Medjugorje LGBT Ministry

I was adopted as a baby. I was told my birth mother left two wishes for me. The first I be raised a Catholic and secondly around a musical instrument.

My parents were traditional catholics. We all went to mass every Sunday, sat towards the back of the church and always wore our Sunday best.

My parents tried to honour both of those wishes.  With the piano I have been told I was asking engineering questions, like ‘Why does one key sound different to another.’ Dad also told me when I could, I would go down to the garage and try to undo the wheel nuts on the car. I also had a tendency to pull things apart. The other issue here I have always had a sense of a call to religious life.

I have experienced bullying at school, from my sister at home and in the work place.
While growing up, at times I saw and felt Stacy in me. She was a girly girl and precocious.  In the early part of my puberty while I was trying to build a male identity, I saw her step out in my mind and say, ‘Hey, what are you doing. I’m already here, Fuck off.’

As a child I was extremely sensitive to those around me. I grew up with an angry parent. When dad got angry it would flare up and he would fly off the handle. I was scared of my father.

By the age of fourteen I was in the middle of my gender war. One night I heard a voice speak through my heart it said, ‘This is not why I made you.’ The voice was my Heavenly Father revealing himself to me in the middle of my struggles. It was  the first time I heard him.

I misinterpreted what that voice said and meant. Shame, fear and confusion became constant companions after this. It would be another twenty five years before I started to understand what I heard and felt that night.

That voice has always stayed with me.
The bullying at school and home continued. At home it was relentless and constant.
Another issue for me at times I would go against the grain. When I was in this place, no amount of peer pressure could or would change my mind.

At the age of sixteen I had my first suicide attempt. Unfortunately things were not reported and I got no help.

After that I remember knowing I was a girl inside myself. I also had mental health issues which not getting help exacerbated.
I had my conversion in year twelve.

While I realised I was loved the journey to knowing Gods love for me had started.
In 1987 I joined a charismatic covenant community. Before I joined I heard Gods voice tell me I needed to tell someone about my gender issues, which I did. It did nothing to help me understand or resolve my issues. I ended up being told I needed and was then ministered deliverance. The person was conservative, close minded and unhelpful. He had no understanding of the issues involved, and was very black and white in his approach and what he expected of me.

In 1993 I got married and became a dad. When I saw my son I felt a connection to this person. It is something I had never experienced before.

My wife developed serious psychotic post natal depression. We were in and out of the psych wards and ED’s at the time.  In the early part of my marriage, my wife and I were at mass. I felt my religious vocation. I felt Jesus lift it off me this night. There was no explanation either. It was there one minute and gone the next.

In 1994  I was diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis answered some questions .
In the year 2000, I had my second suicide attempt. I ended up in the hospital. After this, I ended up seeing a counsellor who told my wife and I that we were both victims of satanic ritual abuse (SRA).

That went on for the next two years and ended up in a marriage breakdown.
It was during this period that Jesus got moving and dealing with my spiritual past as well as my own issues.

A significant issue for me that Jesus revealed was I had lost a twin brother in utero. This issue has had profound and serious consequences in all areas of my life. The healing here is ongoing as well.  My counsellor missed this fact and proceeded down the SRA road.

In 2003, I started my theology degree. I graduated in 2016 with my degree. It was the first thing that I finished. I walked out of the church in 2004 after an encounter with a close-minded priest.

What I know now is that my blessed mother Mary was praying for me. World youth day came to Sydney in 2008. I avoided everything to do with it. The grace for me here was I returned to the church. It is through Mary’s intercession for me that this happened.

Jesus started healing, teaching me. He revealed two gifts he had given me  namely intercession and leadership. With my leadership, I was shown the times when I went against the grain. It was me being the leader. This was a gift I did not want, I told Jesus this. After that, God the Father stepped up and took me on. In the end, I owned my gift. It was an argument God showed me I was never going to win. The paradox here in losing the argument with God I actually win.

After my marriage breakdown, I got on with things. Jesus brought Fr. Don into my life, he became my spiritual director. In October of 2010, I started transitioning. I found God understood me and what I had done. He also has a plan for my life as Stacy.

I went through my second puberty. That lasted approximately four and a half years. After that, my call to religious life returned. This time, I was able to start serious discernment of it, albeit privately.

I have been walking the journey through my interior castle. St. Teresa of Avila, Jesus, and mother Mary have all been my guides here.
Jesus continued to help me with my issues. Revealing serious neglect during my teenage years. With his help, I am continuing the journey of healing and forgiving.

At one point in 2023, I was publicly outed at church. It was through this incident that God told me my name, Stacy, was his name for me.
In July 2024, I was diagnosed with ASD level two. After that, a lot more puzzle pieces of my life fell into place.

Today transgender issues remain difficult, misunderstood, and challenging. However, God understands and loves all of us with our issues and has a plan for our lives. He can and does cope. It is man who chooses not to.

I love Jesus so much, He accepts me as trans and when I experience his love, I want to shout it from the rooftops and share His love with the whole world, especially those struggling and suffering in the trans community, Jesus loves you!