Medjugorje LGBT Ministry

I was fourteen when I first tried smoking. In those days, there was no such things as low tar cigarettes. The urge to try smoking came up internally every now then and one day I was out riding my bike, I bought a pack and started trying it.

After I got home later that afternoon I felt the craving for a cigarette. However due to being scared of my father’s anger I didn’t smoke. From that point the desire to have a cigarette would come up at different times, it would be strong and intense. It felt like it was always at me, trying to wear me down.

Occasionally I would buy a pack and try a cigarette or two and then swear and throw the pack out. This battle went on internally, in a on and off basis for roughly the next twenty eight years and when it happened, I could sense and feel it.

After I moved out of my parent’s house for the last time, I got sick of constantly fighting the desire to smoke. I started smoking at the time I also realised that I enjoyed smoking. I started on May 1 2020.

The previous tenant of the flat where I lived, died from smoking related issues. The flat stank of cigarettes, being around the smell encouraged me at the time as well.

However Jesus did not like me smoking. On three separate occasions I came home from church events to find myself cured of smoking. The battle was on in my mind. At the time I wanted to smoke so I chose to smoke.

Jesus did not let up. He let me know he did not like or want me smoking. One distinct memory I was outside my home smoking. At one point I heard Jesus say, ‘Do you realise how much tar you are putting in your lungs?’. By his voice I could tell he was standing next to me when I heard him.

On September 10 2023 Jeaus came down, I heard him say, ‘If you want to get  to advance spiritually, you will need to stop smoking’ that was on the  Sunday.

On Thursday September 14 2023. I was smoking Jeaus came down he led me  in a prayer. After that I put out my cigarette and stopped on the spot. He also  instructed me to empty my ash tray and throw them out. I was not to leave them  in the house at all. Which I did.

At the time I stopped, I was experiencing the symptoms of early onset  emphysema. I was struggling to breathe when I walked anywhere.  Since then only twice have I lit a cigarette, Jesus was there for me again. I put
the cigarette out, and was told to throw them out.

Jesus’ instructions were that I was  not to leave them in the house.  On one other occasion I bought a pack. When I did, I felt the grace to stop and stay stopped.

However, when Jesus helped me stop, he did more than help me stop. He gave me a reason to stay smoke-free and I was also ready at this time for this  I believe he restored my ability with his grace to resist the temptation.

Since I quit smoking, I’ve come to realise something important about myself: I struggle with the very thing that’s also one of my greatest strengths, single-mindedness. When I focus on something, I give it everything. That intensity became part of my addiction, making it harder to let go.

But I now see that single-mindedness is a gift from God. The problem wasn’t the gift , it was where I directed it. When I was ready to stop, it took more than willpower. It was Jesus who gave me the courage and strength to turn that focus away from addiction and toward freedom.

He helped me not only to stop, but to stay stopped. And now I try to use that same God-given focus to stay on the path He’s set before me. This gift needs to submitted to the Holy Spirit and come under Jesus’ lordship.

Another hard part of smoking is that I had developed a taste for it. The other lot (demons ) don’t help either. At times they have all but had me actually smoking. Trying to make it as though I am still smoking.
When this happens I need to remember why I stopped and to trust in the grace Jesus has given me and continues to make available.

As I conclude, one thing I know is that addiction can be complex, there are many factors and it can be a constant battle but Jesus is there and, He understands, He is constantly helping us, healing us and calling us to Him. I can’t promise that I will never smoke a Cigarette again but what I can promise is that if I do, I’ll turn to Jesus and trust in His love and mercy to help me once again!! May you, do the same with whatever you may be struggling with. Thank you for reading!

Stacy