like to go & see what it was like.

It was funny how they had suddenly gone from teasing her to now wanting to go with her!!
The retreat itself was AMAZING & VERY POWERFUL, heaven for those of us who like the charismatic renewal & healing ministry & we all got so much healing.

After a nice sleep in, the next day I woke up where ‘a day with Mary’ was being hosted in our church. There was a lady outside in a wheelchair & some men asked me to help lift it in.

Despite there being four of us, the chair was so heavy that it was impossible but what really touched me was the lady in it & what she said:

‘It’s ok, I can see the mass from here, this is my penance!’

Such a simple & yet profoundly moving things to say as I considered how easily many of us complain when little things go wrong, not to mention being stuck outside the Church in a wheelchair!!

That lady was evangelising us all without even knowing it!

And so, as this week begins, that too is my prayer, that we will evangelise others just through our very presence & way of being & that many will come to know & be touched by Jesus through us & our witness!

Come Holy Spirit, fill us afresh with you !

The Mystery of the Mass

This morning while at mass in Notting Hill, I had a very moving experience during the service which sort of happened out of the blue.

It was the feast of the transfiguration, when Jesus went up the mountain with two of his apostles & they both say him in His glorified state.

As I gazed at the altar, suddenly I began to see the priest as Jesus on the cross, the two candles lighting on the altar were like Mary & John at the foot of the cross, the open book on the altar was like the last words of Jesus & the priest’s vestments were like Jesus’ immaculate skin.

As the mass continued, the insight continued with the chalice being like the sword that pierced Jesus heart, except it was now gathering his blood. The altar was like calvary & the tabernacle behind the priest was like the silent presence of the Father & the Holy Spirit.

After communion, as the priest sat down, everything was bare & I said to Jesus, where are you now? What about the resurrection?

Suddenly, like turning on a light, I had a vision of everyone in the congregation, including the priest & it hit me!

We are the resurrection, at least in a sense, at every mass. The living Jesus comes into our hearts & transforms us from the inside out & we walk out of the Church renewed & transformed in ways we have often no idea.

How unfathomable are the ways of God & what an immense gift & mystery, we live at every mass without even knowing it.

‘Lord, help us to love you more, to appreciate the gift of Holy Mass more & to allow you to transform us from the inside out so that we may go out & spread your love, your joy & your forgiveness.’

I think I know Him!

Life with the Holy Spirit is always full of surprises & confirmations & this last few days has been no exception.

A few weeks ago, while praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, I suddenly had a very strong vision of the Lord inviting Séamus to ‘Lough Derg’, a place of pilgrimage, penance & prayer in Ireland.

I told him about it & bang, the Holy Spirit convicted him to go. However, there was an issue, it was going to cost at least £100.

After a few days, I was praying once again & suddenly the idea came to me for Séamus to make a ‘Go-Fund’ me page to raise some money for the trip.

Money began to come & one particular group called ‘Irish Catholics’ sent Séamus the most horrific, abusive message, sad & yet another sign that old Satan wasn’t happy!

‘All publicity is good publicity’ as they say & this attack inspired even more people to help Séamus fund his trip.

Eventually Séamus went & would you believe, there was a group from Ennis in Ireland’s Co. Clare which of course happens to be my home county.

I lived in Ennis once where I made many very good friends during an exceptionally difficult period in my life & it was the love & support of some of them that brought me back to life & gave me the strength to keep on going.

And so, how amazing that Séamus was messaging me, telling me how loving & kind the people were & how open they were to ministry to the LGBT community.

Then, something even more funny happened. Séamus mentioned that there was a bishop there too & one day they got chatting!

Turns out that it was the Bishop of Killaloe (Clare) who was with the group & when Séamus mentioned our ministry, the Bishop remembered me & said:

‘I think I know him’

What a small world as I don’t know any of the Irish Bishops besides this one who I got to know through an article I wrote over a year ago in the local paper!

What a small world & how utterly amazing the way God can bring people together from different places & times  & also, what a powerful reminder to us to simply be obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit even when at times they may seem inconvenient or indeed impossible.

May we be like Mary saying: ‘Yes’ & then humbly asking ‘How will this be?’ for the parts we don’t understand!

God bless Ireland, God bless Séamus & God bless Ennis & all ot!

It Cost them Millions

On Sunday, the Holy Spirit sent me to explore an ‘Inclusive Church’ (ie: LGBT people welcome without hiding as they would usually do) in London.

Upon arrival, what struck me was how normal it was! Most of the people were probably not gay at all & had wives & families & then there was a group of gay people scattered among the rest.

Down front in the corner there was a good size ‘LGBT Welcome’ sign which clearly welcomed LGBT people, without making them the centre of attention.

As I observed, I smiled & thought how beautiful it was that LGBT people could just come to ‘regular church’ without feeling that they had to hide or without feeling the need for an ‘LGBT Only’ Church.

One of the founders gave an inspirational talk on justice & how often the system within organisations is like the ‘Old Wine’ & that one cannot put ‘new wine’ in old wineskin….. thus the difficulty of creating something new.

After the service, there was tea & coffee with some socialising & so I mingled a little! I was particularly welcomed by the gay men & so it was a good opportunity to find out more about the Church.

One of the guys explained that it wasn’t always LGBT friendly but that in 2013, the pastors realised that they couldn’t truly follow the gospel & yet, not proactively include LGBT people & provide for their specific needs & pastoral care.

The way he said it was so honest & humble & it was nice to see that they weren’t just a group of gay men but that they were a group of Christian men who happened to be gay.

Then, suddenly he said:

‘It cost them millions, literally, they lost millions in funding because of it!’

My heart sank as I thought of all the politics in the Catholic Church, the people who over the years stopped going to our Church because of us & how complicated the Church world can be.

My thoughts then fled back to the speaker’s closing comments as he explained that making ‘new wine’ doesn’t mean throwing out the old but rather having a place for both.

Clearly this Church was called by God to be inclusive & so ‘new’ in a way. This meant that many people left but they didn’t leave the Church, they just left that Church!

Are we prepared to be the ‘new wine’ & to do something new with the Lord even if it means losing some members/ friends & benefits in order to gain others?

Come Holy Spirit, grant us wisdom, discernment & courage to know your will & then to put into action come what may.

Death & the Journey of Healing

A few days ago, I was at a wonderful prayer meeting where a visiting priest was talking about Lourdes & healing.

As he spoke, he shared a very moving story of a young man who showed no interest in Church, then got serious cancer, went to Lourdes & died two days later.

With a large smile, the priest reminded us that death, rather than being contrary to healing, is actually the last step on our healing journey on earth, while he explained how this young man had a very holy death.

Getting cancer brought him back to Church, brought him to prayer & brought him to Lourdes where he spent several hours each day gazing at Our Lady in the grotto.

This young man had time to make peace with his situation, to make peace with God through the sacraments of the Church & to die a peaceful & prayerful death surrounded by his family & the Church.

The priest who accompanied him throughout it all was just so joyful as he once again reminded us that death is a part of the healing ministry although often, not the part we want!!

As usual, it was a call for us all to ‘go deeper’ & a reminder of the central importance of ‘inner healing’ or ‘spiritual healing’ because ultimately, this is the only healing that we will carry with us when we die.

We live in a society that focuses so much on life & talks so little about death & yet death is inevitable.

What a great reminder from this joyful priest that death is indeed part of the healing ministry & hence the importance for us all to be prepared to go at any time because God may call us when we least expect it!

A JOYFUL Priest!

Yesterday was Friday & so I went to the ‘Divine Mercy Apostolate’ in Ealing for mass & adoration. The usual priests were away & so there was a visiting priest from Poland with exuberant joy.

From the way he celebrated mass to how he smiled when he was on the altar, joy was exuding out of him!

However, at one point it overflowed & that’s when after the mass & Divine Mercy Chapelet, we had evening prayer & suddenly he spontaneously started preaching!

‘With joy & almost tears of love, he said:

‘This is my favourite prayer! I have many difficulties too as I can’t read without my glasses, English isn’t my first language, I have difficulties pronouncing the words BUT, smiling, THIS IS THE CHURCH’

A reminder to us all that the Church isn’t about being perfect & that the jot of it is found in being loved & used by God despite our imperfections.

After evening prayer finished, I thanked him & asked him where he was from.

‘Poland’, he responded as I told him that I will be visiting Poland for the first time in a few weeks.

Leaving, I thanked God for such a truly joyful priest, a priest with a love for prayer, for preaching, for the Gospel & for Jesus.

May we pray for priests & for those in formation to become priests, that like this man, that they be full to overflowing with the joy of the Gospel & that through their witness, many others may come to know & experience the love of our Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ!

He’s Still My Brother!

As I was returning home yesterday afternoon, I suddenly heard the Holy Spirit say ‘Go left’.

Left I went & there it was, a familiar bicycle outside Tesco of a friend who had been away for some weeks.

Strolling into Tesco to find him, I didn’t see him & so decided to get myself a meal deal, knowing that if God really wanted me to meet him, he’d pop up somehow!

I had just finished making my coffee when there he was, literally behind me, packing his bags!!

‘Hello there’, I smiled as I gave him a playful kick!

‘How are you?’, I jested.

‘Terrible’, he replied.

Suddenly, the Holy Spirit reminded me that he had recently been to his brother’s inquest after he died alone in prison.

‘How was the inquest’, I asked as he explained that he cried all the time.

Sadly, his brother was a paedophile & spent many years in  prison where nobody visited except him.

‘He’s still my brother’, he told me when he died, explaining that he was the only one at the funeral.

Parting ways, I promised to pray for him as I reflected on the situation & how Jesus sees us.

Despite all our sins & faults, Jesus smiles & says:

‘He is still my brother’ and just like this man with his brother, Jesus never abandons us.

Now don’t get me wrong, justice must be done too & people who have committed these crimes must be imprisoned & kept away from society for as long as they pose a threat, which in some cases, could be a lifetime.

Yet, we can still pray & hope that God will offer salvation to them too & that their souls will be purified of all evil tendencies & that one day we may all be reunited in heaven.

Whatever your situation, Jesus says:

‘You are still my brother!’

God-incidence!!

One of the things I have always enjoyed over the years is how God leads me! Ironically, it’s also what has got me into the most trouble!

It started almost 20 years ago when Jesus just told me to go to Toulon in France & since then, it has never stopped. Here is the latest one!!

As I was coming back from Barcelona, Jesus said ‘you will be going next to Kracov’ which of course is in Poland & is also the place where St. Faustina is buried.

Anyway, as I had a little money left from the generous donations I received to go to Barcelona, all that was left really was to book the trip & here is how that happened:

After mass today, I heard the Holy Spirit say

‘Get up, walk…..straight on….now right….keep going…there, stop there!’

I found myself right outside a random coffee shop & so in I went, planning on booking my trip.

I ordered some food & when the batista came down, I asked him where he was from..

‘I’m from Poland, Kracov!!’

I smiled outwardly at him & inwardly at Jesus!!

What humour, to lead me to an empty coffee shop with a young guy from Kracov waiting on me as I was booking my trip!!!’

I told him about my plans to visit Kracov & so he began giving me some advice, really encouraging me to visit Aushwitz, the Jewish concentration camp which he said was very emotional.

I asked him if he knew of St. Faustina & the Divine Mercy Shrine & he didn’t so I began explaining just a little!!

Thirty minutes later, flights & accommodation were booked as I felt the overwhelming joy of the Holy Spirit & awe at His ways which even after 20 years, never cease to amaze me.

May we all learn as much as we can about the Holy Spirit, may we learn to hear His voice, follow His promptings & be docile instruments of His love & power in today’s world that so desperately needs God!

The Madness of God!

Over the last few days, I have had a number of fascinating conversations with total strangers & it served as a real reminder that spirituality is in the air!!

The first was on Wednesday morning at about 11am. I was sitting having a coffee before an exam at 12 & suddenly this lady sat a few seats away from me.

As a distraction from pre-exam nerves,  I made some small comment & before you know it, we got chatting. As her English wasn’t fantastic, we switched to her native French & she was fascinated that I was studying theology & the outreach ministry to the LGBT community.

She quickly explained to me that she had many gay friends & asked me what I thought about gay men marrying women, something that happens at times when some get sick of the gay scene & feel like settling down. Now just to be clear, they don’t suddenly turn straight & usually the woman knows & so the marriage is more like a deep friendship than anything else. 

Of course these things are complicated but it was wonderful to talk with someone so open minded & aware of the different ways people live nowadays. 

Next she asked me about intergenerational curses & what I thought of ancestral  healing & so that was the ideal time to talk about family tree healing masses, souls in purgatory, demons etc.

Clearly a spiritual person, she loved it & wasfascinated by the richness of Catholic spirituality & healing ministry.

At this stage it was 11.40 & I had to go less. I missed my exam but in her kindness, she insisted on giving me her sandwich & we swapped numbers so that she could get my website etc.

The exams went well & on Wednesday evening, I was invited to a free screening of a new movie by a friend.

Arriving at the cinema with Rayne, the place was full & so we had to sit beside a lady who seemed to be on her own.

Picking that she was a bit nervous, I  immediately made some small talk & offered her some crisps which she kindly accepted. As we had 15 minutes to spare, I told her about my ministry in the church & then slowly, she opened up that she went to a Catholic school & that she is now a born again Christian after experiencing the Holy Spirit at age 23!

Super I thought as we continued talking about Jesus & prayer & the madness of following him.

‘My sister had the experience of the Holy Spirit first & she started preaching on the streets, all of us & all the neighbours thought that she had gone mad but little did we know, she experienced the Lord!’

I was smiling as I thought of my own story & the reaction of my family when I told them that I met Jesus!! That was 20 years ago & we have never been close since!!

The movie was brilliant although I’m not allowed to talk about it but let’s just say, it was very deep, deeply moving & full of Christian values & morality.

Cycling home, I smiled as I considered how much spirituality & interest in spiritual things that there is in today’s world.

People will seldom be the first to raise spirituality as a topic of conversation but when one does, it’s really amazing the conversations that flow, not to mention the free sandwiches & coffees & cinema outings!!

So, let’s not be afraid to talk about Jesus & of the healing ministry & we might be surprised to learn that we have far more in common with the ordinary people sitting beside us every day whether on the bus or in a coffee shop or at the cinema!!

It’s a MORTAL SIN!

About a week ago, Fr. Keith, our parish priest, asked me if I would be happy to sponsor a gay man who is becoming a Catholic!

Just in case you have no clue what that means, let me explain! When a person who is already a Christian but not a Catholic, wants to become a Catholic, they don’t need to be baptised again but they do need to be formally accepted into the Church & for that they need a sponsor.

So, as soon as Fr. Keith asked me, I immediately heard the voice of the Holy Spirit,  which I’m long accustomed to hearing  whisper ‘say yes!’.

‘Yes Father’, I said, wondering who on earth I was sponsoring & why he had nobody else to ask but me!!

Sunday morning came & the ceremony was at 11 am. I arrived at about 10.55 & was introduced to the most charming man who was there with his partner.

Immediately we connected as I cracked a few jokes to break any tension. The service went splendidly & afterwards we went for a tea where we got chatting more!!

I couldn’t believe it, & neither could he,  we had so much in common & so the cup of tea carried over to some food & wine in the pub across the road, ironically called ‘Cock & Bottle’ & as one very honest priest who has now passed away jokingly called it ‘his two biggest additions’!!!

In the pub the man told me a lot of his story of being gay & Christian, the struggles, the rejections & then happily, the gift God gave him of meeting another man with whom he has grown with for the last 20 years.

Then, he explained to me how it is that I became his sponsor!!

‘I had someone but they pulled out’, he said.

I was intrigued just as you probably are right now!

‘Yes, she went to Lourdes & then told me that she couldn’t be my sponsor because it was a mortal sin!!’

The poor man I thought, trying his best to follow God, becoming a Catholic & then to be told it was a mortal sin to be gay or to have a partner just a week beforehand……and all that from a pilgrimage to Lourdes!!!

Thankfully, he didn’t let it stop him & neither did Fr. Keith, as he thanked me profusely for accepting to sponsor him instead.

How sad though that many still think that it’s a mortal sin to be gay because the Church teaches that it’s actually not a sin at all to be gay.

Similarly, it’s not automatically a sin to have a same sex partner just as it’s not automatically a sin for a man to have a girlfriend & even if the partnership has a sexual dimension, we still can’t say that it’s a ‘mortal sin’ because for a sin to be ‘mortal’, there must be full knowledge, full consent & it must be serious.

Most gay men have been so battered & bruised that they have fallen into sexual additions many years ago & God takes all this wounding & bruising into account before judging them & the gravity of their sins etc.

As Pope Leo very correctly stated recently, there are other sins besides sex…judging others for example!!

And so, as we all left the pub in such good cheer, delighted that I was able to be Our Lady’s instrument for an afternoon, we were once again reminded of the desperate need for proper education when it comes to pastoral care for LGBT people & indeed, the whole understanding of ‘mortal sin’!!

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!!

Coffee with Saints!

Last Thursday was the feast day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel & as I arrived home after evening mass, I stumbled on two strangers waiting outside the parish house.

Greeting them & asking if all was ok, they explained to me that they were there to pick up a priest who was visiting the parish that evening.

Continuing to chat, I messaged our parish priest to explain & after maybe ten or fifteen minutes, both priests came down.

Fr. Don, the visiting priest, was Irish & has spent very many years working all over the world! At 80 years old, he seemed as young & lively as 25 & jokingly explained that he’d retire at 85!!

Delighted to meet a fellow Irish man, we got chatting more when suddenly out of his pocket he pulled what we call a ‘first class relic’!!

A relic is an object linked to a saint such as something they wore or used or perhaps even a piece of their body. A first class relic means that the object had direct contact with the saint.

He told me how he knew this saint personally when he was alive & that he even had coffee with him & so his prayer went like this:

‘Bless this man to know God’s will for his life, now I even had coffee with you, so help him’

As he finished with the sign of the cross!!

Continuing the conversation, he told me how he met Mother Teresa once & spent 15 minutes with her when he was in Rome.

Part of me wondered if I should have asked him for an item of his own belongings as he seemed like the exact sort of person that could be a saint himself some day!!

Meanwhile, the couple waiting on him explained how he can get by in the language of Fiji while jokingly, he explained that he mixes it up at times with his Japanese!!

How inspiring, I thought, meeting this extraordinary individual & how inspiring these missionaries are who left countries such as Ireland maybe 60 years ago, learnt foreign languages & gave their lives to helping others in the most extraordinary of ways.

At times, our media only tells us the bad stories & so, how crucial it is to be reminded of all the wonderful things happening in our church & world today.

And, wouldn’t it be nice if one day, we too could say, “I had coffee with a saint!!”

Get it out of here!

A few days ago, I met a real character who before becoming Catholic, was a master forger!

He explained how when he was younger, he made an absolute fortune selling fake art & that he was so good at it that not only did he never get caught but that some of his pieces are still for sale today for the same price & on display in certain places like museums.

He laughed when he told me how he met ‘experts’ who described his art to him as original pieces while he chuckled inwardly, knowing they were mere trash & that the experts didn’t have a clue!!

Years later, he had a big religious conversion & so he  gave enormous amounts of money to charities to ‘make up’ so to speak for his ways.

As I pondered on the incident, I reflected on the many Catholic moral teachings hidden between the lines!

Firstly there is the teaching on forgiveness, sorry, he went to God through the sacrament of confession & he was forgiven!!

Secondly, the need for reparation. The working out of the sacrament of reconciliation involves making amends in some way for the harm done (in this case it was through giving money to charity).

Thirdly & perhaps the most subtle one, making amends can sometimes be done in many ways.

The man for example could have potentially written to every person he defrauded & told them but because so many years had passed, it might have been next to impossible to find all the pieces & people involved and I guess, he could potentially have ended up in prison.

Thus, in such circumstances, after seeking guidance from a confessor or spiritual director, one must do something in proportion to  the damage done in reparation even if it can’t fully undo the damage.

This is a tricky area & an area that has been misused in the past to cover up sins like sexual abuse. Nonetheless, there are certain situations like this one above where it can be valid.

Whatever the case, isn’t it wonderful to know that God cannot be fooled or mocked like some of these art experts were!!

When we die, our very souls will be the ‘work of art’ & God will immediately see through anything fake, anything incomplete, anything hidden & will send us into the fiery flames of purgatory (assuming we don’t choose hell) for the reparation & inner work that we probably could have done (& should have done) on earth!

So, let’s not only confess our sins & think that no more is required of us. Rather, let’s get busy making up for our mistakes in whatever we can, especially to those who have been the most affected by them & like this man, be a living example of conversion, forgiveness & reparation.

I pray they’re in hell!!

Evangelisation is full of surprises & yesterday was no exception!

Recently, I befriended this very prayerful little old lady who goes to daily mass & prays a lot. Somehow the topic of family came up & she explained to me how her parents conned her out of a lot of money, leaving her almost with nothing.

Usually people open up to me about these type of things, as if somehow they know that I will understand & in this case, how right she was!!

‘You must pray for them & over time the wounds will heal’, I said, talking to myself just as much as to her!

Her response shocked me though!!

‘I do pray for them & I beg the Lord to send them to hell!!’

In all my years, I have never heard of anyone saying that to me, let alone a daily mass goer & on the other hand, I admired her honesty!

We arranged to meet next week to talk more about it so hopefully I’ll be able to help her so that she can forgive her parents who are long since dead & at least hope that they are on the road to heaven!!

The incident did get me thinking on how much harder it is to forgive people who are not sorry for what they have done to us.

Suppose this lady’s parents acknowledged the hurt that they had caused her before they died, it would be far easier for her to forgive them.

Sadly, this is often not the case & so we must forgive before God, without the other person present & hope one day that the person may see the hurt they caused & that reconciliation may happen.

In many cases, we forgive & we may never be reconciled with the people again until perhaps in heaven when everyone will finally be in the light & perfect truth & justice will reign.

Yet, even that is not guaranteed for countless mystics have explained that very many souls do not choose the light!

That said, we should sincerely pray that every soul will go to heaven, especially those who have hurt us the most! May our suffering be used to draw them to conversion so that when we reach heaven, they may throw their arms around us in thanks – that would be the sweetest revenge so to speak.

The wisdom of the cross is foolishness to the world!!

Don’t judge & Catholic by their Face!!

We  have often heard it said that we should never judge a book by its over, perhaps the same can be said about a Catholic & their face?!!

Yesterday, I went to confession to what appeared to be the least interested priest on the planet. He was slouched back in his chair, arms folded & didn’t budge as I sat in front of him.

‘In the name of the Father, & of the Son, & of the Holy Spirit’, he said, without moving his hands or body or even looking at me!!

As I proceeded to tell him my sins, wondering if he was even able to hear me, I couldn’t but notice that he was wearing shoes like slippers & clearly hadn’t shaved that morning!!

When I finished, without looking at me he said:

‘Now say your act of contrition & I’ll give you absolution’.

Saying the prayer, I was disappointed that he had no spiritual advice or bit of encouragement to offer & yet happy that he managed to give me absolution with the correct words without falling asleep or dying!!

Out I went to sit in the Church when suddenly a lady with a face that would turn milk sour sat behind me. I tried smiling at her once some months ago while extending my hand during the sign of peace & let’s just say, she looked at me with a stone cold face as if I was invisible!!

As the mass continued, the priest went on to give us a homily & can you believe it, it was actually good & quite challenging too.

I smiled interiorly as I thought of another priest I know who despite being excellent in confession gives the most rubbish homilies ever!

It got me thinking that we really can’t judge a soul by their face & that some priests may have a special charism for preaching & not be so good in confession or vice versa.

Now, going back to the lady, she sat beside me at a gathering a some weeks ago & when I began talking to her, she was actually super nice. I came to understand that when she’s at mass, she just wants to concentrate on the spirituality & consequently, she comes across as very rude & snooty.

And so, at yesterday’s mass, I turned to give her the sign of peace again  & guess what? She totally ignored me!!

So you see, we really can’t judge a Catholic by their face as we can meet many very nice people who just happen to have a sour face perhaps due to life’s stresses, personal struggles or perhaps inner traumas.

Similarly, we can meet many people with nice & kind faces but if we found ourselves in need, often they’d be the last to help us!

That said, it would be nice if these ‘spiritual people with what seems like permanent sour faces worked just a little harder to show a little more humanity to the rest of us less their sour faces become an occasion for some to despair & perhaps even leave the Church!

A Steamy Encounter!

Good morning from Barcelona’s International Airport where I’m waiting for my flight back to London!

As I wait, let me tell you about a steamy encounter that I had yesterday at the sports centre.

I was minding my own business & enjoying the steam room when an older gentleman walked in & asked me if I minded him increasing the temperature! Guessing that Spanish wasn’t my first language, he proceeded to talk to me in English & he turned out to be very friendly.

Explaining that I was on a little holiday & that while I’m studying theology & very involved in the church in London, I was very surprised how little religious fervour there was in Barcelona.

Some people might think I’m being negative but I like to say things as they are & the Catholic Church in Barcelona is wealthy but pretty dead from what I’ve seen.

Suddenly, the man pulled out a weapon from his swimming shorts which he was carrying on him secretly!

The weapon was a small blue plastic rosary and he explained that he liked to pray the rosary secretly in the steam too when nobody was about!!

I was really flattered that he felt comfortable to show me & he then continued to explain exactly what I had come to believe.

‘Barcelona is a very secular place, in fact, a practising Christian is a very odd thing in this culture!’

The sadness in his voice was tangible as it was obvious that he really loved Barcelona but all the love in the world couldn’t deny this sad reality.

Thanking him as I left the steam room, I felt so happy! It was like God smiling at me saying “yes, you were right, many don’t want to hear the truth & gloss over it with ‘toxic-positivity’, but the truth is the truth, the church & the world is in a terrible state & desperately needs prayer & conversion!”

Thank you Jesus for this steamy encounter on my last day!!

Money, Money, Money, It’s a Rich Man’s World !!

Three days into my little Barcelona trip & I was inspired to write a blog entry!!

First impressions are that Barcelona is truly a beautiful city, however, if one is spiritually-minded such as myself, there are many challenges.

Thank God, finding daily mass was quite easy with a Catholic Church just minutes from my accommodation & while I didn’t understand large chunks of the readings & liturgy, between knowing french & many visits to Medjugorje where one hears the mass in many languages, I got the gist of it.

Just like in most countries, mass attendance was made up mostly of old people, something that as a Catholic, one gets used to but one doesn’t stop feeling disappointed about.

I then proceeded to explore the city & one of the major sites is a Catholic Basilica called ‘La Sagrada Familia’. It truly is stunning & for a whopping £30, one can visit.

I’ve never been much of a tourist so I gave the visit a miss but I do plan on going there this evening for international mass at 8pm so I may get a glimpse after all….free!

Other tourist ‘Catholic hot-spots’  include the Cathedral & another gigantic church dedicated to Our Lady.

However, once again, you have to pay to get in with no option for anyone who just wanted to pray, bar mass which is at 7 in the evening.

I have to admit, I felt extremely disappointed, especially as it was Friday & for Catholics, Friday is a special day to pray & meditate on the Lord’s passion.

Approaching 3pm, I decided to pay to get into ‘Santa Maria de la Mer’, a spectacular church dedicated to Our Lady, where I even managed to do an hour of prayer in the crypt (interrupted only a few times by tourists).

It certainly felt very sad that in these magnificent buildings that there was very little sense of prayer & that they felt more like museums than anything else. I couldn’t but think of Our Lady of Medjugorje, begging people to pray & fast for the world & to adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament & then this…..

Content that I at least had some time to pray, I then strolled towards the bus station where my friend Séamus was almost abducted about 3 years ago. He was visiting Barcelona when he suddenly stopped communicating, I got very worried. Long story short, police were called, he was reported as a missing person & by the grace of God, his sisters flew to Barcelona & found him at this very spot where a gang had kept him hostage….

Needing some cheering up after that, I wandered about in the 30 degree heat, thanking God for everything that he has brought me through over the years & smiling that my visit to Barcelona was turning into a sort of ‘silent retreat’ more than anything else. I was surprised that the locals speak very little English & my Spanish is very basic, not helped by the reflex to say something in Croatian from my many visits to Medjugorje!!

On Saturday, I visited a famous town for gay people called ‘Sitges’. Certainly not my cup of tea but at least now I know for myself. There was however a beautiful Catholic Church but sadly it was closed all day & just opened some evenings for mass!! I did my ‘prayer time’ in a coffee shop instead  as I reflected on how life as a Christian can indeed be very isolating at times, especially in our modern world.

Returning to Barcelona & after attending evening mass, I went for a stroll in the famous gay area of Barcelona called ‘Gaixapmle’.

Like most places one visits, the hype is greater than the reality & this wasn’t any different! I had 2 glasses of wine in two different venues as I simply ‘people-watched’, glad for once that I couldn’t speak the language & that the Lord was giving me some time out from it all.

‘If I wasn’t doing evangelisation, I don’t think I’d have anything to do with the gay scene’, I thought as I reflected on how little I ever fitted into this world!! God certainly has humour, I thought, glad also that I was away this year from the madness of London’s ‘Gay Pride’!

And so that brings me right up to today & I’m looking forward to doing some sport, visiting a monastery where there is perpetual Eucharist Adoration (free entry can you believe) & going to evening mass at the ‘Sagrada’.

Overall,  definitely enjoying the few days away & really counting my blessings for all the wonderful churches, facilities & communities of friends that I have in London.

‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder!!’

Photoshop it!!

Yesterday, I flew to Barcelona where I am today & what better place to do a little evangelisation than on the plane!!

There you are with a captive audience, a prisoner of sorts, buckled in & unable to escape as you preach the gospel to them….

Not quite my style but as God’s grace would have it, a very kind & chatty lady sat beside me & you could say that the ‘evangelisation’ simply happened on its own.

As a maths teacher who left it all a few years ago after the death of her dad, she had no problem relating to my former profession as an actuary, and more to the point, why I left it.

Her dad’s death sparked in her a similar sort of ‘what’s the meaning of my life’ crisis & in turn, she left her job & went travelling around the world, particularly reconnecting with her Indian roots.

She explained that the hardest part of ‘breaking free’ was related to family & family expectations & pressures. She was single & had no kids & her other siblings just couldn’t relate to her or her life & were often quite hurtful.

I smiled & said:

‘Ya, often the cost of freedom is family’, as I shared some of my own story & the disastrous consequences it had with family!

She totally related & as we spoke, it was quite obvious that it was one of those ‘meant to be’ conversations.

Then with remarkable kindness, she pulled out a sandwich & a crossword & that we ate & solved together.

I’ll probably never meet this lady again & yet these are the types of opportunities that can present to us all every day for ‘evangelisation’ or putting it another way, sharing love, hope & joy with other people while witnessing in a factual way about how Jesus has helped us.

So how did our conversation start because let’s be honest, the start is the most difficult.

When she got into her seat, she took a selfie & she didn’t like it, so then she took another one & another one & another one….

Finally, I smiled & said:

‘You could photo-shop it’, & rather than be insulted she replied:

‘Thanks, I needed that wake-up call!!’

Just shows, sometimes it pays to be a bit cheeky in a fun way!

So, let’s get out there today as best we can & add a bit of colour & to the world & say a little prayer for me as I try to speak a little Spanish with the locals of Barcelona!!

From Modelling to AI, Embracing Change!

The last few days have most certainly been a mix of the old & the new, while raising many important questions for Christians in today’s modern world!

The first event I was at was a fashion show where a friend from our prayer group was displaying some of her designs.

As I looked at the various models, it was clear that there was a great variety of clothing, some very stylish that could suit any era or occasion & others that are probably best kept for the catwalk.

However, it did beg the question; how can Christians dress while being both stylish & modest?

Perhaps my friend’s pieces answered some of this question, that is until the model who was wearing one of them gave us a flash of her nipples! Obviously she was so busy changing from one outfit to the next that she hadn’t time to put it all in place so to speak!

However, perhaps this little incident summed up the entire issue. How to get the fine line between style & modesty?

Later that evening, I was invited to a talk regarding AI & Pope Leo’s most recent document.

Upon arrival, I noticed that I was at least 20 years younger than everybody & probably over 30 years younger than most!!

‘Gosh’, I thought, “where are the younger people who are going to be far more affected by these issues & who Jesus is going to need to be His hands & feet in this very challenging area.’

Many shared their concerns about AI, most of which were probably the product of fear mongering on the media, while a few seemed to have a more balanced view, acknowledging the good while wary of potential abuses & problems.

Perhaps it highlighted to me that just like the previous example with the clothing, being a true Christian is neither about being stuck in the past & refusing change nor is it about embracing change without discernment & caution.

True Christianity is about life, about moving forwards, all while maintaining moral codes & not crossing ethical lines, a balance that can be phenomenally difficult to find, particularly in both a church & a world of extremes!

So, as I wind up this little blog, let us pray for wisdom, discernment, strength & creative ways & strategies to use some of these new tools & techniques to bring us right back to the basics, the good news of God’s love & His thirsting desire for us not only to be a well-dressed technologically advanced people, but more importantly, for us to be a prayerful & godly people who will spend eternity with Him in heaven!

London’s Lovely Old People !

Yesterday, I was invited to speak to a group of old people after the midday mass at St. George’s Cathedral.

Not really sure of what their attention span was going to be like, I discerned from the Holy Spirit to simply go without preparing a thing & to just talk on the moment!

So, off I cycled & after the mass the old people came trickling into the hall & what a joy!!

The first lady I spoke to was full of joy despite being tied to an electric wheelchair:

‘I’m 95 & hopefully I’m going to make 100’, she proclaimed calmly & firmly with the lucidity of a twenty year old.

Little by little, more people came until I was introduced as the guest speaker & at this point it was obvious what I was going to talk about, just a little bit of my life story & mission.

Off I started with my upbringing in Ireland, my career, meeting Jesus & my trip around the world including France, India, Australia & then back to Europe & finally to London.

They were indeed very attentive & when I could see that they were open minded, towards the end I mentioned the gay issue, not that I was trying to avoid it but I didn’t want to make it the focus from the start.

As I finished up, they asked me such lovely, kind & caring questions without an ounce of judgement which were as healing for me as the responses were informative for them.

Living in London has healed me a lot because the people in London aren’t shocked by anything, even the older ones. After all, they were young once & many too moved to London to get away from the hum-drum of ordinary life elsewhere!!

Urging them all to pray for young people, some of the more vocal oldies began to talk!.

One lovely lady had pictures of princess Diana & insisted we sign a birthday card for her while another gave us a big rendition of a spiritual experience she had on a bus many years ago.


They were so lovely & yet it was clear that many of them just wanted to talk about anything at all…they just wanted to talk & to be heard by a respectful & listening ear, something I may add that I was struggling with as half of what they were saying went straight over my head.

Finishing up, I went into the Cathedral to pray a little & to clear my head. Ironically, I found myself in the ‘chapel of St. Patrick’ & I could feel that many Irish people were praying for me from the ‘other side’!!

Cycling home, I thanked God for the gift of old people. I prayed that the lady would indeed live till 100 & I thanked God that people far more patient than me exist in this world to care for & look after these people day in, day out, come what may!!

Let me in!!

Yesterday, with some friends, I visited London’s Wimbledon area where the tennis tournament is due to start today!!

Strolling past the courts, it was amazing to see all the landrovers with blacked out windows, coming & going to collect the players.

Big black gates blocked the entrance with security all around & I couldn’t help but make a silly video, jokingly introducing myself as a tennis player for my Facebook friends!

It did however get me thinking as during the day, my friends & I were discussing purgatory & how one priest managed to upset a whole village in Ireland when at a funeral, he suggested the deceased might be in purgatory!!

Imagine, I thought, if I rocked up to Wimbledon & said:

‘I want to play, I’m a good player‘, good because I played a handful of times & beat my younger brother when I was a child!!

Of course they’d laugh at me & say that much more credentials than that were needed & yet, that’s what so many people do in the face of spiritual realities!

With minimum preparation, no great interior life & probably a life full of gossip & judging others, they expect that they will die & go straight to heaven with a similar:.

‘I’m a good person’!!

Only trouble is, that just like Wimbledon standards, the officials may take a quick look & shout:

‘Security, get him/ her out of here!!’

However, all is not lost. If we do indeed want to go straight to heaven, then just like the tennis players, we must be prepared to give God our all, to put prayer at the cornerstone of our lives, to pick up our cross every day, to root out our vices, to learn to love everyone & most of all to love Jesus!

And if we haven’t done this, then we should be very grateful indeed that God actually made a place called purgatory where perhaps lukewarm or presumptuous souls may go to get properly scrubbed up before joining the Lord on centre court!!

London Heatwave!!

Over the last few days here in London, we have had a heat wave with temperatures soaring up to 35 while at night staying in the twenties!

Perhaps the Lord is showing us what hell might be like as we remain powerless to do a thing & there is no way out!!

Purgatory might be a better analogy, terrible suffering which is guaranteed to stop eventually but from what I’ve seen on the streets, the heat has brought out the devil in many people!!

‘I hate my husband’, said a lady at the coffee shop the other day. 

‘I told him that we should have put in air-conditioning when building the house.’

To be fair, she was a lovely young mother, exasperated by 3 young kids struggling with the heat.

‘The eldest woke up in a feral mood this morning, barely slept!, she sighed as I listened with as much compassion as I could muster up which wasn’t much as I too was struggling with the heat.

‘Our neighbour had mental health problems & took her life last year during a heatwave’, she continued.

‘How sad, I thought’, feeling powerless as to what to say or do.

Sitting down, I recognised another lady who began telling me how worried she was about her cat in the heat.

That’s the thing about big cities, some people like animals more than people & you can see it from how they dress them up & some even push them around in buggies.

Trying to show compassion, I listened carefully while at the back of my head, I was thinking of the cats we had at home when I was a child & the fate that some of them had!!

One thing I noticed was that neither of these ladies made any mention of God & that they were struggling to find meaning or even peace in the struggle of the heatwave..

It made me thankful for the gift of faith & all my prayerful friends who, although still struggling with the heat, find meaning to it & don’t let it over-power them!

Fortunately, it’s a bit cooler today but even so, may we pray & look out with love & compassion for those struggling in this season & perhaps through our love, they may come a step closer to finding the Lord, the divine architect of it all!!

A Cut to Remember!

Evangelisation is full of contractions & perhaps nothing has highlighted this more to me than my barber where I get a cheap haircut!

The place is absolutely filthy, the haircut is at world record speed but the price is low & the results are good.

The barber, Mr B, I’ll call him less anyone recognises him, is middle-aged, grumpy & happens to be a Christian from an Arab country.

Almost every time I visit, he’s playing YouTube videos about religious matters & I shout ‘Praise be Jesus’ as I look about noting that Jesus still hasn’t inspired him to clean the shop!!

Yesterday’s visit was no different & as he finished the haircut before me, he said ‘that guy is Muslim’ because the man wanted oil for his scalp but the oil could have no alcohol.

This was news to me. I knew strict Muslims don’t drink alcohol but I didn’t realise that things with alcohol like aftershave & oils are also forbidden.

I then handed him the healing oil that I had brought with me, knowing that he isn’t catholic & so he may or may not have liked it!

He accepted it graciously!!

That my friends is another contradiction of Christian life when some Christians look at other Christians as pagans!! Last year, I had the misfortune of talking to him about Our Lady & my goodness, did I get an earful?!

Our Lady to some Christians is nothing short of a demonic entity masquerading as a woman to deceive people & he had no problem telling me this last year!!

That said, his shop is open every day, including Sundays & clearly he has no issues with that, something quite strange for such a ‘strict Christian’ so to speak.

The world of evangelisation I’m afraid is full of these kind of tensions & contradictions which is why you have to tread very carefully as if on a mine field!! As soon as you think that someone is on the same page as you, usually they will do or say something that will leave you speechless.

Yet, we are called to love & loving doesn’t mean agreeing or ignoring differences but what it does mean is not allowing differences to be the main focus which would lead to a total breakdown in relationship & any ability to communicate at any level!

It also requires us to be very humble as people may tell us things that they believe which may be very offensive to us. The trick, when possible, is to listen, not overreact & remind ourselves of all the silly things we believed in before coming to where we are now!

So, let’s continue spreading love, learning & growing from all our experiences & meetings & may people remember us for our love & joy even if they find fault with much of what we say!!

Lord, teach us to love!

‘Dealing Healing’ on the  streets!

One of the things that I’ve always been passionate about is that healing ministry should be free & anything that I give people should also be free!

I guess God taught me this the hard way, living in foreign countries half my life without a penny & so totally relying on God’s grace & mercy working through good people.

I couldn’t afford £300 to stay in a monastery or £10 for a mass or £15 for a fancy rosary. My budget was ZERO & so too is the budget zero for many of the most broken & wounded people in our world.

How then can I afford to be giving them jewellery of the sacred heart, miraculous medals, rosaries?

Providence!

Last year, providence worked through Stephen, a franciscan brother who gave me hundreds of rosaries to hand out, I still have some of them!!

The year before, it was mother Teresa’s sisters who gave me hundreds of miraculous medals & this year, Providence went up a gear with a friend called Barry who has a real charism for evangelisation & making things like  chains, statues, holy oils etc.

You see, Barry spent years on the party scene so he has a real understanding of what people might like & how.

Sometimes he messages me saying:

‘I’ve dropped a package at the back of the Church under the table!’

Collecting it, I think to myself that we are like drug dealers, arranging packages & pick-ups in secret places except we are dealing ‘God’s love’!!

The latest thing that Barry has given to me is healing oil. It has received a special exorcism blessing at Tyburn convent & so we are expecting many good fruits & please God, several healings.

This evening, I’ll give some to my good friends at the Admiral Duncan in Soho, especially those with various ailments.

It’s important of course also to teach people how to pray with the oil & so just like antibiotics from the doctors, we have given some basic instructions, asking people to use the oil daily with a prayer we gave them.

The ministry of intercession is equally important, praying for all those people who perhaps don’t know how to pray.

So, as I hit the streets with healing oil, please pray for me, pray for all whom I meet & pray that many other people be inspired to reach out to the hurting & the broken in new & creative ways!!

And remember!! We received freely so let’s give freely…God provides!!

A Day Off!!

There is nothing like evangelisation to drain your batteries so to speak. From constantly meeting new people, going new places, hearing painful stories, the loud noises & drunken revelries in bars…it’s not easy!!

And so, on Friday, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to take a prayer day & recover from an intense week!

Time off is essential in ministry as otherwise one gets over busy & loses the ability to discern what God wants & how He wants it.

Off I cycled to the Cathedral where I was prompted to go to confession! Again, evangelisation has the ability to trigger every one of your wounds & put your patience & kindness to the test & inevitably, at times you will fall short of perfection! Confession is there to dust us off, clear out the cobwebs, renew our strength & prepare us for starting again.

Fortunately, I had a very kind & encouraging priest in confession & as soon as I left, I bumped into a friend from our prayer group who was also inspired to have a prayer day!!

After mass I went to my favourite local café, run by an Italian lady who married an Irish man with the same surname as me! I love jokingly calling her Mrs Moloney.

She made me a lovely sandwich & she sat down to talk to me a bit before calling her husband who was in the kitchen! They are a little estranged from the Church, yet always ask me to pray for them & are very appreciative when I give them Holy medals or blessed oil etc.

Wandering back to the Cathedral, I felt to pray a rosary for the souls in purgatory who would be the world’s best evangelisers if they could come back to earth for a while!!

Cycling home slowly, I had no great plans for the evening or even for dinner when suddenly, I got two offers of food from two Filipino guys in the house who are so kind & very understanding of my circumstances.

I must admit that I felt really spoiled & it was like no matter where I went, God was inspiring people to be extra kind & considerate to me!!

I went to bed, thanking God for a much needed day of recovery as I prayed for those struggling under the burden of ministry & on the verge of breaking down or giving up!

No matter who we are or how long we have been serving Jesus, at the end of the day, we are all human & in need of rest & recovery.

Let’s pray for all those who struggle to find this balance in their lives & let us also be mindful of those around us that we don’t push them over & beyond their limits & contribute to unnecessary stress, suffering & pressure.

‘O, Sacred heart of Jesus, teach us to love & to find the right balance in life’

Pray for Michael!

At about 6pm on Thursday evening, I was returning to the church when suddenly I bumped into a friend from the LGBT community that I hadn’t seen for quite some time!

‘This is weird’, she remarked. ‘I was just coming into the Church to light a candle for a friend who passed away & his name was Michael too!’.

Offering to go into the Church with her, we walked to the Sacred Heart statue & took 2 candles. Just as well that I was there as there were no matches or way of lighting the candles & so I had to light them off the big candles on the main altar where the Blessed Sacrament was exposed.

Michael died under strange circumstances & was dead for 2 weeks before anybody found him. Our hearts were full of God’s mercy for all involved as we prayed fervently before Jesus.

Later that evening, I was pondering on the situation again & thinking of how that poor man surely needed more prayer! Suddenly the image of a priest friend of mine popped into my head & I said ‘yes, we could get a mass said for him!”.

I contacted the priest & he was only too happy to oblige!

Many people all over the world, especially in big cities due alone & so often they are estranged from family & may not have any religious friends or people to pray for them.

In our Catholic tradition, we believe in purgatory as a place of purification for souls who died & who chose the light but are in need of more spiritual cleansing before they can go to heaven.

In fact, such is the perfection of heaven that even the great saints expected to spend some time in purgatory when they died & so if that’s the case, how much more we should expect that when people we know die that they will spend at least some time there!!

Yet, God in His mercy doesn’t want this time to be unnecessarily long which is why He asks those of us who are living, to pray for the dead & by doing so, getting them on the fast track to heaven.

On Thursday, clearly it was the Holy Spirit inspiring us to pray for Michael. Is there any deceased person in your life or family that may be in need of prayer? Take a moment, ask the Holy Spirit & if so, pray & offer a mass if possible for the soul who no doubt will bless you abundantly from the other side!

Jesus, help us to be your hands & feet by praying for the sous

‘I’m a Pagan!!’

Last night, the Holy Spirit sent me to a new LGBT venue in Camden. Part of me would much prefer to have stayed at home or gone to a prayer evening that was on, but I knew in my heart that God had other plans.

Arriving in Camden, a little nervous, I entered the bar. My friend wasn’t there yet & the guys told me that Karaoke would be cut short this evening because of a match. (It was then I discovered that the World Cup is on!!!)

My friends arrived & as nothing was happening, we went upstairs where there was another event on, a ‘queer social’ where I was introduced to more people!!

Over the night, one girl shared a harrowing story of abuse, violence, survival & how she helped her younger brother escape a life of drug addiction.

The brother was there, a lovely guy who was now deaf so he began teaching me sign language which was fun.

‘What do you do for work?’, the girl asked.

‘I run a Catholic outreach ministry to the LGBT community’, said I as I reached into my bag to give her a sacred heart medal & congratulate her on everything she had survived.

She was so touched & when her brother saw it, he asked for one & a minute later, everyone was looking at me wondering what I was doing!!

‘Medals for everybody’, I thought, slightly embarrassed as now I had to explain to everyone what they were, conscious that not everyone may be comfortable.

However, God took care of that, giving me a certain wit that they couldn’t resist!

‘I’m a pagan’, protested one guy!

‘Doesn’t stop God loving you, here you are’ as he took the medal with a smile…

‘But you have to repent & I’m not repenting ‘ said another as I smiled;

‘That’s between you & God’, as I watched her enthusiastically putting on the medal!!

She was trans as far as I could tell & probably thought that ‘repenting’ meant that she could no longer  be trans.

And so, before I knew it, I had medals given out to everyone & with the wit of the Holy Spirit, I’d managed to explain that God loves each person regardless of whether they are pagan or trans or gay or lesbian or whatever.

‘Repentance’ is a response to a grace of love from God who takes the first initiative. Then it’s a decision to enter into a new relationship of love with the Father. Without grace, it’s not possible & this is why God’s heart is burning for us to bring His love to people & then to leave the rest between them & God.

Perhaps as some of these lovely people were going to bed last night, they may well have prayed a very sincere prayer to the sacred heart of Jesus & poured out their hearts & troubles, we just don’t know!

Let’s pray for all people who haven’t yet received the grace of repentance & who associate repenting with pressure, force & misery rather than a grace that brings love, joy & peace!!

I will wear it!!

On Monday evening, I went to the famous ‘Admiral Duncan’ LGBT bar for Karaoke. As many of you know, the main reason that it’s famous is because it was bombed almost 30 years ago in a horrendous homophobic attack that killed 3 people & injured dozens.

And so how fitting, to set off another bomb here so to speak, a bomb of God’s love, acceptance, healing & care on this month of both ‘Pride’ & the Sacred Heart of Jesus!

Upon arrival, the first thing I noticed was that several of the guys were wearing the Sacred heart medals that I gave them last week, visibly & proud for the whole world to see! Then, as soon as I sat down, one asked me:

‘Have you got one with Our Lady ‘ & as soon as I gave him one, his friend asked for one too!!

I was chuckling inside that here I was in a Central London gay bar surrounded by guys wanting more medals & blessings from Jesus & Mary.

Some time later, another chap I know arrived & I felt prompted to give him a medal which also has a prayer for healing.

‘Thank you so much, I need this & I will wear it’ he smiled as he explained to me that he’s due to have more surgery in July for cancer.

I then sang ‘Can you feel the love tonight?’ by Elton John,  thinking of the love of Jesus for every single person in the bar before setting off home on my bicycle as I prayed the ‘Divine Mercy Chapelet’ for such an inspiring evening & for everyone who I met.

Once again, a reminder to us all, me included, that God is love & as the bible says in John 15:13…

‘Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’

May we, empowered by grace, generously imitate our Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ, & lay our lives down too for our friends, especially the most forgotten, the most despised & the most in need of God’s love & friendship!!

It’s never too late!

London is full of people who have come from very difficult & painful backgrounds & yesterday, I bumped into a friend of mine who fits this profile perfectly!

She’s faced a lifetime of abuse, is fiesty & fiery & yet deep down, she’s sweet, kind & sensitive with a real heart for people & for justice.

Since meeting her about a year ago, I’ve been praying for her & so how happy I was when yesterday she told me that she plans on doing a degree in history!!

She left school early, worked hard all her life & by her own admission ‘hasn’t a single qualification to her name!!’

Yet she has a real love for history & something is rising up in her saying ‘Why not? I can do it!!’

Life’s wounds can be brutal at times & many very gifted people are out there, undiscovered simply because they have been crushed & fears & wounds hold them back.

However, Jesus is there too whispering ‘your past doesn’t have to be your future, come, I’ll help you, let’s take it day by day, one step at a time!’

So today, as we wander about,  let’s pray & be mindful of all those wounded people in need of a bit of love & a bit of encouragement to follow their hearts, pursue their dreams & find love, peace, joy & happiness!

Suicide & the Sacred Heart!

‘I know one day that I’ll commit suicide!’

Were the painful words of one very kind & charming man who I met last night at an LGBT venue.

It reminded me of my own life many years ago when suicide seemed to be gaining ground on me & despite my best efforts, I thought that one day, it would ultimately win!!

This poor man has been to every therapist & help possible & nothing has really worked for him & despite wanting to live, I guess he figures that one day, the dark side will over-power him.

He spoke humbly, honesty & from his heart & I couldn’t help but be touched to the core by his dilemma.

Suddenly, I realised that I had a  sacred heart medal left in my pocket & a miraculous medal too. Offering them to him, I explained what they were & with a smile he said:

‘Yes, I know, I was raised Catholic!’

As he opened the little package, I could feel Jesus’ crazy love for him as my heart simultaneously pined that I could not help him more or direct him towards some wonderful inner-healing ministry for gay men.

I thought of mother Teresa, feeding one child a scrap of bread in a country that was starving, a drop in the ocean & yet very important in the eyes of God.

As gay pride approaches this month, many Christians & indeed many Catholics will get very angry & very political but if only they might take a walk with me & meet a community of hurting & wounded people, many struggling to live & cope, desperately in need of love, acceptance, respect, healing & community.

‘Lord, help us to love beyond borders & do everything we can to prevent suicides in the gay community & indeed in the world in general.

May we be generous with our time & lives so that we may be your apostles of healing love & hope.’

Sacred heart of Jesus, we trust in you.

Lord, take me please!

After mass yesterday, I bumped into a man who I haven’t seen for a while.

‘How are you?’, I inquired, not expecting him to say:
‘I’m praying hard for the Lord to just take me, I’ve lived my life, my wife has passed & there is nothing left’

My heart sank as I could feel his pain but also because I know many other people of the same age full of life & energy.

‘Do you want to go for a coffee?’, I suggested & before you know it, we were seated in a coffee shop where a friend of his joined us.

She too was struggling immensely with life, its purpose & with her mental health & so I did my best to cheer the two of them up by offering prayer, some joyful conversation etc.

As the man talked, he explained that his only purpose in life now is to pray for souls in purgatory & he has a very lonely living alone.

‘It’s a pity the souls can’t come & visit you & show you how beneficial your prayers are’, I thought. Then he’d very willingly live till 100!!

An hour later, I was back at the Church & praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament where I heard Jesus tell me how lonely & abandoned He feels & how He has so much love & yet how so few people come to receive it!

I couldn’t help feeling the terrible irony! Jesus is lonely because He has too much love & these people are lonely because they have too little!

The answer seems obvious in a way: bring them to Jesus! However, when people have big wounds and hurts, often their hearts are unable to feel or experience the love of Jesus & so they get easily bored & distracted in the Church.

The true solution is more difficult! People need a lot of inner-healing prayer & a very loving Church community around them with different activities & gatherings to help them socialise & find purpose.

So, after this feast of the sacred heart of Jesus, let’s pray & act in such a way that our churches can become communities of prayer, inner-healing, love & fellowship & that nobody will feel so exhausted & sad that they will be praying hard for the Lord to take them.

Has anyone ever shouted at you?!

Some months ago, I went into a local café in Notting Hill when suddenly, a very troubled lady came in, making an untold amount of noise!

Asking her to cool down a bit resulted in her shouting an untold amount of abuse at me!!!

‘Shut the F*CK Up’ etc.

So, with that in mind, who did I spot a few days ago in another café I frequent only the same lady!!

‘I wonder will she recognise me?’, I thought as I smiled & said a calm and joyful hello.

She smiled & sat beside me!

‘Good grief’, I thought, not expecting things to get quite so intimate!!

Anyway, pretending I knew nothing about her, I asked her how she was & where she was based’

‘I used to live near Portobello’ she told me as interiorly I said ‘yep, definitely her!!’

She then began asking me a whole pile of questions & when I told her about my evangelisation work, she was very interested & kind.

‘Is it safe? She queried with genuine motherly concern..

‘Has anyone ever shouted at you?!!’

Keeping a completely calm composure, my mind flashed to her yelling ‘Don’t talk to me about Jesus you f*cking ….’ just a few months back.

‘It’s not really dangerous’, I explained, delighted that she had forgotten it all but also that she seemed so much better.

She then went on to tell me about her very poor housing situation & many of her difficulties & I listened carefully, doing my best to cheer her up.

‘Can I give you a miraculous medal?’, I asked, recalling the last time when she told me to get stuffed with it.

‘O please!’, she smiled ‘And could I ask you for another one for my niece?’

‘Certainly’, I smiled as I could see how happy she was.

Leaving she said:

‘You have been such a blessing today, so lovely meeting you, O thank you so much!!’

Walking out I smiled at Jesus as I thought of how I had prayed for her after the first encounter & how things had changed so much!

What a powerful reminder of the power of prayer, of letting things go & of giving people a second chance & what a blessing to see this poor lady, so happy to receive a miraculous medal & please God, her accommodation will improve shortly!!

‘Has anyone ever shouted at you?

‘Yes, YOU!!!’

Love is in the air!!

June is the month of the sacred heart of Jesus, however it is also ‘Pride Month ‘ & so rather than fuel divisions, it’s a great opportunity to spread love & the love of the sacred heart to the gay community!!

With this in mind, a friend of mine had a bunch of beautiful sacred heart medals on a chain made up that looked both stylish & sacred, the ideal items to distribute to my LGBT friends.

And so, yesterday was Karaoke night at the Admiral Duncan bar, I began to give them out without AMAZING SUCCESS!

‘Hey, I have a gift for you, this is a chain with a medal & this is the sacred heart of Jesus which us Catholics celebrate in June.’

‘Wow, that’s amazing & so sweet, it looks like a sun, can you explain’, was the general response!

‘Those are the graces coming from His heart, pray & ask him for all the blessings & graces that you need.’

‘Wow, can you help me put it on?’

Honestly, it was so amazing to see so many people so happy to wear the chain, knowing exactly what it was!!

I then sang my song ‘Love is in the air’ as I thought of the love of Jesus for everybody in that pub & let’s just say, many individuals are not the type that you would like to meet late at night in a dark alley!!.

Shortly after my song, someone else came up to me asking if I had a medal for his friend & of course I did.

The friend came over to thank me, a bodybuilder who could probably lift me off the ground with his little finger & offered to buy  me a drink!

As I left, I thought how amazing the night was & how love opens doors. The love of Jesus for all in the LGBT community is boundless & more than anything, Jesus desires all those who have not experienced His love to come to have that ‘awakening’ that changes everything!!

May we be full of the love of Jesus this June & share this love with everyone we meet, especially those in the LGBT community who very often have never even heard of the sacred heart of Jesus!!

‘What on earth is this?’

‘Was there some big religious festival yesterday?’, a friend asked at the gym today!

‘Not to my knowledge’, I replied, aware that today is the feast of Corpus Christi & wondering if some Church was celebrating it early…

‘Yes’ he continued, ‘there was a big group of elderly people blocking all the traffic & priests walking backwards carrying something.’

Definitely sounded like a Catholic procession to me as I smiled at how he was describing it & the fact that he had no clue what any of it meant only that it was blocking traffic & caused him to be late!

‘Poor Jesus’, I thought, so unloved & so unknown & yet, what a great opportunity to do some evangelisation as I explained to him that the priest was carrying a consecrated host in a special item called a monstrance.

He looked at me like I had two heads as I smiled like a Cheshire cat!

‘Well they were blocking traffic’, he quipped as interiorly I thought of the traffic jam in purgatory with all the people just like him who devoted so little time to the spiritual life.

‘I believe everyone gets to heaven’, he continued as I was disappointed that someone so intelligent in many ways could be so naive.

‘At least you have made progress’ I winked, ‘last year you said you didn’t believe in any afterlife & now you are talking about heaven!’

For once, he had nothing to say as I vowed to pray more for him!

However, the encounter was a reminder of how we must evangelise more when we do our ‘Catholic processions’ because there are many people watching & wondering who literally have no clue whatsoever what it’s all about.

And so today, many of us will Celebrate Corpus Christi & there will be many Eucharistic processions around the world. Let’s challenge ourselves to reach out to those watching with perplexed faces, reminding ourselves that Eucharistic Jesus loves each & every one of them & longs that they come to know Him!

Let us be outward focused as we remind ourselves that had we grown up under different circumstances or cultures, we too could be looking on saying ‘who are that bunch of old folks, murmuring as they follow a priest about as he holds something?!!

Sacred heart of Jesus, help us to love as you love & have your patience, gentleness & understanding!

Blessed feast of Corpus Christi to all.

A ‘Divine Appointment’!!

Yesterday, I had a dance class in Soho & afterwards I went for a drink & Karaoke afterwards.

Singing & dancing is great fun but it’s also a great way to meet new people & evangelise in a very fun & friendly way, especially as you meet the people on their territory while they are helping & teaching you!

Arriving at the Karaoke bar, I went downstairs & due to limited seating, a guy happened to sit beside me. He seemed kind, a bit lonely & of what looked like Indian origins.

Gradually we got talking & it turns out that although Indian, he grew up in Mauritius & so spoke French. He was delighted to learn that not only do I speak French but I also knew a little bit of Creole & a few phrases in Hindi.

‘What do you do for work?’, he questioned to which I replied about working in the Church & LGBT Ministry.

‘Do you do conversion therapy?’, he stammered with a look of fear in his eyes.

Relieved to learn that I didn’t, he explained to me the usual story of being gay, moving to the U.K., coming out & then deciding to stay.

Still, he seemed a little sad so as I prayed in my heart, he began to tell me about the pain of his 5 year relationship breaking up & his partner cheating on him.

The night continued with some songs until it was time to go & that’s when he opened up even more!

‘I didn’t tell you but my grandmother died today & I came out tonight because I’m staying in a hotel & didn’t want to spend all the evening alone thinking about it & feeling sad!’
Immediately I gave him a hug & asked if I could say a prayer for both him, & his grandma & of course he agreed.

‘You are very positive’, he commented.

‘You have seen something spiritual in your life, I know from how you talk & your aura!!’

Smiling, I began to tell him about my visions of Our Lady, her gentle love & her love for him & realising that I didn’t have any miraculous medals with me, I took off the one that I was wearing & gave it to him.

Needless to say, he was profoundly touched & so was I. Imagine how loving God is that on the day of his grandma’s death, he’d wander into a gay bar where God had arranged for him to meet someone to console him, pray with him & point him towards our heavenly mother, Our Lady!.

We call these ‘divine appointments’ in evangelisation circles & what an honour to be used by God in this way, even if it means making a fool of myself singing & dancing!!

Lord, help us to reach out to others in new & creative ways & to bring your love to places where it may never reach otherwise!!

Thank you Dear Jesus!

Yesterday, I went to mass at St. James’ Church in London’s ‘Spanish Place’. It’s a beautiful Church which still has railings on the altar where one can kneel to receive Holy Communion.

As I approached the railings, I noticed an old lady beside me & what happened next, touched me profoundly.

The priest approached her & gave her the sacred host which she received on her hands which were open in the most reverent of ways. Then, taking a moment as the priest had now moved on to me, she looked at the host, whispered ‘Thank you dear Jesus ‘ & then with the utmost delicacy, placed the host in her mouth.

It was such a beautiful thing to witness, especially in our busy society & world which gives so little love & reverence to the sacred, not to mention to the Blessed Sacrament!

It also reminded me of something that I have read so many times, that if one receives Jesus with a closed heart, then He can do nothing for a soul because He works with their free will.

However, the opposite is also true. When we receive Jesus with a humble surrendered heart, willing to do His will in our lives, then the sky is the limit, He can & will do AMAZING things in our lives.

And so, a reminder to us all to nurture the gift of faith through prayer, through spiritual reading & friendships, through learning from others like this older lady & let’s be assured, God will work miracles in our lives!

Message from Heaven!

Yesterday was ‘Trinity Sunday’, a celebration of the Holy Trinity & so fittingly, as I sat in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, I received a profound message:

‘My precious Children,

I am God! I am three & yet I am one, living in a perfect communion of harmony & love for all of eternity!
I am infinite in every way! Infinite in power, infinite in wisdom, infinite in beauty, infinite in intelligence & most of all, infinite in both love & mercy.
In love, I made each one of you who did not even exist & in love, I keep each one of you in existence! Even those of you who do not believe that I exist, or those of you that hate me, it is I who keep you in existence too just like a mother feeding a difficult child, hoping one day that things will change.
My mercy, my children sees your vulnerability & your weakness. Even those of you who see no need for me & think you are strong, in my eyes, you are the weakest because true strength comes from love & God is love!!
In my infinite goodness, I wish to transform you into strong and healthy children, children of God, children of love.
I do this with my transformative grace which touches your hearts & draws you to the things of the spirit such as prayer & detachment from all worldly desires & objects.
Yet my children, how reluctantly so many of you even give me 5 minutes? What athlete would ever win a race with only 5 minutes of training?
My little ones, don’t you see, the meaning of your short lives here is to become saints. When you die, your clothes & cars & houses & careers will all be left behind.
The only thing that will go with you is your spiritual soul & if you haven’t taken care of it, not only will it be small & void of any virtues, it will be black & tarnished from a lifetime of unholiness.
My children, I do not want this for you. I desire you to arrive at heaven’s door beaming with as much light as possible so that you can spend all of eternity glowing with that same intensity.
Come my children, dedicate your short lives to prayer & spiritual transformation & let your lives be an example to others.’

Get me some Holy Water!!

Yesterday was Saturday & I was having a sort of a ‘day off’. In ministry, there is no such thing really as a day off but on certain days, the Lord leads you away to rest, recharge & chill out a bit more than on other days!

So, there I was strolling in the local area when I decided to go for a beer in a friendly place where I go to every now & then.

Upon arriving, they were all super stressed. They had some sort of a burst pipe & the whole bar was flooded!!

One of the staff members is a  Christian Croatian lady & and sometimes I speak to her in my pigeon Croatian that I picked up from spending almost 2 years in the Balkans.

‘Bog te blagoslovio’ I smiled (God bless you) adding a ‘Bože, pomozi mi’ (God help me).

‘Holy Water’ she replied. ‘Get me more Holy water’ as she handed me my beer & refused to let me pay (thank you Jesus).

Slowly enjoying my beer, I was watching them all trying to fix the leak & reflecting on how things like flooding & all sorts of other mishaps can so very often be associated with demonic activity.

As I was praying for them, the guy in front of me suddenly spilt his drink over!! If I had a pound for every time that happens when I pray, I’d be a rich man!!! When demons get annoyed,  they begin to manifest annoyed, they bev

Leaving, I decided to go back to the Church & get my friend some holy water, impressed that she had already used the large bottle I gave her a few months back.

Some five minutes later, I arrived back with 2 bottles of London’s finest exorcised holy water & I found my friend sitting outside having a cigarette & at her wits end!!

Handing her the water, she marched into the bar like a soldier who had been handed a new gun & I knew that the bar was going to get one heck of a blessing!!

‘So much for a day off’ I thought even if the whole incident filled me with great joy, especially seeing this lady’s faith!

So folks, don’t forget to pray & bless your houses & work places with holy water every now & then!  Just as spiders & mice often find their way inside, so too can these invisible importers which is why holy water, holy music & above all, holy lives, are essential in keeping them away!!

Have a Holy Sunday!!

Why do I bother?

A few days ago, I was talking to a priest & I mentioned how frustrating it can be at times in Catholic environments talking about God!

There you are, full of enthusiasm & joy & so often, looking back at you are blank faces, void of any great expression or enthusiasm or sense of engagement….your talk ends & they say ‘thank you very much’ with a tone as if you had just read out the latest obituaries!!

The priest smiled gently & said;

‘Yes, sometimes I too wonder why I bother as I preach the Sunday sermon & watch some come in late, others fumbling with their newsletters, others on their phones….’

It was refreshing to talk to such an honest man!

‘However’, he continued, ‘Jesus calls us to be faithful & to leave the results to Him so we must not let it get to us!!’

Wise words I thought as sometimes I wish I could give some of my Catholic friends an electric shock of God’s love & enthusiasm & get them all out on the streets evangelising with joy & zeal & a new sense of freshness!

However, it did remind me of why we should pray for priests & also helped me understand why some priests lose their enthusiasm, lose their joy & end up falling away over time!

As lay people, we have a huge responsibility in helping our priests & in ‘ushering in the Holy Spirit’. We must be so careful not to just go through the motions with cold disinterested hearts who have heard it all before.

Similarly, for any of us involved in public ministry, we have an equally large responsibility not to get frustrated or to just give up when we feel like we are preaching to hearts of stones who seem so very far away from surrendering to the overwhelming love & goodness of Our God!!

Signs from Heaven!

One of the best things about following Jesus is the signs he puts on our paths to confirm that we are on the right road & over the last few days, I have had many!

The first one was on Monday evening! My stomach had been upset all day & I really didn’t feel like going to the Karaoke bar in Soho. However, deep in my heart, I knew that God was asking me to go & to trust in Him!

Arriving, I said hello to my friends, put in my song & waited at the bar!

Suddenly, someone approached me thanking me with all her heart for the miraculous medal that I had given her a few months back.

She explained how her Catholic grandma had died & that when she was broken-hearted, she picked up the chain with the medal & wore it. It was the only religious item she had & she felt both consoled & connected to her grandma with Our Lady around her neck!

I was so touched by her sincerity as I thought of my cupboard full of all sorts of religious items, a great reminder to share them even more!!

And then there was yesterday evening when I was invited to a barbecue with a group of very fun older gay Christian men!

One asked me to pray about a certain situation & immediately in my spirit, I saw the child Jesus in the room shining enormous graces on him.

‘You should pray to the child Jesus for that’, I smiled as I knew he couldn’t see what I saw.

He was baffled as he explained that he had never heard of anyone praying to the child Jesus & then suddenly, two days previously he felt inspired to Google the ‘Child Jesus’ & had just started a novena (9 day prayer) to him!

‘This is crazy, I literally started praying to Him on Monday. He said ‘pray to me as a child because you find it hard to trust me as a man’’.

I was smiling, delighted for him & at the same time not surprised! One sort of gets used to signs when they’ve had a life like mine but the joy that goes with them never goes away.

I then asked the guys if I could pray with them & as my hand heated up like an iron, I could feel torrents of supernatural power hitting them & touching their hearts.

One, a big guy was crying & crying as God was healing him more from years of shame & pain.

All & all, such an amazing evening & yet another confirmation of God’s overwhelming love for the gay community and His tender understanding of the horrendous traumas & agony that so many of us have been through!

So! Keep going, keep trusting & God will give you signs too & for anyone interested in praying to the child Jesus…here is a link:

https://share.google/ggZaG7gNisYI5EUT9

That’s TOTAL CRAP!!

Last Sunday, we had Pentecost & as good as the celebrations in the Church were, the big challenge of our time is bringing Pentecost to those who don’t go to Church….a task I may add that few want to do!

With that in mind, the Holy Spirit sent me to the heart of Soho for Pentecost & I wasn’t disappointed.

Arriving at the famous ‘Old Compton’ pub, I saw a few regular faces, said a few hellos & waited for the rest.

‘You’re very handsome’ an older guy said to me as he stripped me from head to foot with his laser eyes.

Rather than reply ‘and you are not, you dirty old perv’, I smiled graciously flattered by the compliment even if internally I didn’t really take it seriously.

We began to chat & turns out that he was from Ireland & he was very intrigued by my ministry & thought it was great!

Behind us was sitting a guy with a face looking so miserable that I thought it might eclipse the sun.

‘You look like you are having a bad day’ I jested with my Irish smile!

‘Working tomorrow, driving a rubbish truck’ he replied as he inquired if I was Irish!

‘Yes, he’s Irish & he’s a priest’ shouted the other guy to which he objected :

‘You can’t be gay & catholic’.
Suddenly the the other guy blasted:

‘That’s total crap’

As he began explaining!

‘This is great’ I thought! Neither of them even go to Church & here they are evangelising each other & I don’t have to do a thing!!

Leaving them to it, I proceeded to my next bar, the King’s Arms on Poland Street where there is karaoke on a Sunday night!

I decided I would sing ‘That’s life ‘ as I found some of the lyrics very meaningful, especially for people like myself who have experienced their fare share of hurts in life.

Now, as I’m a regular there, I got talking to a few people & I happened to mention that I was giving a talk on Tuesday about baptism in the Holy Spirit.

‘You are so blessed to have experienced God’ responded one man who told me that he too was a Christian & had experienced Jesus many years ago.

‘My parents died and I was orphaned as a kid, I was in total despair & felt like suicide. Then I was invited to this Christian camp where people prayed with me & suddenly, I experienced God’s love. I immediately knew I had a father in heaven, that I was loved & wanted & while it didn’t take away all the trauma, it reduced significantly & I got the strength to go on.’

How amazing & how amazing at the bar to be having this conversation!

My turn to sing came & as I blasted out:

‘Each time I find myself Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get Back in the race’

I thought of all the people in the bar & indeed elsewhere in desperate need of the Holy Spirit to find meaning, love & purpose in their lives after suffering traumas, pains, humiliations etc.

And so the mission goes on! Today is Tuesday so I will be giving my talk on baptism in the Holy Spirit at the Church but perhaps, with God’s grace, one day I’ll be giving the same talk at the bar, among the loved children of God, so often forgotten about by our Church who for all their talk of the Holy Spirit, so very often seem to resist the main message: ‘Go out into the WHOLE world…..’

Fake Priest!!

At my local shop, I always have a bit of banter with the security guard. He’s from Algeria & quite a prayerful Muslim who has a lot of respect for other religions!

He calls me a priest, probably because he can’t understand how one can work in the Church without being a priest & the fact that I’ve given up trying to explain.

Anyway, the other day was quite hot here in London so I was wearing shorts & a sleeveless t-shirt as I cycled back from Soho.

Popping into the shop for a quick errand, there he was with a big smile! We always speak in french & it didn’t take him long to start teasing me!!

‘Look at you, you’re not a priest, you’re a fake priest’ he joked as he commented further on my clothes!!

Of course he was only joking, yet his joke had a certain truth! People expect priests to be dressed or to behave in a certain way & when they don’t, they get rattled!!

‘Good job he hasn’t met someone of the really charismatic priests’ I thought. He’d be sending for the exorcist!!

As my weekend continued, a trainer at the gym introduced me to a client of his, again as a priest! It’s so embarrassing & yet kind of fun to see how nice people are when they think it’s true. Ironically, this conversation was also in french & turns out the lady was Catholic.

She explained that she was a part of the same parish as me but because she found the parish priest a bit grumpy, she went elsewhere!

‘You’d be grumpy at times too if at almost 80, you were running one of the largest parishes in West London’ I reflected as I smiled, happy that she had found another parish.

As I was pondering over it all this morning, it motivated me to pray for priests even more.

Sometimes people’s expectations are not realistic as they forget that a priest is a man too & can’t always be dressed in a suit!

Sometimes people forget that a priest can be stressed too & that God does not call perfect people to the priesthood…

However, it’s good too that people have certain expectations from the priest, to hold him to a certain standard, but let’s pray that these standards are realistic & that lay people can come alongside the priests to help them rather than criticise them for their obvious shortcomings!

Lord, bring healing to all priests who may be feeling discouraged & help the laity to better understand the life of a priest in 2026!!

What was his name?!

Yesterday, a new guy moved into our house & I was given the task of showing him about.

He arrived with two friends, one with a van to help him move all of his stuff & trust me, he needed a van!!

All these opportunities are great for evangelisation as they often mean talking to people about our Catholic faith who haven’t been in a church for years.

After unloading the van & bringing everything upstairs, we all went for lunch & one man’s story really hit me.

A very kind gay man, his life partner of 36 years died only a few years ago after a 5 year battle with Parkinson’s. Even as he spoke about it, the love & pain was palpable but the saddest part is that came next….

Shortly after the death, he met his dad who said:

‘Sorry about, what was his name?’ As he muttered some other name which only vaguely resembled the guys dead partner’s name.

It was like a bullet through his heart & after that he cut contact with his father completely as the hurt & disrespect far outweighed any ‘father-son’ bond.

He continued to explain that many people abandoned him during the grieving process but then when they were in need of help, reached out to him for support.

Sadly, this is what many people in the gay community experience & especially in church circles where so often, same-sex relationships are seen as categorically wrong & evil!!

In fact, in many cases, Church folk are over the moon when relationships like this break up, celebrating with St. Michael the Archangel & the saints (or so they think) for breaking up such evil.

Of course, these hurts only further deepen the rift between the gay community & the Church & I know many people, just like this man, who have cut ties totally & completely with the Church, not because they suddenly stopped believing in God but because the pain, rejection & lack of love in the community was too much for them to bare.

It makes me think how fortunate I am to be here in London, surrounded by many people who have accepted me & who are open to learning about LGBT issues.

However, it also reminds me that so many people are not so blessed & why we must continue to pray that our church communities all over the world become places of love, acceptance, prayer, compassion & inclusion.

Jesus, have mercy on this man’s broken & grieving heart.

‘Father forgive them, they know not what they do/ say’.

Are you a part of the Circus?

Connecting people has always been a way that God has used me, especially as I tend to know all types of people, a lot who wouldn’t naturally talk to one another.

This can be fun as it opens people’s minds, breaks down walls & builds community. It however can also be quite stressful as this little story will demonstrate!

A few years ago I befriended an older man at the gym. He used to be a professional ballet dancer in Paris & as providence would have it he sort of became my unofficial trainer. With a Russian background, he is a ‘no-nonsense’ type of person that doesn’t suffer fools lightly.

More recently, I befriended another girl who was doing these amazing handstands, turns out that she was a gymnast & had represented her country at the world championships!! Any wonder she was good!

Now the two didn’t know eachother & if there is one thing I’ve noticed about professionals across all fields, it’s that they can be quite critical of each other.

So I’d been working on it for a while, mentioning the gymnast to the ballet dancer & the ballet-dancer to the gymnast…

As providence would have it, yesterday they were beside each other training & so it was the ideal opportunity to say ‘do you guys know eachother’, already aware they didn’t.

‘No’ the gymnast smiled followed by

‘Nice to meet you, are you a part of the circus?!!’

I nearly died especially knowing how much my ballet friend would dislike the circus, not to mention being a part of it!!

Fortunately, as I burst out laughing, the tension eased & the two got talking about their respective professions without a screaming match.

The entire situation did make me laugh though as these types of events are very typical of what happens in the ministry of evangelisation! We are forever meeting people whether athletes or clergy or drag queens & trying to build bridges, opening opportunities for sharing, vulnerability & changing people’s outlook & while we do our best, ultimately we can’t be responsible for what people might say, including;

‘Are you a part of the circus?’

Golden Oldie!!

One of the great things about being a sociable person is that one gets to meet people of all types and ages…

Recently, I have been blessed to meet a remarkable older lady who originally comes from Germany!

Despite a life of very painful trials and now in her 80’s, she shows up at the gym & any time I see her on the streets, she’s always so well dressed & in good cheer.

Jesus tells us in the Bible that when we are fasting, not to go around with long faces & looking for attention & of course, in that context, He was talking about food.

However, there are other people fasting in a much more invisible way! They are fasting from the pain in their hearts & life’s hurts that could so easily drag them down & keep them in bed all day. They are fasting from self-pity, from unforgiveness, from bitterness & with God’s help, getting up in the morning & bringing joy to the world.

Yesterday, as I spoke to my friend, she was vulnerable as she expressed the thoughts of feeling ‘old & ugly’ at times.

Now of course at 80, she wasn’t looking as she did at 21 but yet, what was shining through even more was the twinkle of life & determination in her eyes & a very warm kind heart.

Whether in the city or in the country, the world is full of older people who can be tremendously fun & tremendously inspiring!

Of course, this isn’t true for all older people, which is why we should all do our best to age gracefully with the joy of Jesus in our hearts, trusting that at the resurrection of the body, Jesus will do a better job than any plastic surgeon!!

So remember! Whatever our age, we can be an inspiration by ‘living  life in a way that makes God credible’.

Invisible in the City!.

On Saturday evening, I was sitting during Eucharistic Adoration when all of a sudden, I heard Jesus talking in my heart, an experience that I’m very familiar with for many years now! What He said made me reflect & smile, perhaps it will have a similar effect on you…

‘Imagine if it was the other way around’ he suggested.

‘Imagine that you were invisible, sitting on that chair & that nobody could see you.

Imagine that only one person knew that you were really there, just invisible, & how you would long for that person to come & talk to you, to tell you what’s going on in their lives & to share their troubles.

Imagine that person now goes on tells other people to come, telling them that you are really there, just invisible.Imagine the difficulty in convincing them, the rejection, the struggle & yet your joy when some believe & comes.

Such my child is my dilemma! Although you don’t see me, I see & hear you all perfectly, even more perfectly than you can see or hear!

I long to bless your lives but for this to happen, you must talk to me, learn to listen to me & follow my inspirations ‘

It was Saturday night & already I could feel Jesus’ pain. A massive city full of parties & noise, drowning out the voice of Jesus & His living presence with us!

However, I also felt very blessed that even in the middle of a busy city like London, it’s entirely possible to hide away with the Lord, empty our hearts of our burdens & soak in his reassuring love!

Invisible but present! Visit Jesus in the Church, you won’t be disappointed!!

Michael!

As I was at home on Friday evening, I felt this sudden ‘Holy Spirit Inspiration’ to go to the cinema, somewhere I don’t go very often!

Hopping onto my phone, I looked at what was showing and there it was, jumping out at me, a film called ‘Michael’. It was the story of Michael Jackson.

A quick McDonald’s & a short cycle later & there I was at the cinema wondering what the film was going to be like!

It began by the young life of Michael Jackson & his very angry father who beat him all the time. Michael was different, cheeky & a bit of a dreamer & it exasperated his dad.

Immediately, I understood why God had drawn me to the film! My own dad was much the same when I was a child & all I really remember is how much I hated him. I even hoped he’d die at times or if not, that maybe I would!!

Michael grew up & became famous & of course the father wasn’t happy. He wanted  control because he was ‘the boss’!!

It took years for Michael to eventually escape from his family & to live his own life & perform as he desired rather than how his father desired.

Now the film ended there, it didn’t go into any of the controversies surrounding Michael’s life afterwards, much to the disliking of some critics. It was what you would call a ‘feel good movie’ & it certainly had that effect on me as I found myself crying many healing tears, reminiscing on my own escape from a very controlling & oppressive family in Ireland.

Cycling back, I found myself smiling at how God can use something ‘unspiritual’ such as the cinema or whatever, to bring us major emotional & spiritual healings. ‘Spirituality in the city’ one might say!!!

It was also a reminder to pray, to pray for singers, to pray for performers because behind all the glam, they too carry the deep inner wounds of their childhoods & their background & are equally in need of the healing restoring love of Jesus Christ!

Finally, let’s be attentive to where the Holy Spirit is leading us for more healing, it might not be where we think!!

What are your sins?

Some weeks ago, I wrote about a wonderful experience that I had in confession! Today’s post is sadly about the opposite & is a good reminder to us that we must pray for priests!!

Arriving before mass, I kindly greeted the priest as he asked me if I wanted confession which is usually at this time. I was early so there was no rush…

I began by explaining the context of a very painful situation that I have been dealing with & the many unholy thoughts & emotions that I was harbouring in my heart.

‘That’s all very beautiful’ he interrupted, ‘What are your sins?’, without the least sound of empathy or compassion regarding the matter at hand.

‘Those are my sins’ I replied as patiently as possible, already feeling both hurt & patronised by his attitude.

‘Feelings are not sins’ he scolded me to which I calming replied:

‘I am aware of that Father, you know I too am well educated, perhaps even more so than you & while feelings are not sins, thoughts can be & as I mentioned, I have been entertaining lots of less than holy thoughts.’

He calmed down a little, realising that he wasn’t dealing with a monkey in the confession box & began talking about actions…

I was somewhat surprised to be honest. Imagine someone plotting to kill someone else & then going to confession and the priest saying:

‘No need to come, you didn’t actually kill him!!’

Should he go & kill them so afterwards he can get absolution?!!

Similarly, someone entertaining very impure thought….

Anyway, as he continued to lecture me with almost no sensitivity to the situation, I began to feel that I was on trial.

As a tear welled up in my eye, I heard a little gentle voice in my heart, Jesus who I am very familiar with whisper:

‘Say no more!’

Ironically, my silence caused him to talk & talk & talk. I felt by the end that he was preaching me a sermon except that the real recipient was himself!!

Finally, the ordeal ended & despite the drama, I was happy to have kept my cool & to have received absolution.

Mass followed & I half thought of going elsewhere so I could avoid making eye contact with him & just focus on prayer! In the end I stayed & all was well.

As I left, I said to myself:

‘Thank you Jesus, obviously you want me to pray & offer that humiliation & suffering for that priest today.’ (An exercise I’m well practised in!!)

However, it is a reminder of how many people avoid confession because of these types of experiences.

Confession isn’t easy, usually one feels a bit nervous, often one talks about painful & complex situations that can be even difficult to articulate & if on top of that, the priest is abrupt & irritable, it can be the final straw.

Let’s pray for priests, that they can be gentle & compassionate as they hear confessions & let’s also pray for those hurt by priests, who haven’t been to confession for maybe 20 years because of similar situations!!

Pray for me too so that I may have more patience for everything that I have!!

Soup with an Archbishop!

One of the great advantages of being involved in healing & evangelisation ministry in is that you get to meet everyone, from the bars in Soho to the top-dogs in the Church, it’s quite a variety. Last night was no different as I made my way to a house-mass with a retired Archbishop!!!

Most people would probably dread meeting such a figure! Questions like what will I say or perhaps more to the point, what will I not say!! However, for whatever reason, I’ve never really minded and have always found myself quite a peace cracking a few jokes to ease the tension in the room…

I think that it could be quite fun being a bishop & observing how so many people are afraid of you for no other reason that the fact that you are a bishop. That said, I think it could be quite sad & lonely too as beneath it all, the bishop is a human being & a man too!

As the mass began, it was clear to us all, including the bishop that we were not going to win a singing competition & yet, somehow out atrocious singing bonded us all even more in both joy & humility….

Soon it was time for the sermon & we were not disappointed! The bishop began to talk with great love, care & sincerity about the importance of encouragement & encouraging one another in our gifts!!

Gifts he explained are wonderful things given by God to each one of us & we must recognise them & use them.

He understood that many don’t use their gifts because maybe they have been crushed or because they think that they would be showing off or something but that, God doesn’t want people to think like that & so we must encourage one another & build one another up!!

Brilliant I thought as my stomach was already thinking about the soup we would have after the mass, made by Kristina who certainly has a cooking & hospitality gift!!

As the mass ended & the soup came out, it was beautiful for us all to sit about the bishop & chat. It’s been clear for many years that the Lord has given me the ‘gift of the gab’ & so I had ample opportunity to exercise it with the bishop!!

We were all full of joy, talking about life while conscious that each person there was carrying various burdens & worries in their hearts.

I was pondering how blessed I was to be talking once again with such a nice, kind & witty bishop & thought to myself ‘if the people I meet in Soho actually met the Archbishop & other bishops & priests, they’d soon see how human, ‘normal’ & down to earth they are & so many of their hurts & fears would melt away!

So, thank you Jesus & let us pray that all unhealthy fears that so many people carry in relation to priests & bishops simply melt away & that we can become a gifted people of love, support, encouragement, healing & joy!

No to ‘Bread & butter Christianity’!!

Yesterday, the Holy Spirit sent me to the 12.30 mass at Westminster Cathedral!
As the homily began, my ears perked up as the priest began talking about the Holy Spirit & how the surest sign of the Spirit is joy, even in the middle of persecution.

He continued to talk about the POWER of the Spirit & how God doesn’t want us to be ‘bread & butter ‘ Christians but to be joyful strong  SOLDIERS!!

Soldiers he explained don’t get hurt at every little word, don’t wallow in self-pity & aren’t afraid! They eat ‘meat’ & are not still drinking milk like baby-christians…

It was brilliant! I wish I had recorded it as it was a clear reminder to us all that being a Christian isn’t about being a walkover or a ‘Santa’ type of figure, but it’s about being STRONG, JOYFUL & EMPOWERED by the Spirit of God!

And so, as Pentecost is coming, let’s prepare ourselves for the Holy Spirit by preparing our mindset for His character so that we can allow Him to work boldly through us and to be His soldiers of love, mercy, truth & justice everywhere we go just like this wonderful priest.

Dentist, Jesus-Style!!!

Every opportunity is a potential opportunity for ‘evangelisation’ because at the end of the day, evangelisation is quite simply about being ourselves & sharing the reason for the joy on our hearts & the spring in our step!

And what better occasion to be joyful than a trip to the dentist as I had yesterday!!

Walking in, the dentist asked me how I was and I couldn’t help but feel that he wasn’t expecting an upbeat positive response!!

I guess most of his patients hate going there & he’s probably used to the vibe…

So when I replied:

‘Super, God hasn’t stopped loving me so what could be better!!’

He got a pleasant surprise!!

‘That’s right, you’re catholic aren’t you & you are always joyful when you come!!’

(Just shows how people observe & listen to more than we think.)

He then went on to tell me that he too is a Christian and is ‘non-denominational’. He explained that his sister is Catholic and that he recently visited the ‘Oratory’ in Oxford for a communion or something and that it didn’t impress him much!!

Smiling I said:

‘Yeah, if it’s joy you’re looking for then I wouldn’t go there, they are all a bit posh & high-brow’!

He was laughing as he invited me to sit on the ‘Chair of death’…

The examination started:

‘8 clear, 7 composite, 6 amalgam, 5 clear. ….’.

I felt like I was at Nasa not to mention that it was a conversation about my mouth!!

‘All good’  he said as he showed me how to better brush my teeth for the hundredth time.

Smiling, I mentioned something about a ‘scaling’ & he asked me if I’d like him to do it…

Just shows how people go the extra mile when we smile & when Jesus is in the room.

However, my joy was short lived as he picked up that horrible machine that scrapes the tartare from your gums while the hygienist sprays freezing air or something on your mouth!!

‘Why on earth did I ask him about scaling?’  I pondered, wondering if at any moment he was going to hit a nerve & send me through the roof in agony!!

Eventually, the ordeal ended & as I got out of the chair, our religious conversation continued!

I told him that one of the priests where I live was actually a part of the ‘Oratory’ & may be a patient of his.

‘Richard’, he said while adding ‘he’s so nice!!’

The Holy Spirit was definitely in the room, convicting him that Catholics can be Christian too!!!

Leaving with a big smile, I noticed how my joy contrasted with the gloom in the waiting room & as I joked with the secretary, I left, thanking God for such a fun trip to the dentist.

I wasn’t back to the house when I bumped into Noreen, a lovely Irish woman that I always joke with.

‘Growing up, we had no toothpaste, our teeth were rotten by the age of 12 & the dentist would yank them out without any anaesthetic!!’

I was feeling weak at the thought of it as interiorly, I was thanking my mother who was very strict about us looking after our teeth as kids!!

All & all though, a wonderful little afternoon of ‘evangelisation’ by just being me & being a little bit outrageous for the glory of God!

Lord of the Dance!

Yesterday, the Holy Spirit prompted me to go to Hillsong here in London. For anyone that doesn’t know, it’s not a hill or a mountain with a band singing lullabies as you climb, it’s a very lively pentecostal Church!

As they don’t have their own church building as they have in their native Australia, here in London they rent a theatre hall  (the very beautiful ‘Dominian Theatre’) for their services.

Now if there is one thing that Hillsong is famous for, it’s worship music & a lot of the charismatic worship music that we listen to as Catholics actually comes from Hillsong!!

In case anyone is thinking ‘heresy, what could us Catholics possibly get from protestants’, let’s take a deep breath!! The Catholic Church fully recognises baptism & the gifts of the Holy Spirit in the protestant Church despite different beliefs around the Eucharist etc. And so, we as Catholics can 100% benefit from many things in the protestant Churches such as worship as in Hillsing & also many excellent healing minestries etc.

After a ten minute wait in the queue to get in,  I made a rush for the front where one is very close to the stage & to the live band that it playing. Sometimes people get out of their seats & dance with joy up front like being at a concert…..and this week, I was determined to be one of them!!

By 12 pm the Theatre was pretty full & looking around, it was so amazing to see that most people were far younger than me, a welcome change from Catholic Churches where she old ladies think that I’m the baby!

After maybe 20 minutes of amazing worship, the pastor came on stage to deliver an amazing talk! He was young, funny, charming & most of all, he was on fire with love for Jesus who had performed many miracles of healing in his life & in the lives of his family members. His faith & enthusiasm was contagious & yet it was very real & grounded as he constantly emphasised the need for prayer, spending time with God, perseverance & trusting through trials. As a Catholic, there was absolutely nothing he said that went against our faith & on the contrary, he had an enthusiasm that I’ve rarely if ever seen a catholic speaker with!

The service ended after 2 hours & as the Lord would have it, a new Irish friend happened to be there & we went for a coffee, praising God for the gift of Hillsong while laughing & joking about the madness of God’s ways & how different our lives are from how we grew up all those years ago in Ireland.

Cycling home, I called into Tyburn convent, a contemplative monastery where I spent 30 minutes with Jesus in absolute silence. Although, a radical change from Hillsong, the presence of the Lord and His love was  equally tangible & I found myself in tears of joy as I thanked Jesus for the gift of praise and of worship and equally, for the gift of silence & contemplative prayer!

Reflecting on it all, I thought of how complimentary Churches could be if we all worked together & how wonderful it would be to have more worship in the Catholic Church but, equally more silence & contemplation in the pentecostal Churches.

Let’s pray for that this week, for a spirit of unity & love among the different Christian Churches & above all, for us all to grow even more  life with Jesus, whether it’s at the worship if Hillsong or the silence of Tyburn…..or both!!

Healing in the air of London!

One of my passions over the years has been healing ministry, partly because I have been in so much need of it & partly because it’s just so fascinating!!

And so, it will come as no surprise to you that the Holy Spirit guides me to many different healing events all over London! Today, I’m just going to talk about one such event that touched me deeply, a special service in Westminster Cathedral for the healing of victims of abuse, presided by our wonderful new Archbishop Moth.

Cycling to the Cathedral, I arrived 2 minutes late & so was rushing in to find a seat. However, there was no need to panic as there was only a very small attendance with a handful of people scattered about up front.

Somewhat surprised, I was also delighted as it’s much easier to pray in such small & intimate settings & between the beautiful music & heartfelt prayers, I felt deeply touched. The highlight however was Archbishop  Moth’s short talk which was as humble as it was profound..

He mentioned many different types of abuse from the abuse of priests & religious, spiritual abuse, domestic abuse & more.

He highlighted how abuse has affected lives, crushed people & left many in darkness while  so often, the Church has turned a blind eye.

He spoke of the importance of having safe spaces where people can heal & also prayed for the grace to seek justice….

As the service ended, we were all invited to one of the small chapels to pray & to write our prayer intentions & place them on a small tres of remembrance and as there were only a few people,  I even got to meet the bishop & get a special blessing from him, as I thanked him for his talk!

Leaving, I felt a great sense of hope & a crucial reminder of how the ministry of healing is so linked to the need for truth, justice & restoration while reassured that our new Archbishop is so articulate & aware of these nuances.

Come Holy Spirit, bring great healing to all those victims of abuse, destroy the structures of abuse that still exist in our church & transform our Churches here in London into great places of healing, grace, justice & love!

Is there still hope for me?!

Not long ago, in this ministry of evangelisation, I met a guy that I hadn’t seen in 5 years!

When we got talking he said:

‘It’s so weird I should meet you now because only a few days ago, I was thinking that I need to do a retreat!’

Now, as providence would have it, he lives quite close to another church where I am very involved with the charismatic movement…….and, we were just beginning a 6 week ‘Life in the Spirit’ seminar!

I invited him & he came along & as we got chatting, he mentioned that he hasn’t been to confession for 15 years.

This isn’t unusual, especially for members of the gay community who have often been told at an early age that there is no hope for them.

Cutting to the chase, I told him more about my life & gently suggested that he goes to confession, not in a spirit of guilt but rather in a spirit of restoration & reconciliation.

It can be hard for gay people at times to go to confession, especially as they very often have been the victims of terrible abuse & wonder why it isn’t the abusers that are confessing instead!

This however, comes from a lack of understanding of what confession is and so when I explained that victims of abuse are usually plagued by self-hatred, shame, fear, anxiety etc. & that confession is about healing & forgiving the abusers in order to restore one’s own sense of dignity & self-worth, it began to make sense.

The next step was to find a suitable time & priest & here, Jesus asked me to trust rather than to over-plan! Westminster Cathedral on Thursday morning!!

We met up on Wednesday evening & I helped him to prepare a simple but sincere confession, still having no clue what priest he may fall on…

Thursday came & off he went to the cathedral & the results were incredible!!

Opening his wounded heart to the priest, he erupted crying as he explained how his father had totally rejected him many years ago & told him that all gays go to hell.

Full of gentle love, the priest reassured him that, that certainly wasn’t true & began quoting pope Francis! More & more tears followed & then the priest said:

‘You should go to Bayswater (Notting Hill) & meet a man called Michael who helps gay people cone back to the faith!!’

I must be more famous than I think!!

My friend explained how it was the same ‘Michael’ who sent him to confession!!!

You couldn’t make it up or plan it if you tried!!!

After the confession, my friend sent me about 20 messages, extatic with a feeling of love, joy, healing, freedom, acceptance & hope….

I must admit that it made me very emotional too, thinking of all the tears I’ve cried over the years, trusting that one day God would use me to bring others back to His loving heart.

Thank you Jesus for your loving heart, thank you for the amazing supernatural sacrament of reconciliation which when approached with a humble & loving heart, has literally the effect of bringing heaven onto earth & healing those deep wounds of rejection & shame that so many if us from religious backgrounds carry!

Praise be Jesus & YES, whoever you are, THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU!

Down but NOT Out!

As I was coming back to the Church today, a certain Irish man who has fallen on hard times was outside, sitting on the steps.

He was very upset as he has just become homeless and, because he doesn’t have a smartphone, he can’t even access his benefits (money with which he could at least pay for a hostel for a few nights).

Homeless people have always intrigued me from a young age, not so much the fact that they are homeless, but rather the bigger question: What made them homeless?

Now, as it happens, I’d spoken to this man once before and he told me about the horrible experiences that he had had with the Christian Brothers in Ireland.

“When you are told that you are useless from such a young age, what hope or chance do you have afterwards?’, he had lamented and, from some of own experiences over the years in the church,  I felt and understood at least some of his pain.

‘Do you have an old smartphone that you could give me?’, he asked both humbly & apologetically and although I desperately wanted to help him, I had to reply ‘no’.

Gentle soul that he is, he didn’t walk off as some in the homeless community do as soon as thet discover that you can’t help them and so, our conversation continued! Suddenly I realised that I had a few miraculous medals in my pocket, each in a little ‘Medjugorje LGBT Ministry ‘ pouch.

Handing him a medal, I explained to him that  I’m gay and that similar to him, I have very little contact with Ireland where I too have experienced horrendous rejection.

‘I’m homosexual as well’ he exclaimed while adding ‘it’s nobody’s business but mine!’

The pain was palpable & the reasons behind his hard times were heartbreakingly obvious, the old ‘Irish Gay Catholic’ chestnut once again!!

‘What about your family? Are they any help?’ I asked, already anticipating the answer:

‘The only reason any of them would contact me is if they needed a kidney!!’

That was a definite no!

Unfortunately at this stage, I had to go as I was rushing for an appointment but as I went upstairs to my room, I felt frustrated as I prayed to Our Lady for him……

Had I anything else to give this poor man except a few nice words & a miraculous medal and, is that the best we could do as a Church in light of all his suffering & pain which, let’s be honest, was inflicted by & through the Church & her cruel attitude towards gay people for centuries.

Upstairs, I bumped into Rayne, a beautiful gay catholic from the Philippines. I told him what happened and he suddenly said:

‘I know him, here, I have an old phone, he can have it!!’

Thank you Jesus & Mary!!

Beaming with joy, I rushed downstairs, hoping he was still about and to my surprise, I found him in the church, praying up the front.

He was over the moon to get the phone & at least have some hope of getting a hostel.

Hugging him as I left, I said to Jesus:

‘In a fair world, the Church should be putting him up and others like him in a hotel after all they have been through.’

And so, on that note, let us pray for all homeless people, LGBT or other & let us be the hands & feet of Jesus, helping them & advocating for them as best we can.

Our Lady of the miraculous medal, pray for us!!

(P.S. If you would like a miraculous medal too, get in touch through the contact section on the homepage)

‘It looks like a condom!!’

Evangelisation can be great fun & yet, it’s always full of surprises, last Monday night waa no exception…

I was at Karaoke at the Admiral Duncan when one young guy sang a quite well-known Christian song. When he came off stage, I asked him if he was Christian while complementing him on his singing.

He explained that he was & that he was also a stand-up comedian, trying to bring the message of Jesus to the secular world through comedy! How interesting, I thought as he then continued to explain the challenges of being Christian, gay & disabled.

As he mentioned being disabled a few times, I felt comfortable to ask him to further explain.  The poor guy explained how he struggles with autism, dyslexia & epilepsy on top of all the struggles of being a gay Christian.

My heart went out to him, especially as I could see that he was a very kind, genuine person that was very familiar with suffering, especially rejection.

Very naturally, I went onto tell him about what I do & my outreach to the LGBT community,  conscious that it’s only like a tiny drop in the ocean relative to the devastating suffering & pain out there.

He was delighted & so we exchanged Instagram details while he invited me to one of his comedy shows.

Suddenly, I remembered that I had a miraculous medal in my pocket which was in a little sealed plastic pouch with ‘Medjugorje LGBT Ministry ‘ written on it, together with a QR code for our website. Even though he wasn’t catholic, I felt to give it to him anyway!

Smiling with joy, he took it enthusiastically while jokingly saying;

‘As a gay man,  I have to tell you, this looks like a condom!!’

And the funny thing is, he was right, the little pouch did look remarkably like a condom, except for the fact that inside, Our Lady is offering a very different type of protection than a rubber condom!

It’s funny at times when you do evangelisation what people say. Often people have no way of relating to Holy things except in their own language & through things that are familiar to them. Some for example, will call ‘Holy Communion’ a ‘cookie’, not because they are trying to offend us but because, to them, it really does look like a cookie!!

Yet, if we keep our cool & don’t take these comments to heart, we will soon discover some very nice, kind, sincere & genuine people who are looking for love, looking for meaning & even though they might not know it yet, looking for Jesus!!!

So, let’s pray for all these people, invisible perhaps to the world but highly visible & precious to Jesus! May we also ask God for the grace to have a good sense of humour, slow to take offense while  full of His love, mercy & patience for all whom we meet!

‘I really don’t mind!!’

On Sunday, I went to mass at the Carmelite monastery in London’s posh Kensington area! During the mass, the priest mentioned that they were having a big meeting on Monday to discuss the future of the order, & that afterwards, there would be changes…

In other words, some priests might be leaving & others coming in a sort of reshuffling.

As he was saying all this with a big smile, I couldn’t help but feel that he wanted to get the heck out of London & was secretly hoping that his prayers might be answered!

Ten minutes later, the mass was over & in my usual cheeky manner, I asked him;

‘Are you hoping to move?!”

To which he gently smiled;

‘I really don’t mind, I am happy wherever I am, it makes no difference!!’

Now, while we all might have a personal preference, I thought that his answer was wonderful. He was simply willing to accept God’s will & go along with it & adapt to whatever situation that he found himself in! Such is the gift of surrender & detachment.

Now, we should remember that this type of a life is a special calling & that not everyone can be as detached as this. For example, someone in need of much medical attention would need to be close to a hospital, not because thet are unhealthily attached to it but because they need it. Yet, there is something in what he said for all of us!

We can so easily get attached to things in a way that blocks us from moving forwards. We can get attached to a job or a friend or even a prayer group & as a result, resist the Holy Spirit who may be trying to love our lives forwards!

So perhaps a thought & a prayer today! Ask ourselves in prayer if there is anything that we are unhealthily attached to, remembering that it could be a bad thing like alcohol, but it could also be a good thing that we love so much that we don’t want to let it go…

Then pray for that wonderful grace of surrender, trusting that God’s plans are always best & if He’s asking us to let go of something or someone,  it’s because He has something even better in store for us.

‘God, that your will may be done in my life, I surrender, I really don’t mind!!’

What do you want?

As I was strolling home on Saturday evening, just a minute from the Church, a bearded man in a black Mercedes stopped & shouted:

‘What do you want?’

Of course, I knew immediately that he was offering me drugs & was somewhat surprised at his bravado!

‘All good brother’ I replied to which he responded:

‘Take my number, call when you need, nice outfit man’

Talk about forward I thought, amused that I got yet another compliment for my clothes (which coming straight from ‘Temu’ cost about £10 last summer)!

‘No need man, Jesus is my drug’ I joked!

‘All praise to Allah’ he replied….

‘Nothing like talking about Jesus to annoy people, even when you’re not tying’, I reflected in my heart as he drove off, disappointed that his charm had fallen flat.

As I thought about it afterwards though, I had a few thoughts:

1. The struggles that recovering drug addicts  have to face must be enormous! I mean if you were feeling vulnerable on a Saturday night & this happened, you might have just said ‘What you got?!’

2. The irony that as this fellow was trying to deal me drugs, he was still prepared to defend Allah & deny Jesus!!

And let’s be honest, neither Jesus or Allah would be impressed with his activities on Saturday night! That’s certainly what one calls a ‘counter testimony’.

3. Despite all of that, there was something nice about him & he wasn’t aggressive & so I prayed for him when I got home. Perhaps that’s why God allows us to have such ‘unwanted encounters ‘ so that afterwards we will pray for the people?

4. While I didn’t give him a lecture about the danger of drugs or giving his life to Christ, I did manage to ‘preach by example’. In today’s broken society, this is arguably the best way of witnessing. ‘Actions speak louder than words ‘ as the saying goes. Of course ideally, we’d have actions & words & both in sync with eachother (something we often can fall short of).

So, let’s keep everyone struggling with drugs in prayer today & let’s also pray for those who deal, that they may have a change of heart & find a more life-giving way of earning their living!

I wonder what will happen to me next?!!

Cool Funky Priest

As I was walking towards Queensway on Friday evening just before 7pm, I suddenly heard someone shouting out ‘Michael’! Swiftly turning about, I barely recognised a French lady that I know. Her head was totally shaved, she was dressed up to the nines & she was sitting beside a scruffily dressed man with paint all over his hand!

‘Salut’ I smiled, delighted to reconnect with her! She’s very spiritual but sadly like many people, had very bad experiences in the church when she was younger.

Eventually our bus came, the 36 towards Victoria & so the 3 of us hopped on & went upstairs where we could barely find seats!

Maybe 10 minutes passed when suddenly she shouted ‘What’s your number?’ as she handed me a green marker & a newspaper on which she had already written in BIG LETTERS ‘Cool Funky Priest’.

I laughed especially because she knows well that I’m not a priest but as she looked at me she was telling me how I should be a priest because I have empathy, understand people & am ‘cool’…..

Embarrassed by all the complements & conscious that she hadn’t yet met my grumpy side, I smiled as I wrote down my number which she wanted to pass onto another french woman in need of help with her faith.

However, the event made me think! Many people are very uncomfortable around priests because a lot of them can be very formal & stiff & can seem to be totally disconnected from people’s reality & struggles. They relate more to priests that are ‘normal’, priests that are open about their lives & struggles too & priests who like to have a bit of a laugh & banter with the people (without compromising on holiness & prayer).

I got off the bus at Victoria & walked to the Cathedral hall for the charismatic prayer meeting where the average age was probably at least 60.

Looking around at the obvious lack of young people & thinking of the incident on the bus, ‘she’s right’ I thought, the church does need ‘cool funky (& holy) priests’!!

‘You can take it!!’

As you all know, we do a lot of evangelisation in London’s LGBT zone, Soho. Over the years we’ve gone from sitting timidly at the bar to singing karaoke, dancing & in Séamus’ case, even doing drag!!

Last Thursday, I was in Soho, not for Karaoke but for a ‘memorial service’ to mark the 27th anniversary of the atrocious bombing that killed 3 people & wounded dozens in the very same bar where Séamus & I have been singing, the ‘Admiral Duncan ‘.

So, when I arrived, it was very moving to see all the regulars, many of whom I know, there to show support & respect. One of the people I got chatting to was called Max & it was hard to recognise him because it’s the first time I’ve met him when he’s not in full drag!!

Of course I started joking about how short he was when not wearing heels & how fun the Karaoke was. The topic of the ‘Karaoke banter’ came up on he said ‘I only slag off people who can  take it, that’s why I slag you off, I know that you can take it!!’

In my heart, I felt like laughing because I only started singing less than a year ago & there were times when the drag queen mocked my singing that I felt really bad & almost felt like never singing again!! What a relief to learn that the joking was actually a compliment!!

I then explained to him how 5 years ago, I’d sit at the same bar & listen to people singing,  thinking I could never do that in a million years! I think he was quite surprised as I come accross quite confident but, I wasn’t always so confident & one can appear confident & still be really nervous inside!! It turned into the perfect opportunity to share some of my story & talk about inner-healing in a very practical & down to earth way with tangible fruits, me singing!! (Perhaps with more healing, I’ll actually sing well!!!)

The whole incident however did get me thinking thought about the power of words & at times, the danger of joking about! Some people are far more sensitive than we think & we have no clue what they might have gone through in their lives, even the ones that look super confident & have it all together!

So, let’s evangelise with kindness, with compliments, let’s be careful about teasing others too much & if someone does slag us off, let’s not take it to heart, they might only be joking because they like you & think that ‘you can take it!!’

It all happened so quickly!

A few days ago, our Parish priest asked me if I would serve a funeral mass on Thursday afternoon for a French speaking group from the Congo!

As I lived in France for many years, I was delighted with the opportunity to participate in a mass in French & of course to be of some use to our parish priest!

The mass continued as usual with lots of singing & colours until finally, it was over & we had to bring the coffin to the hearse.

I was holding the Holy water as the priest blessed the coffin when suddenly a grieving woman wailed:

‘It all happened so quickly!’

The phrase stuck in my heart & made me think on the priest’s homily during the mass!

Unlike many homilies nowadays which could easily be mistaken for the Canonisation speech for a future saint, this joyful & kind priest reminded us all of the basics. God can take any of us at any minute & we must live this life on earth with one eye on our future.

It turned out that the lady who passed away died only a very short time after a medical diagnosis. She had lots of plans but in the end, God’s plans were different!

In light of this, the priest called on us all to live good & holy lives, to forgive & to being always mindful of God.

Yes, city life can be lots of fun but let’s not forget that even in big cities such as London, Paris, New York, there is one thing that we cannot escape & that’s death!

So then, let’s take a leaf out of St. Therese of the Child Jesus, continuing the French theme, who not only was not dreading death but had such love & confidence in God’s love that she couldn’t wait to die!!

We can only of course have this attitude if we spend time getting to know God down here & that my friends is where once again, the importance of prayer comes in.

In prayer, we can experience God’s love & that will ignite in us such love that when we are dying we won’t be wailing ‘it all happened so quickly’ but rather ‘Aleliuah, about time Lord!!’

Mobile Drones & the City!

‘How are you?’ I smiled, bumping into one of my friends  earlier!

‘So busy, always on my mobile phone, I wish I could turn my hand into a phone’!! He replied, with tired eyes, exhausted from work & screen time…

As I reflected, it reminded me of the irony of the fact the London has about 9 million people & yet, an enormous amount of people here struggle with loneliness. Have we become ‘mobile drones’?

From the gym to the underground and even in the Church, people are constantly on their mobile phones & over the last few years, they even have their earplugs in which to me is a sort of a ‘DO NOT DISTURB ‘ sign.

And that’s not to mention the people that decide to have video calls at the coffee shop or wherever and shout so loudly that even without the mobile phone, they could be heard in Timbuktoo!

And yet, despite all of this, city people are struggling ENORMOUSLY with loneliness.

Now, evangelisation flies in the face of all this because it’s about talking to people & actually going out of one’s way to strike up conversations with strangers, thus allowing them to have a ‘face to face ‘ conversation with someone, and guess what? A lot of the time, people are absolutely delighted to pull out their earplugs, turn away from their mobile phones & actually talk to someone in person!

What to do then when you see someone glued to the phone with earplugs? How can you evangelise them without resorting to learning sign language?!!

Easy! You have to be equally bold in another way. Make eye-contact & just start speaking  as if they had no earplugs or phone and you might be pleasantly surprised. Often behind the sultry faces & serious vibes, lie very nice people  with stressful lives who will be more than happy to have a little chat & talk to another human being with a friendly face.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you do this with everyone or all of the time, but try it with the people that you see on a regular basis like those on your bus or train or whatever!

Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the courage & you might experience that after a while, the same people will approach you, pull their earplugs out & actually be the ones to start the conversation.

In conclusion, wherever we live, let’s bring back the sense of community, of friendship & of humanity! Even if we just make another human being smile, maybe only for a minute as they rest their eyes from their mobile phones – that can be evangelisation too!

MICE & the City!

Big cities are no strangers to rats & mice, & London is no different!! Recently, at our Church house in Notting Hill, we’ve been visited by these unwanted guests, scurrying around the rooms, especially at night!

With the situation deteriorating, the ‘rat-man’ (exterminators) were called & while he was at the house yesterday, we had a great old chat…

‘These are old buildings’ he explained, ‘mice travel from house to house, through the cavities in the walls and the water pipes and so basically, we seal up all the gaps & then they move onto the next house!!!’

‘Great’ I thought, especially if you don’t like your neighbours! However, it did get me thinking of the parallels between mice & demons!!

Like mice, demons are attracted to food but unlike mice, the food that demons like is things like anger, hatred, unforgiveness, greed, lust, pride etc.

When a demon finds a person with these things, he’s like a happy mouse that found an untidy kitchen with lots of scraps.

However, just like mouse, if the demon finds no food then he’ll simply move onto the next house, or in this case, person!

So how do we seal up the holes & cracks so that we are not vulnerable to demons? Well, it’s not with steel wool & filler that’s for sure, but once again, there is a parallel!

Just as  we need to inspect our house for the likely places that mice enter such as around the sink & near electrical wires, we too can inspect our souls for cracks.

Unresolved traumas from the past, occult activity, unforgiveness towards people who have hurt us, addictive behaviours we have participated in are just some of the main culprits & so main entry point for demons.

Once we have identified them, then we can set up the ‘healing & sealing process’ through things like inner-healing, reconciliation, prayer & yes, in some severe cases, deliverance & exorcism ministry.

The more then we have cleaned up our lives, the less demons have to feed off & so the chances are, they will move onto someone else!!

Now many people will say that they don’t believe in demons! Interestingly however, the rat-man doesn’t often actually see the rats & mice, rather he sees their droppings & the things they have chewed up etc.

So, are there any ‘demon – droppings’ in your life? Things like mood-swings, addictions, outbursts of anger, feeling of being cursed, everything going wrong, plagued by ill-health etc.

If yes, you may well be the victim of spiritual attack or demons &, Jesus, in His mercy, wants to free you & heal you & make your house, imposter free!

Many priests & lay people are skilled & trained in this area & so, just as we called the rat-man today for our house, how much more important is your life & soul?!

For more information, get in touch!

Good Shepherds of London!

One of the amazing things about the mission of evangelisation is that you get to meet the most extraordinary people that really minister more to you than you to them! Today was no exception & it happened once again at the gym….

‘How are you mate?’ Asked an Australian guy that I know from the gym & of course, usually when people ask you how you are, it’s because they want to tell you how they are!!

So, cutting through the fluff, ‘Super & what about you?’ I responded.

‘Really tired mate, exhausted from the new training I’m doing & all the extra weight I’ve put on.’

To be honest, I’ve never known the same fellow to be anything but ‘tired’, ‘very tired’ or ‘exhausted’ as he’s a surgeon & works all sorts of crazy hours.

Still, I asked him about his new training, sensing he needed to talk & blow off some steam.

‘It’s military training’ he replied, ‘I’m a humanitarian surgeon & I’m training at the moment with the army.’

Wow I thought as I was already getting tired imagining what that might be like!!

‘What’s it like?’ I asked, knowing I was in for a vivid explanation that would make my training look comparatively insignificant!

‘I have to bulk up, eat all sorts of food so that on a battlefield, I’d be able to grab an injured man & run 500 metres with him on my back to bring back to base!’

And I guess then he’d have to perform the surgery I thought, thinking that if it was me, I’d have surely have had a heart attack!

‘What do you practice on, have they got dummies? I inquired, wondering what a day with the army might be like……

‘No, we practice with real people & not on skinny ones like you! I have to be strong enough to lift them!!’

‘How fascinating’, I reflected as I ruled out ever working in the army!!

After we parted ways, I reflected on how brave some people can. Imagine being motivated enough to help others to the point of being willing to qualify as a surgeon, then to train with the army with the view to being on a battlefield, risking one’s own life to help others.

Immediately after the gym, I went to mass where I prayed for this man in a special way, thanking God for his generosity. It also happened to be ‘Good Shepherd’ Sunday, a Sunday where we reflect on Jesus, the priest, who came from heaven to the battlefield on earth, to give His life to save us.

If we could be as brave in our mission to evangelise the world as my Aussie friend is to save lives, how many countless vocations to the priesthood might we have & how many ordinary people may come back to the faith marvelling at the love & courage of those who gave up everything to follow Jesus & to shepherd his flock!

Come Holy Spirit, bless us with countless zealous vocations to the priesthood & thank you for the inspirational people that we meet on the journey of life, who remind us of what it is all about & call us to forgetting ourselves & to helping others.

Gym Evangelisation with a Twist!

One of the best places to do some evangelisation is at the gym! It’s what you might call ‘neutral territory’, there is a mix of every sort of person from age to ethnicity to orientation to gender & what’s more than that, it’s a ‘level playing field’, where all the money or pomp in the world can’t actually make you fit!

And so, with that in mind, let me share yesterday’s experience! I was doing some exercises which involved hanging upside-down off the bars when suddenly this guy asks me:

‘Are you a gymnast?’

Tempted to say, ‘yes, I was in the Olympics’, I explained that I wasn’t but that I had taken up Calestenics a few years back & have got pretty good.

This was a nice opener for me to tell him how I’d never been to a gym in my life until coming to London etc. & that I had received a lot of healing in my life to get me this far!

He smiled, somewhat surprised & began talking about the gym, training & how traumas from the past can affect the body & reduce one’s range of motion!

BINGO,  the door flew wide open to talk more about my life story, inner-healing & how I’ve seen the link between healing of trauma & physical fitness too.

He was delighted & yet with sad eyes said ‘yes, my past has been similar to yours’.

At this point, I gave him a link to my website & we exchanged numbers to meet for a chat some day, so let’s hope & pray that this happens.

In all honesty, I could tell 100 more stories like this, so very many people at the gym have all sorts of struggles & they go there as much for their mental wellbeing as for physical fitness & yet, many carry enormous unhealed emotional traumas that not only affect them emotionally, but affect their physical well-being & fitness too.

Talking to this chap was a great reminder of how we are holistic beings, mind, body & spirit & how Jesus desires to heal all dimensions of our lives.

As I was leaving, I bumped into another chap,  he’s gay & has been very hurt by the church but he’s always very friendly to me. He told me about the new fitness centre that has opened very close to where I live & invited me to call in!

Never one to turn down an invitation, I called  over later in the afternoon! It’s one of these elite gyms with all sorts of frills & it costs only a mere £450 per month!!!

I bought a cup of tea for £3 while I joked with the staff that I’d be back once I had won the lottery.

Still I thought, for people who don’t know much about Jesus or healing or prayer, I can see how this world of jacuzzis & saunas & spas could indeed be very attractive, especially for those with stressful lives!

How blessed we are to have prayer, to have confession, to have the Holy Spirit & charismatic healing ministry & how blessed I am, that with my cheap & cheerful gym membership of £50 per month, that I have strangers thinking that I’m a gymnast!

So, let’s pray for all those struggling with stress,  struggling with trauma & looking for healing & relief; that they too may find Our Lord Jesus & maybe save a fortune too on gym memberships & all sorts of other treatments!!

‘The glory of God is man fully alive’ St. Iraneus.

Thanks for reading & if you go to a gym, Evangelise!! It’s fun!

Healing Ministry fun!

As I was coming home after the gym yesterday, I opened the door of the house & bumped into one of the residents, an elderly retired priest!

‘How are you?’ I cheerfully exclaimed, not anticipating his contrasting reply!

‘Absolutely dreadful!!’ He sighed.

‘Gosh’ I thought to myself, ‘there isn’t much arguing with that!!’

Inquiring as to what was wrong, the poor man was dizzy, freezing cold, slightly confused & totally disoriented & I knew that I couldn’t just leave him & say ‘sorry about that, I’ll pray for you, cheerio!!’

‘Have you called the doctor?’ I queried him to which he responded anxiously:

‘Yes, but I couldn’t get through.’

It really wasn’t his day!

I brought him into the church & told him to wait at the back & went to find our parish priest who then told me where the doctors surgery was & asked me to accompany him!

So off we strolled and as we walked, I was chatting away with him, trying to get his mind off it all, while Inwas silently praying for him! He described waking up feeling freezing cold despite it being a hot day & his breath was quite clearly affected.

Some minutes later we arrived at the doctors surgery, not anyone’s favourite place in the world & we managed to get him an appointment for 3pm, 2 hours away.

Sensing he was still quite frail, I suggested we go for a cup of tea & a little chat! The advantage of having had years of anxiety is that I know exactly how helpful it can be to have somebody by your side & some light conversation to help lift the mood!

Tea was lovely & we had a nice little chat while all the time I continued to pray  for him.

Now you might be wondering why I didn’t just say ‘Can I say a prayer for you?’, which I may have done with someone else. However, I knew that this particular priest was somewhat skeptical of the healing ministry & wasn’t all that comfortable with charismatic spirituality  & besides, Jesus often prayed with people from a distance & they were healed, this priest was sitting right beside me!!

After our tea, we decided to walk back to the house as there was a further hour to wait & just as we got to the house he said;

‘I don’t feel cold anymore & my voice seems back to normal, I think I’ll cancel the doctors appointment!!’

He was thanking me incessantly for my company & moral support & acknowledged that somehow I had helped him recover.

Now, I suggested that he go to the doctors anyway, just for peace of mind & he did & of course they want to send him for tests  because of his age but he said he wouldn’t go until tomorrow as he had to celebrate mass for some nuns later!

It never ceases to surprise me how God works , how often the healing ministry can be a total puzzle to the medical world & how some illnesses & symptoms can literally spontaneously disappear after a little prayer.

It also never ceases to surprise me, how little a lot of priests know about the healing ministry & how much more healing could & would happen in our churches if it was really known about,  understood properly & encouraged.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of the priesthood, please raise up many young men to become not only priests but priests anointed in the Holy Spirit, confident & competent in the wonderful ministry of healing. May we also pray for all retired priests who’s health may be frail, that they never lose hope in Jesus’ healing love!

O ya, a prayer for doctors too, that they be reminded that Our Lord Jesus is on the healing staff too😂😂

God & the Sunbed!!

A few days ago as I was walking home, I was stopped by some young guys offering people a free sunbed experience! Not that I have any interest whatsoever in sunbeds, but I said to myself ‘that might be an interesting experience & an opportunity for some evangelisation’!!

And so, as I wandered home yesterday, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to go for it & see what all the fuss was about – the experience was unforgettable & in the end, we did get talking about God.

After registering, I was brought to the room where I was told to get naked, lie down & that the machine would start in 3 minutes & so there I was obediently waiting, really not knowing what to expect…

Then BOOM, LIGHTS, SOUND, HEAT & I thought I was going to have a heart attack!!

The lights were blinding, the fan was loud & it was really really hot! I felt like I was at the launching of a rocket & somehow I got stuck underneath!!

As I relaxed a bit & as my eyes adjusted to the lights, I noticed a little countdown timer in front of me. I had 12 minutes to cook in this giant microwave, more than enough time to do a divine mercy chapelet.

As I prayed, I was praying for people addicted to these type of beauty machines but I was also praying for people in hospitals, sitting on similar sort of machines, undergoing brain scans & all sorts of different treatments…

The 12 minutes finally ended & when I looked in the mirror, I could see all my freckles had come back!! Some people have a beauty spot but those of us with freckles have many!!

‘How was it?’ They asked me as I came out & I told them exactly what I’m telling you – unforgettable.

Never one to miss an opportunity to talk about God, I told them that it reminded me of prayer, of sitting in the presence of God & allowing him to work on our souls in this busy world! I explained that I am a catholic & write a blog & that I’d surely write about it tomorrow!! They were delighted & even jotted down the Web page & asked me to mention them (Clubtan – hello if you are reading)!!

Immediately after I left, I went to Eucharistic Adoration, delighted that Jesus’ love is free rather than £30 per month & yet very grateful for the entire experience.

To have a good tan, they recommend joining up & going several times per week to maintain it & isn’t it much the same with holiness!

In our busy & stressful world, if we really want to maintain our peace & love, we need to spend a lot of time in prayer with Jesus & let Him, the SON & not the SUN tranform our spiritual souls from the inside out.

And so, as I finish, my prayer is that more & more people will turn their attention to perfecting their souls & while it’s good & nice to look well physically, that our priorities will be in the right place because at the end of the day, our bodies will rot & die no matter how tanned but our spiritual souls will soar with all the graces we have accumulated during our short time on earth!

‘My daughter is gay’

Yesterday, I cycled once again to London’s Westminster Cathedral where after the 12.30 mass, I was meeting my very good friend from Ireland’s county Clare!

I could write another story about her because she’s so remarkable! She’s over 90 years old, as bright as a button, has her smartphone & ipad & everything and on top of that, she’s genuinely great fun.

So there we were, having a bite to eat & talking about life etc. when suddenly this woman who was sitting near us comes over & says:

‘Can I bless you both with some cake?!”

‘You don’t need to ask twice’ I thought as I enthusiastically said yes!

Munching on my lovely lemon cake, she came over again…

‘I’m sorry but I couldn’t help over-hearing some of your conversation and I just want to say:

‘I support you, my daughter is gay!’

My Irish friend was delighted! I am the first gay person she has ever known & now she was right in the middle of it all!!

The Lady was Welch & explained that in her church, people, especially parents would often make very unfriendly comments about gay people, not knowing that her daughter was gay & that often, she’d have to correct them & explain how that was not ok!

She continued to tell us that for that reason, her daughter no longer goes to  church as it’s too stressful & painful for her to be in an environment where people are not inclusive & sensitive to LGBT people!

Quite honestly, it reminded me of how I have felt every time I go to Medjugorje & indeed other places in the church & why many people in the LGBT community just leave altogether while still praying from home & believing in God in their hearts.

Now, this lady was Anglican & a part of the ‘Church of Wales ‘ & explained us how it was very difficult for women in her church & that many of the men would prefer a gay man as a  pastor or in leadership rather than a woman! How awful I thought and no wonder her daughter, a gay woman wasn’t attending!!

As our conversation wrapped up, with a lot of emotion, she told us of her gay friend who died & who loved Jesus so much despite not going to Church. When someone accused him of abandoning the church, she said; ‘No, he never abandoned the Church, it was the Church that abandoned him!’

Getting up, I gave her a big hug, my card & a miraculous medal & thanked God to have met such a beautiful kind & loving mother!

May we include in our prayers today, not only LGBT people but the parents of LGBT people who often suffer greatly & who so often can be shamed, excluded & the target of gossip in church communities, simply for having an LGBT child.

Jesus, teach us to love!.

Gay & the Confession Box!

One of the terrors of many LGBT people is going to confession, not because they think that they are saints or that they don’t need to go, but because of FEAR!!

So let me share this wonderful little experience that I had yesterday in London”s Westminster Cathedral!

I was sitting, waiting for confession when a priest I haven’t seen before entered the confession box! Even for me, an experienced penitant, I still get a little nervous, especially when or if I need to talk about LGBT issues & ministry!

Anyway, my turn came & I began by giving the priest a little context about who I am & what I do! Context is important for the priest to assess the gravity or responsibility of your actions & also helps him give you some relevant spiritual advice.

So when I told him about the struggles of being a gay catholic involved in evangelisation, I was taken aback by his overwhelmingly positive attitude!

‘You just love in a different way’ he said while also warning of the dangers of lust etc. and then he went onto say ‘I think you could be a priest, you have a lot to offer’.

I smiled, not wishing to get into a long discussion but inside, my heart grew in hope for the future of LGBT Catholics in the church & indeed for myself & my own journey.

The experience reminded me of one of my friends who was shouted at in confession 40 years ago & was PETRIFIED to ever go back, not because he didn’t want to but because ‘My heart couldn’t take it if I had another negative experience.’ After much prayer, about 2 weeks ago, he went back & had a wonderful experience!

How important I thought that priests are well trained in the confessional in this LGBT area and by the sounds of it, this priest could give them lessons!!

‘Satan calls you by your sins, Jesus calls you by your name’

He continued as he went on a sermon of positivity, encouragement & love & how important to say this to everyone, but especially to LGBT people who often get called all sorts of horrendous names….

I left the confession box, not only forgiven but feeling healed, loved, strengthened, understood & empowered!!

So what’s the lesson? The lesson is that times are changing for LGBT people, a lot of priests are very understanding & loving & are just waiting to administer the mercy, love & compassion of Jesus to members of the LGBT community in the privacy of the confession box (even after 40 years or more!!).

So let’s pray for priests,  for many souls in the LGBT community to come back to the practice of regular confession & prayer & who knows, maybe there is hope for me yet to be a ‘man of the cloth’ as they say!!

St. Joseph – NEVER LETS ME DOWN

On Sunday, I woke up with a great sense of St. Joseph close to me & so with that in mind, I asked him to guide my day!

Having been to Hillsong in the morning, I decided to go to evening mass down the road & unusually I found myself in the back seat.

Suddenly, an older Irish lady walked in who I had seen for a while & after the mass we said hello to eachother.

‘I’m having an awful time, won’t you come down to the house for a glass of wine & I’ll tell you all about it ..’ she exclaimed!!

‘This is my mission for this evening” I thought! She took the bus & I cycled & as I waited for her, I suddenly remembered her telling me before, she has a massive devotion to St. Joseph & on top of that, having worked as a nurse for 50 years, she’s super gay friendly, something not always the case with church folk.

However, what’s more interesting is where her devotion to St. Joseph came from & what an inspiring story that is….

Her Dad died when she was less than 2 years old & her mother remarried. However, her mother got sick & died of cancer when she was only 16 years old. So there she found herself orphaned in the west of Ireland with only her step-dad & half siblings with her.

‘But Michael, he was a true saint, he never raised a hand to me, never treated me any differently to the others & you know, I wasn’t easy, I was very bossy!

You know Michael, he was just like St. Joseph, who looked after the Holy family, yes Michael, he was extraordinary & so any time I have difficulties, I ask St. Joseph to help me, HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN!’

How beautiful, I thought & also how deep & moving & full of a faith & certainty that I’ve rarely seen before!

As the evening continued, we opened the wine & we both had a good laugh talking about life, about Ireland & about the various ups & downs we were having  & of course we finished with a prayer…to St. Joseph!!

As I cycled home, I prayed that more people would come to know St. Joseph & the power of His intercession, especially those people with no family or estranged from family (which so often happens LGBT people) or perhaps older people who’s family have passed away.

That St. Joseph would bring hope to them, comfort to them & connect them with other people for mutual support, love & friendship!

St. Joseph, Father of the fatherless, be a fatherly presence to us all today & renew the love & hope in our hearts that so often has been crushed by life’s trials!

Hope for Everyone

Yesterday, I went to Hillsong which is in Central London, close to Soho.

The pastor prayed that throughout the week, we’d all have ‘prophetic encounters’ & be used to bring more people to know God’s goodness!

So, after the service, the Holy Spirit guided me to Soho & to a particular coffee shop, much like a GPS for the car.

I walked in & immediately knew the person that the Holy Spirit had in mind.

He was tall, skinny, bald, covered in tattoos, a massive nose-ring, old dirty clothes & just in case that wasn’t alarming enough, he was having a very long conversation out loud with HIMSELF!!

I ordered my coffee & was praying away thinking ‘this isn’t very comfortable ‘ while over-hearing some of his ramblings.

Suddenly it dawned on me, his accent sounded a little Irish and so there it was, the hook!

‘Are you Irish my friend?’ I asked enthousically while trying not to stare at his eyes that looked like giant marbles.

He explained that he was a mix of Irish and other cultures & said he lived in Ireland once in a place called ‘Spanish Place ‘!

Eureka, that’s in county Clare where I grew up so then we had a great old conversation about Ireland & Clare,  the towns & music!

Eventually, the topic of religion came up & let’s just say, it was quite obvious that he hadn’t just come from Church!

‘I have no time for religion, I’m gay you see’ & he very quickly changed the subject.

Inside, I felt Jesus say to me ‘leave it there” and we parted ways shortly afterwards with a warm handshake. As I left I was prompted to pray for him, knowing that Jesus was thirsting for his soul too!

Sometimes, evangelisation isn’t so glorious and there are no spectacular fruits but what God puts on my heart is that when these people die & Satan comes running shouting ‘he’s mine’, Jesus will arrive & say ‘not so fast there, it’s true he didn’t pray much but graces were put aside for his soul too when a mass was offered for him & prayers said on that day in Soho or whenever….’

It’s important to remember that while we are in time, God is out of time & the workings of the spiritual realm are very different to that of the physical realm.

If we keep this attitude in mind, it takes a lot of the pressure off us when we meet people to ‘save them’ & we can just be normal & relaxed with people & simply see what happens!

Jesus, we trust in you! Help us evangelise with fun & joy!!

The Word of God is ALIVE

A few weeks ago, I noticed a young Asian man reading what looked like a bible at the coffee shop!

Intrigued, I approached him some days ago to say hello & yes, he was reading the bible.

‘It feeds my heart’ he said. ‘I feel empty & then I read the psalms & prophets Jeremiah & Isiaih & I feel their intimacy with God. It fills my heart & gives me strength for the day.’

How amazing I thought and how honest, heartfelt & genuine! He went on to tell me that he finds life in London very stressful and worldly & without the bible, he would lose his way.

How beautiful that there are so many different ways of praying, so many ways God feeds us and how beautiful to see someone reading the bible in public in this way!

Thank you Jesus for the gift of your word & all that has been handed down to us down through the generations, bless this young man to know, love & serve you more & grant him the peace in his heart that he craves!

And for anyone who has never read the bible or perhaps it has been a while, why not get a copy & read a little every day (as recommended by Our Lady of Medjugorje!!)

Brothers; One Gay, One Priest

Sunday was Easter Sunday in the Orthodox Church & just as I sat to have my coffee, a very big strong bald man of about 65 sat near me.

He was certainly not the type of man you’d want to get into a fight with and so when he looked at me and said “they are all f’cking stupid’ I just smiled as he went on a rant about smartphones making young people stupid!

However, he calmed down and began asking me what part of Ireland I’m from & what I do in London.

“Telling this fella about LGBT & that I’m one of them might not go down too well” I thought but hey, I’ll never know unless I do it!

The conversation took an amazing twist! He told me about his gay uncle who is now dying of cancer and how he came out only when his parents died.

He went onto say that his other uncle (brother of the gay one) was an Orthodox priest & when he found out about his gay brother, he refused to ever speak to him again.

“When a priest does that to you, your own brother, it’s got to have effects, I’m convinced that’s why he is sick “

He then went onto telling me how he accepted his gay uncle, gave him a massive hug when he came out & was on his way to visit him this week.

Such stories are heartbreaking & we can’t help but think of the story of the good samaritan. The priest passed by, the levite passed by but the samaritan stopped.

What a difference it would have made to this man & indeed to so many others to hear from a priest, representing God that ‘YOU ARE LOVED’, especially after waiting maybe 50 years to open up about that heavy secret that he was carrying.

Lord, help us to be a good samaritan today to someone who we meet & again, help the LGBT community in all the different churches to find & experience God’s love for them & open the hearts of  all priests to love them and understand their struggle & pain.

WELCOME BACK

An inspiring story to share from yesterday’s feast of the Divine Mercy!!

The Holy Spirit prompted me to go to a gay Karaoke bar despite feeling a little tired & not really in the mood!

Off I went when after about 30 minutes, an old gentleman who I just know by name approached me & said “I need you in my life, you have to bring me back to Jesus & Mary”.

I was blown away as he had  never shown much interest in my ministry up to now but as he spoke,  he explained that he was an evangelist for many years, spoke at conferences all over, was heavily involved in youth ministry but left it all at 47 because of being gay.

But life without Jesus hasn’t been all glamorous now he’s desperate to come back to Jesus and be accepted as a gay man.

It just shows thirst out there for God, for authenticity and how God can be at work in people’s hearts when we think that they have no interest whatsoever in either God or our ministries!!

Happy Feast of Divine Mercy!!

THE FATHER’S LOVE

God is amazing!

As I was having my morning coffee, minding my own business, a lady approached me asking me how to use her phone!

I helped her & as she was so friendly, I offered her a miraculous medal (I always carry a few).

Tears welled up as she took it and as I looked in her eyes, I immediately saw great love & pain & that it was linked to her Dad.

‘Has your Dad passed away?’ I asked.

‘Yes, with tears she replied ‘ as I hugged her & began to pray prophetically.

‘May this trip be a trip of love & healing….’ I prayed.

She cried more as she explained that she had just arrived in England on a special trip to retrace her Dad’s origins etc!!

How amazing!!

She’s invited me to the USA to visit her in Washington although I might wait till Trump calms down!

Just remember, whoever you are, God has the same loving fatherly love for you today!

Be attentive to the signs!!

CONFESSION AFTER 40 YEARS

A very encouraging Easter story!

As part of my outreach to the LGBT community, I met a certain man about 5 years ago who was gay, catholic and somewhat estranged from the sacramental life of the Church.

Probing as to why, it turned out he had a terribly traumatic experience with a priest about 40 years ago at confession and he was never back since then.

Over time, I’d encourage him to go, especially to some very kind priests I knew but progress was slow….

So a few weeks ago, I met him and he said something like “your ministry is wonderful….”.

A little annoyed that after almost 5 years of knowing him, he still hadn’t gone to confession, I replied back something like “words are nice but they fall short when they are not backed up with actions…”.

He knew what I meant and I guess, I knew him well enough to say that!!

So, we hadn’t met for a while until yesterday when he invited me for a coffee!

Guess what? He felt so convicted after what I said that last week, after 40 years, he went to confession & it went really well!

More than that, he’s been telling his friends and family & he has received so much positive encouragement! He’s now evangelising more than me!!

“Now that I’ve gone once, I’ve no fear of going again”, he said with a smile.

What a wonderful little pre-Easter testimony! I was so happy!!

God or confession isn’t about shaming us, God is all about love, restoration & transformation!

Happy Easter triduum everyone & let’s pray for those who are afraid of coming back to Church for whatever reason, especially those in the LGBT community who have so often been very wounded.

ZOOM A PRIEST!

Yesterday, I was so blessed!

A franciscan priest who had seen some of my videos etc. got in touch & we decided to arrange a video call!

In the spirit of St. Francis, he was genuinely so interested in our ministry to the marginalised of the LGBT community, in pastoral care for LGBT people in the church & in the various theological issues.

He was humble, open, curious, direct & full of all sorts of honest questions!

As the call ended, I pondered what might the church be like if all priests were like this man and what pastoral care and outreach might exist in the Catholic Church worldwide, if priests & bishops were simply willing to sit down and listen to people like me & others who work with the LGBT community “on the ground” and grounded in today’s reality!

It also made me sad for the very sad abusive situation that we have had to endure in Medjugorje because of a devious priest & a hierarchy that didn’t want to know.

The reality is that LGBT issues & the need for pastoral care will not go away! One can climb the hills in Medjugorje, offer 1000 masses & rosaries, some might even be waiting for the end of the world but this is just avoidance!

Jesus needs good priests to come down from the clouds & to deal pastorally & practically and lovingly with the growing need of pastoral care for LGBT people & their families!

Our Lady of Medjugorje, pray for us, pray for your priests, pray for the LGBT community!

PUMP IT UP!

The other day, I was having my morning coffee when a young french woman sat beside me! As I don’t speak a whole lot of french these days, it was  good to chat, I haven’t lost it, it’s still there!!

She was very interesting and was very concerned about true feminine beauty!

‘Look around’ she said as she puffed up her lips pointing at most of the women in the coffee shop!

‘They have all had surgery’ she said and as we are in the Notting Hill area, she was probably right!! There is no shortage of women with the ‘barbie doll’ image with dogs & a credit card!

‘Why?’ She asked. Sad that so many women are having surgery etc. to look and feel good!

She wasn’t really judging them, although perhaps a little, she was more just observing and sharing honestly.

Today, in the Catholic Church, we have the feast of the annunciation, when Our Lady was visited by the angel Gabriel!

Yet, we can be sure that Our Lady never had surgery to feel or look beautiful. Free of sin, she knew who & what she was in God’s eyes.

And it’s not just women, plenty of men are having all sorts of surgeries too! I heard for example that many Brazilian men get a surgerical 6 pack, easier than years of training no doubt!

So, perhaps a prayer on this feast day is that we will all come to experience God’s love & learn to feel good about ourselves without all these different procedures and embrace true & authentic humanity without the show!

Our Lady, pray for us & have special mercy on those people that feel so incredibly body conscious that they feel compelled to have surgeries. Touch them with your motherly love & acceptance!

GAY & LOVED

Yesterday evening, the Holy Spirit sent me on a bit of adventure. Very directly. He said ‘walk around Soho’ and so I did, unsure where He would send me next.

Then just as I passed ‘The Old Compton”, He said, go in there and so I did.

‘The Old Compton ‘ is one of the most popular bars in the heart of Soho & so I ordered a half pint of Peronni and stood there, inwardly saying ‘Lord, now what ?’

‘Pray 3 Hail Mary’s & trust’ I heard back and so I did!

No sooner had I finished than a group of about 6 men& one trans woman  began talking to me & insisted I join them…and so I did!!

They were tremendous fun & were quizzing me about my life etc. So when I began talking about God’s love for LGBT people and His understanding of all the shaming & rejection, they were deeply touched.

I offered them a miraculous medal each & some of them almost started to cry.

One older man with a tear said ‘it’s the first time I’ve heard someone like you from the church say that God loves me.’

It was very moving to hear but also very sad.

The beautiful trans woman told me that she’s catholic & runs her own business! ‘Just because I’m trans, some people think I’m a thicko’ she said with great humour!!

Later an Italian chap began telling me how he believes in God but left the church because when he asked a priest questions about the Trinity, the priest just brushed him off and replied that we ‘had to believe it as it’s a dogma’.

So there I found myself discussing the 3 persons of the Trinity, the Incarnation of Jesus, His 2 natures & minds all in the middle of Soho.

More & more conversations opened up with one Irish guy saying ‘this is my grandmother’s prayers, her anniversary is tomorrow ‘ as he took a miraculous medal!

All in all, a wonderful evening of evangelisation, love, sharing, honesty & prayer.

The Gay community are thirsting for God, each member is special in Jesus’ eyes and Jesus is calling us to love, to listen, to respect & to pray that they may find a place in our church too, a place where they can learn, heal & experience Christian community

COFFEE WITH THE TRINITY

Coffee shop evangelisation is so funny, especially in today’s secular society!

Yesterday, Celina, who has just recently become a catholic was asking me about the prayer meeting the night before.

Conscious that there were people all around me & that the prayer meeting focused a lot on demons & spirits, I said to myself: “this might be fun!”.

So rather than whisper so nobody could hear me, I spoke nice & loudly & clearly, especially around the buzz words of ‘demons”, “exorcism”, ” deliverance” to grab people’s attention before talking about healing, prayer etc.

After all, the other people in coffee shops & trains in London have no problem talking out loud about their relationships, their therapy sessions, their sex lives…I could write a best-seller!!

Our conversation continued as Celina was asking me about how we believe in one God but 3 persons and again, why whisper or be ashamed of talking about the Trinity?!!

Now the story ends there, there was no big encounter or exchange but that said, perhaps those people sitting around me heard more about God & spiritual realities than they have for a long time!!

So let’s not be afraid to push the boundaries, let’s not feel that we must whisper away in the corner if we want to talk about faith or spirituality.

Let our light & faith shine, we just never know who might be listening 🤣🤣

WE MUST NOT JUDGE

Coffee shop evangelisation is so funny, especially in today’s secular society!

Yesterday, Celina, who has just recently become a catholic was asking me about the prayer meeting the night before.

Conscious that there were people all around me & that the prayer meeting focused a lot on demons & spirits, I said to myself: “this might be fun!”.

So rather than whisper so nobody could hear me, I spoke nice & loudly & clearly, especially around the buzz words of ‘demons”, “exorcism”, ” deliverance” to grab people’s attention before talking about healing, prayer etc.

After all, the other people in coffee shops & trains in London have no problem talking out loud about their relationships, their therapy sessions, their sex lives…I could write a best-seller!!

Our conversation continued as Celina was asking me about how we believe in one God but 3 persons and again, why whisper or be ashamed of talking about the Trinity?!!

Now the story ends there, there was no big encounter or exchange but that said, perhaps those people sitting around me heard more about God & spiritual realities than they have for a long time!!

So let’s not be afraid to push the boundaries, let’s not feel that we must whisper away in the corner if we want to talk about faith or spirituality.

Let our light & faith shine, we just never know who might be listening 🤣🤣